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-   -   Does she really love me? Why don't we talk as much anymore? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=602747)

  • Oct 10, 2011, 08:20 PM
    Orca2040
    Does she really love me? Why don't we talk as much anymore?
    Ok, so I met this girl around 3 years ago and the first year she ended up becoming my best friend, and I her's. We would talk all the time, I would always be texting her and she'd text back. We don't go to the same school due to living in different towns/cities but still live very close. Ever since high school, she got accepted into a magnet school 2 years ago it seems we talk a lot less.

    We've both confessed to loving each other a heck of a lot. We hug and cuddle, but that's when we get to see each other and if it's not during church, which is really the only time I get to see her every week. We hardly get the time to hang out. She had her cell phone taken away for a long time due to parents not being able to pay for it but recently got it back. We use to text all night long but now we hardly ever talk. She no longer goes on the computer to talk to me, and sometimes seems to just ignore her phone. Though we both admit to loving each other even more. We both pretty much know everything about each other, yet she doesn't want to date till after high school.

    We've both pretty much told each other that we're the only one for each other and I really do feel that way about her, I'd never want to be with anyone else. But, she's one of those girls who will hug everyone around her and this weekend while with our church on a trip it seemed she would hug everybody except me. I became majorly depressed about this but it just seems every time I doubt her I'll just become reassured some how, whether its us cuddling or plainly holding hands.

    I just feel so confused about it all, I don't know what to think, I love her so much but I just feel like she's pulling me in 1 foot then pushing me away 2, over and over again.
  • Oct 10, 2011, 10:53 PM
    Rhyme4NoReason
    If she told you that she doesn't want a boyfriend till after high school, then why not
    Understand that and respect that? Loving someone also means to respect
    Their decisions even though it hurts.

    And if you feel she is being wishy-washy with her feelings, then let her know
    That you don't want to be on that rollercoaster with her.

    But then again, you're not being a good friend.

    Give her the respect that you would want in return. Respect her wishes and
    In the end she will respect yours.
  • Oct 11, 2011, 04:12 AM
    Orca2040
    I respect that she doesn't want an official relationship, I guess I never made it clear here but I am very willing to wait especially through the peace of mind that she won't be dating anyone else anyway. The thing is, is that we're just so close but we don't talk as much anymore and I miss that, I love talking to her more than anyone else.
  • Oct 13, 2011, 08:00 AM
    slico79
    She's confused. She might be in love with you but other priorities are keeping her from acting on it, like for example her studies and family. Have a serious talk with her, tell her how much you love her and how it pains you the way she's treating you now. Ask her if she has other priorities that needs to be sorted out first before she could be ready to be in a relationship.

    If she needs time to answer you then give her time. Let her think things through and don't rush her.
  • Oct 14, 2011, 04:43 PM
    talaniman
    Some times life gets in the way of love and romance, and since you both are very young, you cannot control what you want to happen some times.

    Enjoy what you do have and appreciate the times you can share for now, until you can control the time you spend.
  • Oct 14, 2011, 07:02 PM
    Homegirl 50
    You two are not dating and are navigating the teen years.
    There may or may not be a future. You need to go on as an unattached person and just enjoy the friendship with her.
  • Oct 17, 2011, 05:03 AM
    Orca2040
    Why do we talk less and less..
    So I met my best friend around 3 or so years ago at my churches youth group. After they had a Christmas party we both got in contact with Facebook. We would always talk there, afterschool I would go straight on just to talk to her. We even started texting each other all night and I finally admitted that I liked her and she said she had mutual feelings. Ever since high school it seems we just keep talking less and less, she stopped going on Facebook and her cell service was cancelled for awhile due to her father not paying the bills. We would either I'm very little on Facebook or contact through email. We only see each other once a week at youth group since we go to different schools. Last summer she went off to summer camp as staff and we had little to no communication for 2 months but what we did get out was how much we loved each other and how we always want to be with each other. So after summer camp I had gone off on a cruise and just when that happened she had just gotten her cell service back after about a year and a half of no cell phone. We started texting a lot again, we would also say goodmorning and goodnight to each other everyday. But we no longer texted all night like we use to. Now she texts me less and less each day, she's even completely stop saying goodmorning and goodnight which is actually something she started. She's a busy person but would usually have the time for even that and she says she's grown to dislike I'm since it's so impersonal but how does she expect we communicate if we only see each other once a week? I would go over her house but my parents don't let my walk on the mainstreet and work everyday till 6
  • Oct 17, 2011, 01:49 PM
    talaniman
    Your threads have been merged together since its basically the same questions.

    I think you are going to have to face the fact that YOU are feeling more than she is and are expecting more than she is willing to give. I think she has other priorities, and frankly you should have other things in your life besides her. This is a friendship of sorts, not the kind you have each others total commitment and dedication to, but a sometimes thing when there is time.

    YOU want more than she does from this, and you had better start respecting that before you make a complete pest of yourself, and destroy any good feelings she may have for you.

    Come on, you have becomes so obsessed, and upset, you are not adjusting to the changes correctly.

    Back off and let this go.

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