I'm 20 years old. I've been living with my mother ever since, and I barely leave my room. I spend most of my day on the internet, crying, and sleeping. I lost my job, I don't have a permit, I honestly don't have a single friend, I suffer from social anxiety disorder, and depression. I've wasted so much time doing nothing, and everyone in my neighborhood thinks I'm crazy. The only thing that's helped me in the past with my depression was marijuana (im not kidding), but my mother freaks out as soon as I mention it... My mother is broke, so she cannot afford a psychiatrist or medication for me. I'm just sick of people telling me how much of a failure I am. I've been trying to look for a job for months now, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to make it past the interview due to my social anxiety. I swear, its like these interviews were designed strictly for extroverts... its ridiculous. I can handle an office job without having the best social skills -.- anyway, I just need some light in my life. I think about killing myself very often, and attempted to do so about 2 weeks ago by overdosing on a bunch of over the counter pills. I just woke up sick, and dizzy... and its impaired my ability to read and write properly. I am not allowed to smoke despite that it's the only thing that has actually worked. I've tried medication, but it just turns me into a zombie. I want to live without having to cry on a daily basis. Could anyone help?
