Ask Me Help Desk - Disrepectful nasty 22 year old?

My 22 college daughter who lives at home is very disrespectful towards me. She works 4 times a month as a banquet server and claims to make good money. She bought her books for school this year and pays for her cell phone.I pay the car insurance, utilities and groceries for her out of the 75$ I ask her to give per month so you know every thing else is out of my pocket. I took out a PP Loan so she could live in a dorm her sopomore year at school out of state. I'm not asking for anything more from her. She and I have had a very volotile relationship for years which was out of hand for quite sometime. She asked to come back home and finish her tenure in state. Fine by me but I want the respect I deserve as her parent. The dad isn't in the picture except as a shoulder for her when she and I argue and we argue when she becomes nasty and disrespectful which happens for little or no reason and out of the blue. I'm sick of it. Its as if there is a blip in her personality and I want her out. I've told her so and she won't leave. Is there a legal recourse I have?

Its called eviction...

You have to have her served in writing, she has to be treated just the same as any other renter or tenant (she is legally a tenant) that's on a month to month lease would be. She is given 30 days to leave... at which time you go to court and have the sherrifs put her and her stuff out on the curb... at THAT point, you can change the locks.

It sounds harsh, but if she is going to be a PITA, then she can be a completely self supporting PITA with her own place.

Perhaps a healthy dose of reality (like you want to be this way, then find your own place and pay for it yourself) will wake her up to the reality of her actions...

Quote:

Originally Posted by garden23

My 22 college daughter who lives at home is very disrespectful towards me. She works 4 times a month as a banquet server and claims to make good money. She bought her books for school this year and pays for her cell phone.I pay the car insurance, utilities and groceries for her out of the 75$ I ask her to give per month so you know every thing else is out of my pocket. I took out a PP Loan so she could live in a dorm her sopomore year at school out of state. I'm not asking for anything more from her. She and I have had a very volotile relationship for years which was out of hand for quite sometime. She asked to come back home and finish her tenure in state. Fine by me but I want the respect I deserve as her parent. The dad isn't in the picture except as a shoulder for her when she and I argue and we argue when she becomes nasty and disrespectful which happens for little or no reason and out of the blue. I'm sick of it. Its as if there is a blip in her personality and I want her out. I've told her so and she won't leave. Is there a legal recourse I have?

Why not tell her to go live with Dad instead of you?

Also, if you do decide to do an eviction, be sure the Judge signs an Order of Removal as well as the Order of Eviction. Very important because even with a signed Eviction Order the cops cannot do anything unless there is the Order of Removal for them to legally act on. And no, the Sherrif's Department are not in the moving business but they will stand there and watch while you or your moving company literally takes her stuff to the curb under the Order of Removal.

Evict her according to State law, exactly the same way you would evict a non-relative tenant.

I'm sure the disrespectful attitude is nothing new. She's gotten away with it for 22 years. Time to stop her in her tracks before you're bankrupt.

You pay insurance on HER car OR you share a car and you pay the insurance? I'd end that free ride very quickly.

I pay her car insurance and she pays her cell. I think we should help our kids when they are going to school full time. She pays 75$ a month. This goes towars utilities and groceries.Not much but I want her to finish school and of course after threatening to kick her out she throws that in my face... now she has left for the evening... no good byes or letting me know where she is going...

I'd lay down the law that either the disrespect comes to an abrupt and complete end... or the free ride ends just as suddenly.

You really have no other leverage.

You HAVE to lay down the law... stick to it, or let her continue her behavior.

If she has an ounce of common sense... she'll take the last chance you would have offered her then further action won't be needed.

You have to make it clear in no uncertain terms... YOUR house, YOUR rules.

Quote:

Originally Posted by garden23

i pay her car insurance and she pays her cell. I think we should help our kids when they are going to school full time. She pays 75$ a month. this goes towars utilities and groceries.Not much but I want her to finish school and of course after threatening to kick her out she throws that in my face...now she has left for the evening...no good byes or letting me know where she is going...

You have two choices - stand up to her (full time student or not) and stop enabling her OR do nothing and live with the disrespect.

You can't criticize her attitude toward you... and then defend her. It's confusing to everyone - probably her, too.

You can't have it both ways.

Quote:

Originally Posted by garden23

i pay her car insurance and she pays her cell. I think we should help our kids when they are going to school full time. She pays 75$ a month. this goes towars utilities and groceries.Not much but I want her to finish school and of course after threatening to kick her out she throws that in my face...now she has left for the evening...no good byes or letting me know where she is going...

You've answered your own question when you said "I think we should help our kids when they are going to school full time." Only paying $75 a month is not helping her with any kind of respect for you, for money, for the cost of living in this world. Just her paying her own cell bill is wonderful and all, but compared to the free car and free car insurance it does not even come close. Most kids do not have such stuff handed to them ever. You'll probably keep dishing out the money towards your ungrateful kid until you wise up or go broke. Her attitude will not change, sorry. You have put up with her nastyness for way too long and she has you conditioned to this as well. You complain to us about her but will probably not do anything in the future to halt her behavior.

Dear Garden - She is "of age" - she needs to go on down the road!! Would you let anyone else speak to you that way? Probably not. Let he know that you are working with the Courts to have her evicted. If you don't address this now it will only get worse.

Please see my note regarding your earlier post on a similar subject. This one is years old too.