We get on well, we enjoy each others company, we have problems but we sort them and move on. We have been together for 4 months, she is 22 and I am 19 ( in the UK so I am not a kid.) When we do have sex I am always the one to start it or suggest it she has only twice during our 4 months together suggested it or give me signs she wants it. We have sex like twice per week which and we don't enjoy it, she doesn't act sexy enough she doesn't put on make up or any clothes which look sexy and doesn't look confident.

We are fine outside of the bedroom and I know there is more to a relationship than sex but its always an important thing that we enjoy it. I am from England and she is from Taiwan and I'm wondering if its just more of a big deal to me than it is to her because maybe that's how it is in her country.

What can we do to make things better? We are too young to be having these problems

I'm 19 and have been with my current partner for four months also, so I'm familiar with the stage.

I wouldn't say you're too young to be having these problems, they can occur in any mature relationship.

Firstly, you need to speak with her about how you feel. But try to avoid the "You don't dress nice enough" approach, as she may feel that you simply don't think she's beautiful.

Tell her you love and lust her, and wish to show it more often. Buy her a sexy outfit, and tell her "I think you'd look great in this, would you like to give it a go?"

X Dani

LFC12

First relax, nothing to worry about. The main or the biggest reason of failure in any relationship is lack of communication, which always bridges the gaps, if any. I agree with DaniX, when he suggest you for buying a sexy (which looks so to you, atleast) outfit and jewellry. Moreover, get her a new, fresh and tempting haircut. Ask her for underarm shave and touch her there. Touch her 'down' there and try to feel and this will infuse a new freshness in your relationship. Tell her how you want to see her. Does not it help?

Make love to each others minds, and the bodies will follow. It is often through shared real life experiences, both good and bad that define us. So share each others experiences, and get understanding of your partner, so you can grow intimate, mentally, and spiritually.

Lack of sex is but a symptom of another area of the relationship that needs attention. I highly suggest you get on the same page through honest but patient communications, and don't make a big deal of her lack of interest, find out how she feels.

Great sex starts in the brain, NOT the bodies after lust has been replaced with love, and love means understanding, accepting, and giving freely. Don't make the mistake of being distracted by your own lust and expectations that you fail to know what's going on with your partner. Often we take lack of good sex as being a personal thing about us. That's when we miss something we need to know.

You probably don't even know her well enough to know her cycle, or what to do about it. Sometimes cycles conflict, and we have to be able to adjust to them, rather than react. That's the importance of getting your minds together, and having a healthy relationship. Just great sex, won't keep you together, nor will it help you build anything.

How do you know she doesn't enjoy it? Are you communicating with her or are you making assumptions based on your perceptions? If she has said she doesn't enjoy it have you asked her why she doesn't?

You aren't too young for issues to arise but the relationship is extremely new. You haven't had time to figure out how much you care about each other much less what your mutual turn ons are.

How long did you know her before you became a couple? How long after you became a couple did you start having sex? Does she show affection or intimacy at other times than in bed?

I am going to be honest that you seem to be looking at the outside package and not what is inside. Make-up and clothing do not portray confidence. A totally naked woman with absolutely no make-up on can be the most sexually confident woman there is. By the same token, a woman who wants more from a relationship than sex can seem very insecure no matter what she is wearing.

If she isn't acting 'sexy' according to you, it could be because she wants to wait on having sex but is afraid to say no (or say it very often) for fear you will walk away and find a more willing partner. By not dressing 'sexy' she may be trying to send you a message.

Talk with her. Learn what each other needs by sharing thoughts and fantasies. See where cultural differences and person concepts may be clashing. Remember that it isn't just what you need or desire but what she wants and needs, too.