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-   -   My situation is very confusing, any advice may help. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=600784)

  • Oct 3, 2011, 09:26 PM
    azcat87
    My situation is very confusing, any advice may help.
    So this summer I was in a two month relationship. I believe it was going well it wasn't perfect I admit. We spend time with each other when we had days off from work or I would spend the night at her apartment. We talked on the phone text you know the norm.

    One day we end up going out playing a sport at the park drank we drank a few beers. We head back to her apartment we talk for an hour or two. She ends up telling me to stay the night, nothing unusual. We fool around for half an hour. So she ends up taking ambien (sleeping meds) she tells me and I already know "after 15 min leave me alone because they kick in" I said OK. So 15 minutes pass and I stop fooling around with her. She ends up looking for her favorite porn star on her phone and she keeps going by herself for about an hour. Her phone dies and takes my phone continues to look at porn I asked her a few times stop and go to bed but she didn't listen.

    I kept asking her if she was OK and if she was sure. She attacks me (fooling around) and I didn't know what do other than not have intercourse because we ran out of condoms days before. She finally ends up tired and goes to bed which the time spent doing it was about 1:30.

    So next morning I end up telling her on what happened. She tells me she didn't remember anything which was ****ing scary because I love this girl. It never happen before this happened. Weird thing is I took some of her pills and I could remember everything that happened.

    She ends up not talking to me for a week, she text me she wants to be with me but that we need more time to get to know each other outside of her apartment because she didn't trust me with her "positions and her". I agreed with her, after a week or two she stopped texting the calls stopped the invites stop.

    Me being a man I end up doing stupid stuff like writing her a letter sending her texts. She ends up breaking up with me one more time. She tells me " I don't know what to say to you..I love you but I can't date you. I don't what to cut you out of my life I still want to see you and talk to you and know what going on in your life but as friends... She ending up sending me last email through FB saying "I love you and I will cherish the time we had, however I'm no longer in love with you, also" you can contact me through FB as friends only..

    I didn't answer to her for a couple of days and she deleted her FB an made a new one. Last time I tried to contact to her she didn't text back and obviously deleted my number because she didn't know who it was.

    I love her but I don't know if I should continue to pursue her, its been about almost month of no contact and I haven't seen her in two months.

    I don't know what to do.. well if you have any questions just ask.
  • Oct 3, 2011, 10:52 PM
    talaniman
    This summer fling is over, and leaving her alone is what you do.

    I think you already know that.
  • Oct 4, 2011, 03:33 PM
    azcat87
    I hope your right man, thanks.
  • Oct 7, 2011, 05:11 AM
    slico79
    The girl obviously got issues man. If you love her and genuinely wants to help her then find a way to talk to her. Tell her everything you feel about her.
  • Oct 25, 2011, 03:41 PM
    azcat87
    I finally get myself out of the emotional state I was in. I decided yesterday to test the water try to communicate, worst idea ever I ended up calling her twice no answer I left a message saying " she popped into my head and it would be nice to hear from her". I ended up driving to her house and we have a few words. I get a txt from her after 20min or so telling me "txt me, call me, or show up to my apt one more time and there will be consequences its been two months I thought it was clear by my lack of response I dnt want contact". I reply to her txt and I pretty much say "ok, sorry..you hate me and I was a mistake for you.showing up and calling was my wrong. Now knowing you want nothing to do with me. Will do. Just want to let you know I have not stop caring about you even though it seemed like I did. I hope everything turns out good for you. Last txt".
    She sends another txt saying " your so full of sh*t acting like the victim ive told you multiple times not to come over I have not responded to your txt, and calls so there should be no confusion which means Ur"my bad" excuse is getting old you can't use that whenever you want to ignore what someone has said. The end so not respond to this, this is the last correspondence I expect to have with you".
    I end up txting one more time " I was not going to say anything after the last txt I sent..ok, I'm not the victim and yes I did try contacting a few times after the break up to see how you were. The reason I said you hate me and I was a mistake for you because it seemed like one day I was sh*t to you. I don't expect you to respond back and this is last txt".

    Well I guess this is last time I write about her, I loved her for the time being and cared for her with a genuine heart, it may not sound like I move on during the time of no contact but my curiosity over road took control. If I would have known that she actually didn't want anything to with me. I would have never attempted or pumped myself up to go see her. I made this mistake I have learned from it. I will have no reggret on trying one last time.

    This sucks. I guess she's right I don't listen. Lame
  • Oct 25, 2011, 04:53 PM
    mmresd
    Don't communicate, it is over, move on.
  • Oct 25, 2011, 08:36 PM
    azcat87
    I fully understand its for the best for both of us, thanks for the advice and I will take it to heart this time with out a doubt.
    I have had a few girls that have been following me and been waiting for me to make a move, I believe its time.
    This site is great and I thank the Internet gods for letting me find it.
  • Oct 26, 2011, 08:45 AM
    slico79
    Talking to her was not a mistake. If you didn't talked to her then you would still be thinking about your situation. Now that everything is clearly over, you can start anew. The relationship is now closed, it time to move on. Good Luck!
  • Oct 26, 2011, 10:00 AM
    I wish
    Next time, when a girl ignores your calls/text/etc. know that they don't want to talk to you anymore, so don't force the issue. That's grounds for a restraining order. You don't need that on your criminal record.

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