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-   -   How should I tell my partner that I don't want her mom living with us anymore? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=600665)

  • Oct 3, 2011, 01:25 PM
    unique_confused
    How should I tell my partner that I don't want her mom living with us anymore?
    I need some HELP my mother in law is driving me nuts! Okay me and my partner have been together for 6 years happily most of the time but now I just want to be on my own! My partners mom has been living with us now for 4 years and I can't take it no more. My partner and her mom are close which I am totally fine with but not enough for her to pretty much be our roommate who pays no bills and is always, let's say in the way. She is perfectly capable of living on her own and has no reason for living with us. I can't even talk to my partner about our future without her mom being in it. It has to be suitable for the 3 of us instead of just me and her! UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH! We can't even be alone in our own house I can't walk around in my panties or even have sex during the day. Plain and simple I don't want her living with us anymore. I don't know how to tell my girlfriend, because she is okay with it... As for me I am not and I know if I tell her she will be pissed. Her mom has said this line " I don't think I could ever live alone, AGAIN" are you for real. My partner says you won't have to we're here for you. Don't worry mom we'll pay your bills and everything. I mean my chick has to go kiss and hug her goodnight every night especially before sex or her mom will knock during or after. Me and my chick can be in the mood and my chick says wait I have to say good night first and she expects me to as well. I get turned off and when were doing it I just want to hurry and get it over with. Lately I'm not in the mood anymore because I am so turned off from our sex life. It can't just happen we always have to wait. I am so bored with my love life that I want to move on. What should I do should I try and talk to her so I if we break up I can say hey I tried to talk you if I talk to her how do I start it and also if she doesn't want her mom to move out should I just leave her since right now I am clearly unhappy and if I do how do I do that! Please help me. If my story is not clear ask questions but I need some true advice! Thanks much appreciated!
  • Oct 3, 2011, 01:44 PM
    JudyKayTee
    This is posted under Family Law, but I don't see a legal question here unless you are asking about evicting the mother-in-law. If so, who owns the property, whose name is on the lease. It does not sound like your girlfriend is interested in evicting her mother.

    If you are asking about the relationship I think you sum it up right at the very beginning - "but now I just want to be on my own!" I don't know that your reasons matter very much. You say you're 21, you've been with your girlfriend for 6 years. You've undoubtedly done a lot of changing in the years between 15 and 21 and perhaps you've outgrown the relationship or want something different for yourself.

    As far as telling your girlfriend your reasons for wanting to leave the relationship, why not just be honest with her? You apparently share lives, finances and a bed. You should be able to be honest with her, yourself and the relationship. I'm sure you have discussed problems over the past 6 years, and this is certainly something you should discuss now.

    She will either understand or she won't. If you don't have an honest discussion with your girlfriend you'll never know if you could have worked through this (or other) problem(s). Before you talk to her I'd be 100% sure that your intention is to stay... or to find a reason to go.

    You owe it to yourself NOT to be unhappy in a relationship, no matter what the cause of the unhappiness.

    Life is too short.
  • Oct 3, 2011, 02:43 PM
    ScottGem
    I agree with Judy so much so that I've moved this to a more appropriate forum.

    Unless YOU own the house or are the sole leaseholder, you can't do anything about your partner's mother living with you without her consent.

    So you get her alone and explain that you can't take it anymore. She has to choose between you and her mother. You will accept whatever choice she makes, but you need to move on if her mother is her choice.

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