I have 4 daughters. There ages are 31,27,26,24 and 15. My 15yr old is still at home. I have told them how it hurts me that they rarely visit. I asked them if its because of this or that. They say they never have a problem with it. They just don't. They know there wrong but keep doing it. I have 7 grandchildren also that I very rarely get to see because they don't visit. It hurts me so very bad that I don't see them. I'm a young mother at heart. I feel as though I can relate to them a lot. We have a good open communication. They tell me everything whenever we speak on the phone or we finally do visit. I'm not saying our relationships are perfect but it seems pretty decent most of the time. That's why I don't understand why they don't come around more. I have told them exactly how this makes me feel and they say there sorry and know its wrong but they don't change. Can you please tell me what the problem is. I am so lonely. I need my children and I don't know what else to do. I'm really starting to get to the point where I'm not going to want them to come. I don't want it to go there. Please help!

The best thing to do is too go out to dinner with them, and get them to come round more often, a good place to be spending time is taking them out camping, (if you are living in the uk I would suggest a place called west wittering, has an amazing view and beach) this way you spend more time together and will see more each other, or if your not the camping person take them to alton towers and stay in a hotel that way you can catch up with them all. BUT they do love you deep down :)

Maybe you could visit them instead of the other way around,at least it would give you the opportunity to get to know your grandchildren,once this is re-established alsorts of openings for all of you could arise.

Next time you speak over the phone,ask them if they mind if you pay them a visit,telling them you need to get out or what ever suits you to say at the time.

I think the worst that they may say is no not that day but maybe they will offer another day that will be more suited to the both of you.

How close to you do they live? Do you ever visit them? I hesitate when my husband's children visit us because they have children, our house is not childproof, the grandkids can get bored.

They DO invite us to visit them and we do so frequently.

Sometimes the pressures of life and jobs and raising children and maintaining relationships take a toll on personal relationships with other family members. They could very well "simply" be very busy.

Have you tried inviting them for a specific day/time, for example, dinner on Sunday, instead of just an open "come and visit me" invitation.

First off, Thank you all for the quick answers. There was some good advice but Im thinking I might have left a few things out that will clear some of your questions up. At the moment I don't have a license. I cannot go visit them. I have tried to have a dinner once a month at my house thinking that would be a good idea and it always seemed as though one or the other couldn't make it so I would reschedule it. All of my girls have been very fortunate and do not need to work at the moment. They don't really have hobbies that keep them busy either. They do visit each other a lot. Im glad they have a good relationship but I wish they would take some time out for me too. I could go 2,3 weeks without hearing from them if I didn't call. My 15 yr old is very upset in how they treat me and her for that matter. I know your probably thinking there's something Im not telling you. Maybe something that I am hiding but that is not true. I am being completely honest. I really want to figure this out. As far as the grandchildren, I do see them a little more because when they ask me to babysit I'll have them for days! I love every minute of it then I won't see them again for weeks! I will be open for more advice. Thank you all...

I think I'd chalk it up to busy lives or inattention. I don't think here's anything you aren't telling us. It's great that they are close to each other, by the way.

Would they be more receptive if you invited one family at a time to your house?

Hi JudyKayTee, I have also done that! This has been going on for yrs. I have 5 kids and Im starting to have that empty nest syndrome I think. My life has always been about my kids and I feel like Im losing them slowly. That would kill me. Not sure what to do at this point.

I live in Wva. I really don't have a lot of money to spend. That's why I try to have dinner at my house. We use to go camping all the time when I was married to there Father but Im single now. That's another reason I miss them. Its just me and my 15 yr old. Thank God she's still home. I dread the day she's out on her own. Don't get me wrong, Im not overbearing. If I could see my kids every 3 weeks I would be happy!

It's hard to be the Mom, surrounded by kids, watching them drift off into their own lives. It doesn't answer your question but do you have other, outside interests? You know your 15 year old is going to be flying from the nest in about three years and you need to be prepared.

My story is - I was my late husband's caretaker. When he died I was totally lost because I had no time for outside interests and I had no one to care for.

I think you need to start looking around and planning.

Thank You JudyKayTee, That thought has crossed my mind more than once! I know that days coming and I need to be prepared but is do you think Im asking too much to (have a normal closeness to my girls?) I came from a very dysfunctional family and I don't think its OK for your family to drift apart. My family wasn't close and I see what that did to my sisters. I don't want my girls to raise there children like that. I really appreciate your answers and concern. Thank You so much..

Maybe try what my family does. My mother-in-law lives nearby but is housebound and 92, and my own mother is 87 and 500+ miles away. Therefore, my two sons have gotten into the habit of sending each of them newsy letters about their lives with work and pets. In turn, my mother-in-law and mom send back short notes of encouragement or greeting cards or even write a letter now and then. The two women treasure the letters from my sons and reread them often (they claim). And my sons are happy to hear from their grandmothers and get prompts for another letter to each.

Of course, nowadays with cell phones and computers and email and IMs, it's nearly impossible not to stay in touch. I'll pop onto Facebook to see what's going on and get into a conversation with my sis-in-law in Wisconsin.

There's more than one way to skin a cat!

It is happening to me too, I wanted exactly what you want. You should be so proud of yourself that you brought them up well and that they're close. But I think now we have to release them to God or release them and don't contact them until they contact you and we need to start building our lives and accept things the way they are, whether we like it or not. Sounds harsh but I'm going to try to take my own advice. They do love us deep down and will always be grateful for the way we have brought them up.