Last year, I thought I found the right person; he was patient, caring, compassionate, nice and funny. He was strong and incredibly smart, we've been through a lot together - until I decided to break it off at some point (he had to relocate to another continent and I didn't want to, he refused to come live with me) and honestly, I did not regret my decision once. I did the right thing and avoided us more heartbreak, job search, apartment hunting, visas and the rest.
He respected my decision even though I know he was devastated, sent me an email or two saying he misses me and that we should "at least" remain friends and I never replied. Meanwhile I had a dating phase, but lately I felt like all my relationships were rebounds of previous ones, so I enjoy being single right now.
As I said, I didn't regret it at any moment... until now. Since 2-3 days, I wonder how he is doing. I don't want to call him or email him because I know he will get his hopes up, no matter what I say. Yet I hear his favorite songs everywhere, see the stuff he likes and end up Google'ing his work phone number just to stare at it. I do not love him (well, I hope I don't) but I don't understand what is going on here (and don't say it's because I'm alone, because I feel perfectly fine with the way things are at the moment.)
Am I too selfish? Is it because I don't want him to forget me, even though I can't/won't love him back? Why do we always want what we can't have? Is this human nature or is there something wrong with me?
Thank you for your help.