When I was 19 I found out I was pregnant with my first son, 2 weeks later I married his father because my mom pushed us too. We have been married 4 years and its been a rough marriage because we are both very unhappy. We fight all the time and just cannot get along in front of our child. Last summer, we pretty much broke up but I had no where to go so O continued living in the house but I stayed busy as much as possible just to get away from him.

I ended up seeing my first "Love" who I was with previously 6years before, and it's a long history, anways I saw him last summer and I wound up pregnant. But at the same time, my husband was seeing someone else also. (husbands name is tommy) (love's name is adam) well, adam asked me to move in with my son I already has ( sons name is seth) but we were not going to be together. He just wanted to do the right thing and take care of me during the pregnancy of our unborn son who later was named alex. Well, I didn't want to do this because I was too comfterable living where I was and felt it wouldd be better to stay with my husband. So, that drove adam away to where he didn't want to take care of ethier of us, YES my husband was for me moving out. He gave me the option.

A couple of months later, adam returned and I was happy. Adam decided he wanted us to be a family, but under the circumstances, we kept our relationship a secret due to the holidays that were around the corner and decided after the holidays I would finally move in with him. But during the waiting period, me and him was fighting way too much and our fights were getting out of hand. The fighting continued for a couple of months until 1 month before he was born he left again and decided not to have anything to do with the baby.

So, when the baby was born, my husbands name was placed on the birth certificate because I guess by law if no one claims then he's persumed the father since we are legally married, He has also been supporting me the newborn. About 1 month after the baby was born, I realized that I was very unhappy. I realized that I was in a unhealthy relationship with my husband because neither one of us loved each other and we both felt like we were trapped. I was also realizing that I made a mistake by not being with adam when I had the chance, so I reached out to him, found out through the whole process he was looking for a good stable job, so he could be with his son, but was staying away until he was stable enough to provide for him. So, over the next month, HE saw alex 2-3 times. By the next month, me and him were working things out.

NOW, he lives in Arkansas. We live in Louisiana. He's in Arkansas for his job. We've successfully have kept our relationship going for 3 months now. We communicate better then ever and finally put our horrible past behind us. We very much love each other and BOTH took this last year as a big eye opener to see we are ready to be togethher and live together.

But here's the questions.
1. Can I leave my husband and move to Arkansas with OUR son, IF I plan to bring him back once a week for a couple of days for visatation?

2. What do I do about mine and adams son if I my husband is persumed the father? How can I go about getting his rights back the legal way?

3. Can I live with adam before my divorce?

4. What's the responsible way of doing this, and the legal way to move out and in with him in Arkansas with the 2 children which in 1 child is not his?

5. Could my marriage end in the 6 months mark if I plead adultery?

6. I'm so confused... what steps should I take?

First, Adam needs to file for paternity of Alex. Next, you need to file for divorce from Tommy.

You could move to be with Adam, but Tommy can either force you or just Seth (maybe Alex until paternity is awarded) to be returned to him.

Almost all states are no fault states now, so you don't need grounds for divorce. So your best bet is to file for divorce and, as part of the divorce settlement, seek full custody and the right to move.

How old are the children involved in this mess?

It sounds like you have run out of time for changing who the legal father is.

My oldest son is 3 and the youngest is 6 months old. I KNOW that he has 365 days to say the child isn't his (husband... && tommy works nights, so I don't see HOW he would be able to have the children returned to him. Because neither of us have family near us && where I'm moving in Arkansas my dad, Little bro and my grandparents live there. So the court would see I'll be near amediate family. Would that help me any? But if it comes down too it, I'd allow seth to live with his father instead of with me because I know it'd be the right thing for him. I'm going to move in with him. Then we will start the dna testing and all of that. But the moment I move, should paternity be the first thing we seek doing
?

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Originally Posted by jessielminor

1. Can I leave my husband and move to arkansas with OUR son, IF I plan to bring him back once a week for a couple of days for visatation?

2. What do I do about mine and adams son if I my husband is persumed the father? How can I go about getting his rights back the legal way?

3. Can I live with adam before my divorce?

4. What's the responsible way of doing this, and the legal way to move out and in with him in arkansas with the 2 children which in 1 child is not his?

