I am going through all these emotions after finding out my boyfriend was masturbating to porn nearly every day our whole relationship. Does it get better? What have other people experienced, can you forgive and feel good about yourself? Some days I want to pack up and leave, other days I want to work it out. He stopped 2 months ago and still is not real interested in me. He has an iPhone with Internet on it; he says he does not need help and just won't do it anymore. I don't think he can just quit. I just want to know what others have gone through and their feelings about it.

I've read about this recently that it is actually very hard to get rid of that "hobby". And people who like it that much lose the sense of reality and they cannot see their partner in a normal way (unless you have a perfect body and can do "it" 10 times a day in all positions and practise all sort of games). Porn is not real, it does not depict reality, it brings money to its creators, that's all. If your boyfriend is crazy about porn more than he is crazy about you, you should decide for yourself whether you need such a partner. On the other hand, one of my friends has the husband who also likes watching porn but my friend feels OK about that. I was shocked when she said that to me but to her it's nothing special: "I am all right with it because I don't have to please him when I don't feel like it". If you can apply this approach to yourself, maybe you and he will be fine. Good luck!

Ladies , I beg to differ.

Unless a person is consumed by it to the point it is affecting their daily life the biggest problem with porn is that like you, you do not understand the male perspective that porn is porn and we realize it is entertainment and not a substitute for a partner or particular fantasy.

The man does not expect any more than what is normal in your relationship and most likely would not want you acting like the women do in those movies. Porn is not a substitute for you. It is entertainment.

Almost all men will watch porn and masturbate. It is more of a hobby than a sexual outlet and not taken seriously by most.
A man is more stimulated by visual aspects of the senses and that makes porn attractive to them.
Women who generally are stimulated more by the emotional closeness usually will misunderstand the visual stimulation and relate it somehow to being a substitute for them when it is not.
Porn and masturbating daily is not necessarily excessive , that depends on the individual and the factors of health both physical and emotional . Normal is what is normal for each individual and varies greatly.

My feeling about the people who are pushing the "addicted to porn" aspect is they are investing in clinics that will cater to these "addicts" like the 12 step programs for alcohol , drugs, nicotine , prescribed drugs,( and the list goes on) that bring billions in profits and next to nothing in the way of success.
Dollar signs are flashing in their eyes for the "epidemic" about to make many people a lot of money.

Reality and research tell us that the same success rate of about 2% or less is achieved by those who quit cold turkey on their own.
If the absolute truth were known regarding the number of men who watch porn and masturbate many people (mostly women) would be shocked beyond measure. 80 to 90 percent is estimated when factoring in the ones who are "less than honest" about it.

Communicate with him about it. Try to understand his feelings and make yours understood while remembering this is not a black and white , right or wrong situation. It is that you do not understand each others perspective reasoning and disagree about what porn is and the effect it has on an individual.

An open mind , some serious research you might even do together on the subject and communication with each other (the more the merrier)
Could save you some dismal and depressing times in your future .

Knowledge is power.

Martinizing,
Thank you for your imput, although I strongly disagree. Porn is not okay. Be single if you want to sit and masterbate to other women. How is that really different from cheating? You are getting off on another person. It is disrespectful to the woman you are with. When it comes to the point where you are ignoring your family and instead of being with your partner you get off on a computer, that is a problem. I have researched it a great deal and it is a serious problem in this country today. You think it is okay to look at porn everyday? Do you realize what that does to a person over time? They loose all sense of reality and that is all they want and the only way they want to get off. How would guys like it if us women masterbated constantly to other naked men and ignored you and denied you when you tried to get close? It does not feel very good at all. It is like any other addiction and people need help for it.

Hi Winkshine,


There is nothing wrong with porn and many couples find it helps their sex life,many will sit together and read or watch porn as the norm'.

Porn is mainly a guy thing, they've all indulged in their lives in one way or another,having said that I know women who have also, it's no big deal.

Men masturbate,women masturbate,again that's what happens, again it's not unusual.

Even if people are in a relationship they still masturbate, this is not ab-normal.the fact that you obviously don't and he does is what you find disgusting,He has you why would he need to do this,I can hear you say.Perhaps he has a higher sex drive than you or maybe he does it because he feels the need... why don't you ask him out right what he gets from masturbating,instead of sex from you.

There is no point in asking him to stop,he's doing what any normal man /women does.

Perhaps you need to question things in the bedroom department:spice things up,negligée,perfume etc... I am sure if you could sort your sexual problems out he would gradually use less and less porn... probelm solved.