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-   -   Why can't I just get over it... let go... (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=601339)

  • Oct 5, 2011, 08:47 PM
    chrisinuae
    Why can't I just get over it... let go...
    I was with a guy who broke up with me well over a year ago... still I pine for him. Everything reminds me of him, I miss him terribly. Thing is, he was really good to me, affectionate, and so caring. I'd spend time in hospital,for dehydration at times,and he'd be there every minute, had dizziness, had to get cAT scans, he was holding my hand throughout... he would cook for me, always made sure that I was taking care of myself, massage me with oil on Fridays (he's Indian, they have these kinds of "rituals") and on and on, he always said he'd be with me forever, and well, although we had our issues,I never thought he'd leave the way he did. He'd started telling me about this woman, Jennifer (yes, I even know her name:(, said we'd get along really well, as we were both Canadian, and iknow at the time he wanted me to meet more people, I live in the UAE,so, not real easy to form friendships, anyhow, at his work he always met people, so I didn't think much of it, although I did get annoyed once and told hm, thanks, I can find my own friends and sure don't need you to help me get "female friends", so on it went,he was going to start working in Dubai, so was travelling back and forth from my place in Abu dhabi to there, very early in mrong and he'd not get home until 9 at night, I know he was going through stresses from his job... well, then we decided he'd stay in Dubai during the week with a few men who also worked for same company, last time I saw him one on a Wed moring... he left for work, I was texting him as normal, "he baby, all will be ok, etc"... but this time I wasn't hearing anything back... I thought the guy was dead as there are fatal car accidents every day. Well, Friday came, and I sent him a message that my friend from Zurich and her boyfriend would be in Dubai fr the wkend, he msgd me, am busy and always will be, well, I thought OK, stress, so I msgd, called, emailed never to hear from him again! Then I found out he was seeing this jennifer one, that he'd been with her 2 short weeks after he'd left my home... saw pics of them together at holiday inn dubai, my heart was shattered... all his things, clothing,etc, all in my home, wasn't until 2 mnths later, he picked it up outside my door, I didn't see him, but through the peephole, I was physically ill, in any case months later, I'd heard they weren'ttogether anymore(if true or not) and he'd accepted an invitation to join me on netlog, an invitation I'd not even remembered sending as it was when we were together and I never used Netlog... I noticed he was always looking at my profile,and pics... and until now, he still does, and he's even begun commenting on my pics... nothing like, I look good or anything, just random messages, I mean,I know it's been a while, but why does he do it? And well, if I were to PHONE him, he's not anser the phone... there'slots more but am boring enough already, thoughts?
  • Oct 5, 2011, 09:27 PM
    JoshNichols
    Have you been with anyone else since him? Maybe you need to start dating again. The question you need to ask yourself is, can you really forgive him for what he did? Can you continue to go on feeling bad every time you think of him? Maybe its time to move on and be happy again, whether its on your own or with someone else, that doesn't matter.

  • Oct 5, 2011, 10:29 PM
    Charlie0x
    I don't think he is trying to win you back or anything like that. He probably just misses you and wants to be friends again, or just trying to talk to you a little more kind of like an apology. Think about everything that happened between the two of you. Any major fights or anything? Flaws about yourself he might have been unable to live with? Well whatever the case is he does not feel interested in you anymore and hasn't for quite some time. I suggest, as Josh did, to try to talk to more people, maybe get involved in a new relationship but don't rush into anything you don't feel comfortable with. Let yourself be happy. It is not easy to get someone off your mind but the more you practice the easier it gets, like anything. Let him talk to you and maybe, eventually, ask him why he left and why he hooked up with that Jen girl so quickly afterwords. This is going to sound cheesy but look into yourself and try to see why he wasn't feeling the relationship like you were. You cannot get over him because you truly were in love with him. Love, true love, is very hard, if not impossible, to overcome. Do you have any friends that the two of you share? You could ask them if they know anything about what he was feeling when he left. Really the only thing you have to remember is this is your life and do you want to spend it pining after an ex boyfriend? Let yourself live again and maybe one day you will truly the forget and one day, I am positive, you will be able to move on. Sorry I am not more help.
    Charlotte.
  • Oct 6, 2011, 03:29 AM
    DaniCalifornia
    You also need to stop thinking he was so good to you. He broke up with you and hurt you, keep your mind on that. You spent a lot of time telling us how he's NOT right for you. You've convinced me, convince yourself too!

    At best, you can PRETEND not to care that he's hurt you. Get on with your own life and forget this fool.

    And technically, he was cheating on you.

    X Dani
  • Oct 7, 2011, 12:43 AM
    chrisinuae
    Thanks! I appreciate all the answers, and you're all right, time to move on. It's so hard out there,men I've met are just playing around. Especially living here in the UAE,not easy to meet good men.And yes, also, as hard as it is,I've got to look inside myself... although,no one deserves to be left high and dry. It was cowardly of him to say the least. I also think I do need to somehow meet him face to face and who knows, maybe that's just what I need to move on, look him in the face and see the reality. Thanks again guys!

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