5. Could my marriage end in the 6 months mark if I plead adultery?

6. I'm so confused....what steps should I take?

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1.No way. It may be viewed as parental kidnapping.
2.
Art. 185. Presumption of paternity of husband The husband of the mother is presumed to be the father of a child born during the marriage or within three hundred days from the date of the termination of the marriage.
Art. 191. Contestation and establishment of paternity by mother The mother of a child may institute an action to establish both that her former husband is not the father of the child and that her present husband is the father. This action may be instituted only if the present husband has acknowledged the child by authentic act or by signing the birth certificate.
Art. 192. Contestation action; proof The mother shall prove by clear and convincing evidence both that her former husband is not the father and that her present husband is the father. The testimony of the mother shall be corroborated by other evidence.
Art. 193. Contestation and establishment of paternity; time The action by the mother shall be instituted within a peremptive period of one hundred eighty days from the marriage to her present husband and also within two years from the day of the birth of the child, except as may otherwise be provided by law.
Art. 198. Father’s action to establish paternity; time A man may institute an action to establish his paternity of a child at any time except as provided in this Article. The action is strictly personal. If the child is presumed to be the child of another man, the action shall be instituted within one year from the day of the birth of the child.

3Probably yes.
4 You get divorce, and ask the judge to allow you to move out of La
5Adultery is the only way to get a divorce without having to wait at least six months. Assuming you can prove adultery occurred, you can have a judgment of divorce the first time you go to court. The problem is one of proof. You will need the supporting testimony of one or more witnesses as well as your own.
Fault:
A spouse to a covenant marriage may obtain a judgment of divorce only upon proof of any of the following: (1) The other spouse has committed adultery. (2) The other spouse has committed a felony and has been sentenced to death or imprisonment at hard labor. (3) The other spouse has abandoned the matrimonial domicile for a period of one year and constantly refuses to return. (4) The other spouse has physically or sexually abused the spouse seeking the divorce or a child of one of the spouses. (5) The spouses have been living separate and apart continuously without reconciliation for a period of two years. (6) The spouses have been living separate and apart continuously without reconciliation for a period of one year from the date the judgment of separation from bed and board was signed. (Louisiana Code of Civil Procedure - Article: 103)

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Originally Posted by jessielminor

my oldest son is 3 and the youngest is 6 months old. I KNOW that he has 365 days to say the child isn't his (husband... && tommy works nights, so I dont see HOW he would be able to have the children returned to him. bc neither of us have family near us && where im moving in arkansas my dad,. lil bro and my grandparents live there. So the court would see i'll be near amediate family. Would that help me any? But if it comes down too it, i'd allow seth to live with his father instead of with me bc i know it'd be the right thing for him. I'm gonna go ahead and move in with him. then we will start the dna testing and all of that. but the moment i move, should paternity be the first thing we seek doing
?

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Read what GV posted. As long as Tommy is the presumed father he can compel you, or at least the children, to return. If you want to challenge paternity, you have to marry Adam first. If he wants to challenge paternity, he has 6 more months to file. If you move first, you would probably have to wait 6 months to establish residence before you can go to AR courts. And then you would be subject to AR laws. At this point you would be subject to LA laws.

Apparently LA does have rules about Adultery, so you can use that to get a divorce faster. So it makes more sense to get your divorce, establish paternity and THEN move.

And yes, the fact that you have family in AR will be taken into account by the court. It may help.

All of this is confusing the hell out of me. First. Every lawyer I got a consultation from has clearly stated it will NOT be considered kidnapping. So I CAN MOVE. Okay peeps. Lets do it this way,

First step is I'm moving to Arkansas within the next month, What's the first step I should take after I move?

I agree it would not be kidnapping, unless you were to hide the children from Tommy.

However, I don't agree with you doing things AFTER moving. The key here is that I don't believe you can establish residence in Arkansas for at least 6 months. Meaning you can't do anything in AR courts until then. During that time, Tommy CAN file in LA courts to have you and/or the children returned to LA.

So you need to file for Divorce in LA, get your divorce completed before you move. As part of the process, you can file a challenge to paternity so Tommy has no control over the younger child.

See,if I left, he wouldn't ask for me to come back, that's what I'm thankful for. He also wouldn't go to a lawyer or call the cops because I know him and he'd rather handle things hisself, other wise, I'd do things that way. lawyers tell me I can move, but he could ask for the child to be returned. And he won't do that because he works nights and has no one to keep thm. So if he does more power to him because he will return the child back ti me after a couple of days lol

That is the choice and risk you have to take. You know him better than we do.

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Originally Posted by jessielminor

All of this is confusing the hell outta me. first. every lawyer i got a consultation from has clearly stated it will NOT be considered kidnapping. So I CAN MOVE. okay peeps. lets do it this way,

First step is I'm moving to arkansas within the next month, Whats the first step I should take after I move?

