I was in a loving relationship for 4 yrs, we have grown a lot, in love, in maturity, I can tell he loves me, then one day this girl he claims is his friend told me she loves him and they have been seeing each other for over a year. At first he denied it, then he admitted it. Said he is sorry for hurting me and will take any punishment I decide, even if I decided to end the relationship. He will go to the ends of the earth for me and he has. He hates her for what she has done and wants nothing to do with her. Should I take him back?

He cheated for a year and the only way you found out was she spilled the beans. Of course he hates her for exposing him, and making you mad.

I think you leave him alone for a while and see what he does next, because if you don't he may think he got away with something.

Take your time and think hard on this one. You may forgive, but I doubt you forget, ever.

You are giving him more credit than he deserves. He can say whatever he wants, probably told her the same stuff he told you.

He carried on with someone else for a year, while you thought differently.

"He will go to the ends of the earth for me"
Yeah right. He should have thought of that before.

That isn't someone to be with.

Make the decision for him. Split.

Go NC. Never talk to him again.

I think you need to set your boundaries and what you will accept in a relationship.

If you take him back, you are setting the ground rules in the relationship, i.e. accepting his past conduct. It wasn't a drunken escapade, but a course of conduct over a long period that required a lot of deciet. What wasn't he getting from you that he needed elsewhere?

If your partner wants to be polyamorous, you need to decide if this is acceptable to you before you take him back.

If you take him back, you will forever be paranoid about him doing it again. The trust you once had will never be the same. A year is a rather long time to be cheated on, and it will be on your mind forever if you stay with him. The damage has been done, move on to someone who deserves you.

He says he would go to the ends of the earth for you? The last time I checked, the ends of the earth didn't mean another girl's bed...