Ask Me Help Desk - Involuntarily taking my ex husband's parental rights

I recently moved to Atlanta Ga and went through all the legal ways of moving. In the relocation letter my husband and I stated that we would bring the 14 yr old child to meet my ex in Columbus on the third weekend of every month. We have been up here for almost 4 months now and he has yet to meet me. I have texted him on his weekend in August and September and he keeps telling me I moved he didn't and he isn't going to meet me. He did not contest the move. I was wondering if I can have his rights involuntarily taken away from him for abandonment, and failure to keep in contact with the child. My husband of 11 years wants more than anything to adopt her. Is this possibel, please help me!

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Originally Posted by ntlgdwn

I recently moved to Atlanta Ga and went through all the legal ways of moving. In the relocation letter my husband and I stated that we would bring the 14 yr old child to meet my ex in Columbus on the third weekend of every month. We have been up here for almost 4 months now and he has yet to meet me. I have texted him on his weekend in August and September and he keeps telling me I moved he didn't and he isn't going to meet me. He did not contest the move. I was wondering if I can have his rights involuntarily taken away from him for abandonment, and failure to keep in contact with the child. My husband of 11 years wants more than anything to adopt her. Is this possibel, please help me!

You say that you "went through all the legal ways of moving", but don't say what those were. If a costody and visitation order was in place, you would need to be sure not to change the visitation schedule provided in it. If, for example, it would require him to drive farther (If he is in Columbus, it doesn't appear that he doesn't have to, but I don't know.), or if it would change the times when he has visitation.

What would it accomplish to take away rights that he doesn't use?

As far as step-parent adoption is concerned, I believe you will need the ex's consent.

"§ 19-8-6. Surrender of parental rights where father and mother not still married; surrender of rights where only one parent still living

(a) Except as otherwise authorized in this chapter:

(1) A child whose legal father and legal mother are both living but are not still married to each other may be adopted by the spouse of either parent only when the other parent voluntarily and in writing surrenders all of his rights to the child to that spouse for the purpose of enabling that spouse to adopt the child and the other parent consents to the adoption and, where there is any guardian of that child, each such guardian has voluntarily and in writing surrendered to such spouse all of his rights to the child for purposes of such adoption; or

(2) A child who has only one parent still living may be adopted by the spouse of that parent only if that parent consents to the adoption and, where there is any guardian of that child, each such guardian has voluntarily and in writing surrendered to such spouse all of his rights to the child for the purpose of such adoption.

(b) In the case of a child 14 years of age or older, the written consent of the child to his adoption must be given and acknowledged in the presence of the court.

..."

I contacted a lawyer and we did what the Family Law in Alabama required. We wrote a relocation letter stating the new address, school she would be attending, new phone numbers... that also included a change in the visitaion, such as I would meet him half way in Columbus Ga at the same times as before. He had 45 days to contest it and try to stop me from moving. He didn't fight me and once the 45 days were up we moved. The move was because of a better job opportunity in a better school district. My lawyer told me that if he didn't contest the relocation letter that he is stating that he agrees to the terms of the letter including the visitation. Now that we have moved up here he refuses to meet me half way as the relocation letter stated... He also don't call her or ever try to make any type of contact with her. She no longer wants to see him or have anything to do with him... and to be honest when she was 11 she asked me when she could make the choice to see him or not. She also has talked to me about having my husband adopt her because her daddy don't love her. It breaks my heart to watch my child in pain because her father don't love her. Does this help with my situation?

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Originally Posted by ntlgdwn

...Does this help with my situation?

To some degree, yes. If a local attorney advised you that this was all you needed to do, I suppose it was. I have never heard of such a procedure however and am somewhat surpised to learn that you can, in Georgia, send your ex such a 45-day ultimatum.

You might want to double-check with your attorney, but as I say, my research suggests that in your state, you cannot get a step-parent adoption without the consent of the bio-dad.

The lawyer we consulted was actually from Alabama because that is where my case is. I am not sure what the GA law is. Does it depend on which state your case is in on what you are able to do as far as rights are concerned?

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Originally Posted by AK lawyer

T I have never heard of such a procedure however and am somewhat surpised to learn that you can, in Georgia, send your ex such a 45-day ultimatum.

Ala. Code § 30-3-160 et. Seq.

Alabama law requires each party in child custody action who has either custody of, or the right of visitation with a child, to notify other parties who have custody of, or the right of visitation with the child, of any change in his or her address or telephone number, or both, and of any change or proposed change of principal residence and telephone number, or numbers of a child.

This is a continuing duty and remains in effect for each child subject to the custody or visitation provisions of this decree until your child reaches the age of majority (age 18) or becomes emancipated and for so long as you are entitled to custody of or visitation with a child covered by this order.

If there is to be a change of principal residence by you or your child subject to the custody or visitation provisions of this order, you must provide the following information to each person who has custody or visitation rights under this decree as follows:

The intended new residence, including the specific street address, if known
The mailing address, if not the same as the street address
The telephone number or numbers at such residence, if known.
If applicable, the name, address, and telephone number of the school to be attended by the child, if known.
The date of the intended change of principal residence of a child.
A statement of the specific reasons for the proposed change of principal residence of a child, if applicable.
A proposal for a revised schedule of custody of or visitation with a child, if any.

Notice of Relocation

Unless you are a member of the Armed Forces of the United States of America and are being transferred or relocated pursuant to a non-voluntary order of the government, a warning to the non-relocating person that an objection to the relocation must be made within 30 days of receipt of the notice or the relocation will be permitted.

You must give notice by certified mail of the proposed change of principle residence on or before the 45th day before a proposed change of principal residence. If you do not know and cannot reasonably become aware of such information in sufficient time to provide a 45 day notice, you must give notice by certified mail not later than the 10th day after the date that you obtain such information.

Your failure to notify other parties entitled to notice of your intent to change the principal residence of a child may be taken into account in a modification of the custody of or visitation with the child.

Objection to Relocation

If you, as the non-relocation party, do not commence an action seeking a temporary or permanent order to prevent the change of principal of a child within 30 days after receipt of notice of the intent to change the principal residence of the child, the change of principal residence is authorized.

You can not get his rights taken away, but you may be able to get visitation modified since he will not meet you. But you will have to file in court with evidence that he is not meeting

GV70, that is exactly what we did... so the move is legal but he refuses to see her or call her since we moved because he is mad at me for moving yet he is the one who didn't try and stop me so therefore he agreed to the terms of the move. I just think it sucks that he wants nothing to do with her now that we live up here and she is actually happy here.

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Originally Posted by ntlgdwn

GV70, that is exactly what we did...so the move is legal but he refuses to see her or call her since we moved because he is mad at me for moving yet he is the one who didnt try and stop me so therefore he agreed to the terms of the move. I just think it sucks that he wants nothing to do with her now that we live up here and she is actually happy here.

Why not offer to drive the child there to him since you were the one that moved away? If you were to go to court over it you will end up doing that anyway. It seems you were looking for a deal. Now that its not working to your favor you just want to remove his rights. Sure you followed the law on most things but you didn't follow the law with respect to it being automatic everything. The traveling seems to be the issue here. And you should be the one doing the traveling not him.