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The laws on parental kidnapping (also known as custodial interference) are different in each state. In some states, it may be against the law to take children out of state only if it violates a custody order or if there is an active custody case pending. In other states, the act of taking the children out of state itself may not be illegal unless the parent conceals (hides) the children from the other parent. Other factors that may be considered are whether the parents are married (and considered to have equal parental rights)
RS 14:45.1
§45.1. Interference with the custody of a child

A. Interference with the custody of a child is the intentional taking, enticing, or decoying away of a minor child by a parent not having a right of custody, with intent to detain or conceal such child from a parent having a right of custody pursuant to a court order or from a person entrusted with the care of the child by a parent having custody pursuant to a court order.

It shall be an affirmative defense that the offender reasonably believed his actions were necessary to protect the welfare of the child.

B. Whoever commits the crime of interference with the custody of a child shall be fined not more than five hundred dollars or be imprisoned for not more than six months, or both. Costs of returning a child to the jurisdiction of the court shall be assessed against any defendant convicted of a violation of this Section, as court costs as provided by the Louisiana Code of Criminal Procedure.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

If you move first, you would probably have to wait 6 months to establish residence before you can go to AR courts. And then you would be subject to AR laws. At this point you would be subject to LA laws.

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According to the Uniform Child-Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act Louisiana will remain the home state for all paternity and child custody proceedings.

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Originally Posted by GV70

...

§45.1.

"A. Interference with the custody of a child is the intentional taking, enticing, or decoying away of a minor child by a parent not having a right of custody, with intent to detain or conceal such child from a parent having a right of custody pursuant to a court order or from a person entrusted with the care of the child by a parent having custody pursuant to a court order."

...

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I don't see that this Louisiana statute would prohibit OP from taking either child to Arkansas. Tommy and OP both share cusodial rights.

Then, of course, she would have to wait six months in Arkansas to file for divorce and custody.

The only problem, really, involves establishing Adam's paternity of Alex. It is unclear how old Alex is.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GV70

"...Art. 193. Contestation and establishment of paternity; time period The action by the mother shall be instituted within a peremptive period of one hundred eighty days from the marriage to her present husband and also within two years from the day of the birth of the child, except as may otherwise be provided by law.
Art. 198. Father's action to establish paternity; time period A man may institute an action to establish his paternity of a child at any time except as provided in this Article. The action is strictly personal. If the child is presumed to be the child of another man, the action shall be instituted within one year from the day of the birth of the child."

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Adam might need to institute a separate action to do this. He might be able to file in Arkansas, or it might have to be done in the Louisiana court. He should do it before Alex's first birthday.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GV70

According to the Uniform Child-Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act Louisiana will remain the home state for all paternity and child custody proceedings.

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That depends. As I understand it, currently there is no litigation on custody or divorce. So, if the OP moves, waits until she establishes residence in AR and then files for divorce, AR will have jurisdiction. However, if Tommy starts any proceedings in LA before filings are made in AR, then LA will have jurisdiction.

As for 45.1, since they have equal rights at this point, I don't see this statute being applied.

OK. Like I said. My oldest child with my husband is 3, and my child outside of marriage is only 6 months. I'll be moving to Arkansas someetime in November. My husbands name is on both children's birth certificate. No custody or child support has been issued. Or even a divorce. Our plan was to move, we are getting an apartment in Arkansas, so we would have an address. Because we were going to live in a hotel until I found us one, but now we are going to get an apartment before I come. So we are going to do that. Then we are moving up. THEN we are going to establish paternity. Which means I'm sure baby daddy will have to come back here to do so right?

Our new questions are, how long would it take for my residence to be considered Arkansas? And once I move to Arkansas what state will we have to file all of this?

So after paternity, I'm going to file for custody of the boys, and get child support from my husband and work a custody agreement out. Then eventually file for divorce.

The order is wrong. First, the residency requirement is not as bad as I thought its only 60 days (Arkansas Divorce Source: Residency Requirements for Divorce: Arkansas).

What I'm not sure of is whether to file for paternity first or not. I would tend to suggest that you file for divorce first, you have to do that to obtain custody. Once you obtain custody, then you can see about challenging paternity since you may then be able to file in AR. Its also possible you can fold the paternity issue into the divorce.

I would strongly recommend consulting an AR attorney before you do anything.

But remember, if Tommy files in LA before you file in AR, then LA will have jurisdiction and he may be able to compel the children's return. So my advice is to divorce FIRST, then move.

Yeah but I can't divorce first. Ive got to move first. I don't have a choice.

Yeah you do. You may not think you do or you may feel its your best choice, but you do have choices.