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-   -   What is wrong with me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=604116)

  • Oct 15, 2011, 03:35 PM
    pandead
    What is wrong with me?
    Last year, I thought I found the right person; he was patient, caring, compassionate, nice and funny. He was strong and incredibly smart, we've been through a lot together - until I decided to break it off at some point (he had to relocate to another continent and I didn't want to, he refused to come live with me) and honestly, I did not regret my decision once. I did the right thing and avoided us more heartbreak, job search, apartment hunting, visas and the rest.

    He respected my decision even though I know he was devastated, sent me an email or two saying he misses me and that we should "at least" remain friends and I never replied. Meanwhile I had a dating phase, but lately I felt like all my relationships were rebounds of previous ones, so I enjoy being single right now.

    As I said, I didn't regret it at any moment... until now. Since 2-3 days, I wonder how he is doing. I don't want to call him or email him because I know he will get his hopes up, no matter what I say. Yet I hear his favorite songs everywhere, see the stuff he likes and end up Google'ing his work phone number just to stare at it. I do not love him (well, I hope I don't) but I don't understand what is going on here (and don't say it's because I'm alone, because I feel perfectly fine with the way things are at the moment.)

    Am I too selfish? Is it because I don't want him to forget me, even though I can't/won't love him back? Why do we always want what we can't have? Is this human nature or is there something wrong with me?

    Thank you for your help.
  • Oct 15, 2011, 03:53 PM
    talaniman
    Nothings wrong with you. Sometimes romance doesn't last, or life gets in the way, and that sucks. Will for a while, but we recover, and try it again when we feel better.
  • Oct 16, 2011, 05:56 PM
    vanheart
    Nah,

    You just have to stick with your decision.

    People come in & out of our lives. That's what's great about it. And terrible at times.
    Some last a lifetime, some just a short time.

    You can have a fond place for him, just as long as you don't trip on it. Carry a torch.

    No one wants someone they hold dear from their past to forget about them. But that's just human.
    There's more important things to be concerned with.

    Like living in the moments. What makes you happy now. At this second.

    "I felt like all my relationships were rebounds"

    Well... Then take some time.
    Don't do that again.

    Change your mindset.


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