I cheated on my boyfriend of 9 months and consumed with guilt and shame I came clean, I cheated on him with one of my close friends while I was drunk, at the time my boyfriend and I were going through a difficult time. He had broken up with me several times in the relationship and leading up to me cheating within a period of a month he broke up with me 3 times.

The reason why it was such a difficult relationship was that he admitted he was in love/infatuated with another girl which damaged my confidence and self-esteem, which I think was the main reason why I cheated I felt inadequate and unappreciated. He also use to sexually demean me, I'm not going to go into specifics because there so humiliating, he said he enjoyed embarrassing and demeaning me. But I let him do them things because I loved him, but it did make me feel disrespected. And when we used to go out, while I was present he would chat up other girls. He even suggested at one point to have a threesome with another girl.

But I still can't forgive myself for what I did, a few weeks before he admitted to cheating on me with another girl months ago but I forgave him, he told me he did that because he felt he had no respect for me because of my low self-esteem, I do deeply care about him and we get on really well, we always have a good time together, I don't expect him to fully forgive me and things to go back to the way we were, but do you think he will forgive me and we could at least be friends.

He's really hurt by what I've done, and I hate myself for what I did. I'm finding it hard to forgive myself, I've even contemplated suicide, because after I cheated he was trying really hard to make it work but he still didn't know, I felt so guilty that I told him and he broke up with me. I really don't know what I should do. I don't want it to end like this, I'm an honest person and care about him.

Do you think he will ever forgive me? If you were in his situation would you forgive me?

You should give it some time. You need to keep trying to prove it to him that you truly are sorry. Don't consider suicide that won't solve anything. He obviously loves you otherwise he wouldn't be acting this way. It may just take a while for him to forgive you. He will probably remember that you forgave him, but it will still take some time for him to forgive you. Work to get back into his good books

You can have all the love in the world, but it can still be unhealthy. I think you do better forgiving yourself, and getting your confidence and self esteem back, after you have left this unhealthy, ABUSIVE relationship. He is very slowly but steadily destroying you as a person.

Sorry, but he controls and manipulates you into thinking its all your fault, when he has been doing worse, and will get even worser if you stay.

No he will not forgive you until you have suffered a lot more abuse from him. This isn't love, nor is it healthy.

Try being single for a while.

He doesn't really want you, you don't really want him.

Figure out what it is you want before getting into a relationship.

This one isn't working. He's an abuser.

There wasn't one good thing in your post. All bad.

There's no reason to love & care about him. Hes treated you like crap. A manipulator.
You're already paying for your mistakes. But will pay 10 fold if you continue w/him.

Like Tal said, forgive yourself.

Enough is enough, Hanryan!

You keep the guts. Every person in the world is whole, perfect and complete. Do not lose your self-esteem and do not run after him. Do not be possessive. The world is very big and vast. No doubt, for the time being, your infatuation is heavy on you, but -remember - time is a great healer.

And, forget him. HE is not for you, nor are you for him. He deserves what you did to him. Let him feel the fruit of what he did to you, and wait and watch him, at least to see whether he comes back to you or not, and still, if he comes, DECIDE with all your mind, and not heart.

I still feel so bad though, I only cheated because of how he disrespected me and put me down but it wasn't the right thing to do. After I cheated and he didn't know, he was trying so hard to make the relationship work for the first time he was being good to me as if he was beginning to realize he had been taking me for granted the whole time, but I couldn't go on lying when he was actually trying to do the right thing, it couldn't of happened at the worst possible moment. I keep thinking if I didn't cheat our relationship would have improved.

Maybe you are right, maybe things would have gotten better. But the fact you ignore is how you felt when you cheated, and WHY you chose cheating as a way to feel better, or get revenge or whatever the purpose was.

Now you are blaming yourself instead of improving yourself, and yet again are putting being with him before making YOURSELF happy in a clean mature adult way.

Yet again you are letting your own feelings distract you, and stopping you from doing the right thing for yourself. You choose to bear the burden of pity and blame instead of stand for change.

Unfortunately, you will never deserve better, until you decide to do better for yourself. You tell that lying cheater of a boyfriend to get over himself, or get gone, and he has 5 minutes to decide before YOU are gone. Stand up for yourself, because he damned sure ain't. Demand more from yourself, and take no crap from him.

For a change put YOU first, before him, and before the relationship. I think if you do, you will see this self inflicted misery isn't worth it, and should be changed pretty damn quick.

Forgive your past stupidity, and do better, whether he does or not!

"Wondering what it's going to be like at home now that our dog has left us (in the literal sense, she walked out the door; but probably in the euphemistic sense now too)."

I just broke up with my boyfriend and it was a very bitter and difficult one. His brother just posted this on Facebook and I think he's insinuating that I'm a dog because I walked out the door, their dog died just a few days before we broke up, what would you think he means by this statement. Is it directed at me?

It is probably based towards you, but if you're not sure, then don't just assume it, I am not sure because I do not know the personalities of the man that posted this.

Stay off his Facebook, his friends and family's. Don't let them screw with your head.

"after i cheated and he didn't know, he was trying so hard to make the relationship work for the first time"
Listen to that. What you just said.

Like I said, maybe being single for a bit is in order.

"THE FIRST TIME" You've said that already.

Whattya think he's changed? Have you?

What is it you both want? Anyway?