Me and my ex have been together now for 4yrs and I want out. I do not wish our relationship on no one. He is a wonderful individual but a lazy I do not want to work but lay in bed and smoke all day type of guy. He was not like that before and everything about him really just I HATE. I have been trying to kick him out now for about 5mths and he just won't go. I don't know what to do anymore. He has me so fustrated that I began to get physical with him. I have tried everything in the books. I have made take care of the girls while I go out on a date, I have guys call the house, I put him down every chance I get, but in the end all I end up doing is feeling bad. Well we finally agreed that he will not pay me rent and save up so that he could leave at the end of January but he ended up using all his money and now is depressed and crying cause he has nowhere to go and is kissing major as. So as usual I do not want to see him out on the streets so I let him stay another week and now another but I want him out so bad all he does is eat my food and make my house stink. What should I do to get him out. :mad:

You can't give into him. Tell him you have a life too, and it's really hard to have one with him holding you up. Say you don't want to see him living somewhere on the streets, but he just can't live here. Tell him to try rooming with a friend, or even resorting to his family members. Tell him how you truly feel and the next time he asks to stay "just another week," refuse him. There's no need to be aggressive though, if anything, you could move out, and tell him to keep the place if he wants to pay the rent by himself, because you're getting your own apartment. If you do that, don't let him have any idea of where it is. Hope this helps you some. =]

I really wish that it was that easy, you just don't understand when I have said I have tried everything. I said before that I have been trying to get him to get out now over 5mths well that is how long I have had my apartment. I asked him to help me move, he asked me if he could stay over since it was late I agreed and the next morning he had moved all his stuff in, funny huh! Well I have been trying to get him out since then. The apartment is mine it under my name so me moving out is not an option and he has no job so he can't afford it. His dad said he can not move in and his mother has a full house, his friends all have roommates so how I said the boy has given me an answer to every solution. I am just going to wait till this week is over and finally get him out, I hope. I just don't want to see him or anyone I know in the streets. I know he is going to sleep in his car right outside my apartment so that I can see him and feel bad for him. I really just don't know what to do. :confused:

I think I am grasping what you are saying. He is playing on your emotions and knows that you feel guilty knowing he has no place to go to. But, your sanity is on the line here. If you cannot just kick him out because you can't stand to see him sitting outside in his car or in need, just remember that he knows how to make you feel sorry for him. He knows you have a good heart and is using that to his advantage.

You do not have any legal responsibilities to him.

If you cannot kick him out, I do have a suggestion. I don't know if you will be willing to do this but I am going to put it out there anyway. He is acting like a leech, attaching himself to you and sucking all of your lifeblood out of you. So you must try to make his life as uncomfortable as possible. The objective here is to make him want to run and get as far away from you as possible.

First, if he is sleeping in your bedroom with you, get him out of there. If you have to put a lock on your bedroom doors during the daytime, then do it. Make him sleep on the couch in the living room or on the floor in an area that everyone uses. Do not allow him any privacy.

Next, pull out all of your cleaning supplies. Hand them to him and tell him that if he won't leave, then that is fine. But, since you are paying the rent and he refuses to get a paying job that will help you pay the bills, then he needs to earn his keep or his privileges will be taken away from him. You need to treat as a combination child/maid.

Every day, give him a list of chores to do. Cleaning the toilet and tub, cleaning the kitchen,. Make him do the same chores every day. If he cooks, give him a shopping list and tell him to cook dinner.

When you get home from work, if the chores aren't done (and they probably won't be), tell him his punishment is that he cannot eat dinner with you and your kids. Put a lock on the refrigerator and keep the key with you. Put a lock on the cabinets. All of these are easy enough to do. Get short thick chains and those master locks that need a key to open them. Keep the keys with you at all times. Whenever he doesn't do what you want, you take away something. Take the TV and lock it in your bedroom during the day. Take away his pillow and blanket at night.

You need to make him feel as if he is in prison. Whenever he complains, tell him that you are sorry but you explained the rules to him up front. If he doesn't like it, then you are not keeping him there. The minute he finally leaves with all his stuff, change the locks on your apartment door.

There is a lot more you can do here but I think you get where I am going with this. Be creative.

If you choose not to do any of the things that we, or any of your friends, have already suggested, then you will never get rid of him. Accept the fact that you have taken on the responsibility of an additional child and date other people. Maybe eventually you will meet someone you really like, someone that is a responsible man, and will help you to get rid of this guy.

Good luck! :)

I suggest you move with no forwarding address to him. If you want it to end that much, then you become willing to do what it takes. I think its going to take something like that. Sometimes life requires us to take care of ourselves at what seems like the expense of another person. In reality its asking us to give them consequences for their actions the same as we would get if we were doing what they are doing. Don't delude yourself, you have the means to solve this without his cooperation. Its never easy to do but then its not supposed to be either, its only supposed to be doable.