We have been going out since 4/1/06. We were living together off and on since 2008. His house is on his parents propery, and his mom doesn't like me at all. And the reason to living together is off and on is because she refuse to have me on her property and has kicked me out several times. And during last summer she kicked me and I had no where to go, I was allowed to stay at my parents house until the end of August.. My relationship with my boyfriend is horrible when we are not living together. We can't handle being apart or having our relationship restricted and then we take it out on each other. And I broke up with him in the middle of August due to thefighting and stress and I found a person who need a roommate.. So I moved in. Then person is a guy. And drinks wayyyyy too much. I was depressed that I didn't have my boyfriend anymore and started drinking. Because well, it was right there. This guy and I never dated.. But he had sex a couple times. I couldn't take not having my boyfriend anymore and walked to house.. Where he took me back at 1st then kept on changing his mind saying that he couldn't believe that I cheated on him.. And well he took me back any way and he brings it up at east once a day. That I "cheated" on him. I love him so much he is my everything. And I can't help to feel that he hates me. How can I show him I didn't cheat on him. We weren't together... And how can I show him he can trust me? Help pleaseee

Badjuju,

I welcome you to this beautiful site, first!

Go and talk to him. Communication brigdes many gaps. You are not an exception.

Good luck!

Try being single for a while.

Stop relying on guys to make you happy. Or for comfort.

You've entered both relationships for the wrong reasons.

Drinking and cheating.

Oh dear oh dear

Well this relationship does no sound. Healthy at all. Does it
And he will never forgive you for that it seems I mean who would.

My advice leave him and work on yourself for a bit try and grow and mature a bit before starting another relationship

And another word of advice

Being in an of and on relationship is. Like going off road in a sled!
Bumpy and dangerous!

You both sound very young
So you are still learning

All the best

This whole relationship sounds dysfunctional and I think you're better off on your own. I can't see any of this getting any better with time.

Take control of your life & decisions.

Its one thing to need a place to live.

But never "need" a boyfriend.

Things sucked living there, you split. Screwed your new roommate. Now you're are crying about it.

If I were him, I would have never taken you back.

Get my point? Stop being needy.

Time to act like an adult. Start taking control of your actions.

I'll bet nothings changed at his house. Still bad, his Mom still disapproves.

I don't blame her.

Things will be better if you move on. For you & him.

wow. Can none of you read?
@vanheart where did I say I "needed" a boyfriend? Living with my boyfriend is wonderful and always has been. The only down fall is his crazy landlady/mother. Where do you see that I'm releying on guys to make me happy/comfortable? I didn't even tell you how my relationship started and my roommate and I didn't have a "relationship", so how exatly did I start "both" of them for "wrong reasons"?

@truefaith where did I say an on and off relationship? Leave him? That's not working on the relationship, that's giving up. I wouldn't be asking for help if I gave up.

I don't know but I'm pretty I was asking a questions along the lines of how to help my boyfriend understand that what happened was not cheating and that he can trust me. Not hey you should tell me what you assumed by "reading in between the lines". If anyone would like to answer MY question please do so.. if your just going to write something random that you pull out of your *** please go somewhere else.

and thanks Kahani Punjab

Maybe it wasn't cheating, but what guy can accept a female who gets drunk and has casual sex with someone they don't have romantic feelings for? That's a lot to take in isn't it? Had he done the same wouldn't it bother you? Of course it would.

You want him to trust you? Then you have to behave better when you are not with him, and give him plenty of time and space to either get over what you have done, it was shocking to him, and decide for himself if you are worth all this drama with his family, worrying what you will do when you drink with this room mate again, or if at all he should trust you again.

That's a lot, and you better let him deal with it, or you will push him into protecting his hurt feelings. He feels cheated on, and it will take a lot of great behavior to forgive you, if he can. Only time will tell if his feelings are strong enough to overcome this obstacle.

I agree with Tal.

Your are in complete control of your actions.

Treat people as you wish to be treated.

That includes every decision you make. To stay, leave, cheat, whatever.

Healthy relationships are built on trust, and committed couples work through whatever problems. If they are, in fact BOTH invested.

Time to think about what exactly it is you want. Him too.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by badjuju

wow. can none of you read?

---

I can read and I still say it sounds dysfunctional.

Anyway, jumping on people for trying to answer your question doesn't make anyone too willing to try to help.

Out of all honesty,

You knew what you were getting into & stayed.
Got with someone that hasn't cut the cord yet. Makes excuses.

Sounds like you already know the deal. Have for a while.

If he isn't committed, then split.
No sense in prolonging, wondering how he feels about you hooking up after.

Getting back with him. Going through the same thing, over & over..
Why did you get back?

It depends on the guy. If you had done that to me, that would have been game over and I would make sure that there was no way you could get in contact with me, and if you managed to do so I would ignore you. However, if he is willing to, all you can do is be truthworthy and give it time, there is no magic pill to fix such a break in trust. And trust, is one of the things that is very difficult to gain, think how difficult it is to REgain. Remember, you made your bed, now you are having to sleep on it. If things don't come out the way you are wanting them to, learn from this.

@mmresd While I was living with my room mate. My boyfriend(who I wasn't with while living with the roommate) txtd me, called me,email me, Facebook me and xbox me several times a day. And then we both walked over 4 miles each to meet up with each other, right before we got back together. We spend 5 or more days of the week together each week. So what I'm getting at is that he did the complete opposite that you would have done.

He loves me very much so. When we got back together it was half way through August. It seems like he is starting to come around. He has stopped bringing up my roommate into conversation as much as he was. And stopped bringing up that I hurt him. And has completely returned to being the lovely dovely, do ANYTHING for me guy, that he was before.

So this problem is solved right? That's good.