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-   -   Help / don't know where I stand with my boyfriend? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=599874)

  • Sep 30, 2011, 08:02 AM
    Frogette
    Help / don't know where I stand with my boyfriend?
    I moved abroad last year to study, I was there just a few weeks when I met an incredible guy. We started dating immediately and quickly fell into a relationship. However a few months later I had to move countries to complete an internship and he took the opportunity to go traveling with friends. Initially we decided it was best to go our separate ways but remain friendly and in contact. However, when we were both gone just a few weeks we decided we missed each other so much we could make it work and we did.

    We successfully did the long distance thing for 6 months. We are both back in the same country and together now since 4 weeks, some days we are so good, others we fight and quarrel. He tells me he wants to be free and cannot be committed, and when I suggest we ease up he freaks out. I can't get it right, this results in me getting angry and losing my temper on nights out with him.

    Today he asked for some space, to reflect on things because he knows he is not treating me well, but I'm so scared I'm losing him. I don't know what to do or what to be?
  • Sep 30, 2011, 03:06 PM
    talaniman
    He needs space, give him all he wants and stop worrying about where you stand, or if you are losing him. You need to lose a guy who knows he isn't treating you well.
  • Oct 2, 2011, 05:17 PM
    vanheart
    All you've had is space. Both of you. He liked it that way.

    "He tells me he wants to be free and cannot be committed"
    That's what he wants. Let him be free, then.

    Sorry, that its not what you want

    You have to decide now what your next move is.
    Time to be single.
  • Oct 6, 2011, 06:15 PM
    Charlie0x
    Talk to him. Tell him that he says he needs space and can't be committed, and tell him if that's what he wants you will respect his choice. If easing up will help him then so be it, and your not just breaking up because your not feeling it anymore or anything.
    Conversation is the key, in my opinion. He will probably tell you exactly how he feels and you can act on that. But seriously I think you should give him more space right now. He has to know how he is treating you is not very good so he can fix it with you, or in other futute relationships. You guys might just need a break.

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