My story may seem to be somewhat strange but it has happened to me. From schooldays I have been searching my love but every time either I was unable to say or express my feeling of love or it was onesided only. Now at the age of 28 I had my latest heartache when the girl whom I liked so much and we were very good friends broke all communication with me for a trivial matter. I liked her very much but she dumped me when another guy came in her life. Unfortunately we work in the same company and in the same project and I have to see her every working day. Its becoming very difficult for me to contoll myself as I can't talk to her as everything has finished between us. She said that we can be good colleagues at office hours and strangers outside but I rejected it saying that I can't bear a two faced personality for someone. So one day I called her and finished everything between us.

From that day I am feeling very lonely and as if something utterly wrong has happened. I can't bear the thought that I have again failed to get my love. Please somebody cheer me up and give me hope that there will be someone on this planet who will accept my love and make my life worth living and that love will someday become a reality in my life too. That there will be someone who will get hurted on my pain and who will always be ready to give me that magical hug that will cure all my worries and pains. Please somebody make me feel that I am also lovable and worthy to get love in my life...

Yes, you are going to be loved and someone will love you. There are people out there for everyone, and thankfully, we have the internet to help find them.

From a practical viewpoint, this is what I personally suggest in the short term:

Don't go looking for anyone right now.
You need time to process your feelings. It is OK to be depressed and feel bad within reason. As long as you are still able to function every day, these feelings will go through their stages of intensity similar to the stages of grief when we lose someone.

Before considering looking for someone else, try to figure out what happened.
Really examine the facts of the relationship. Right now it is all clouded by the raw emotions and baggage you are carrying around from relationship to relationship. With a little time, you should be able to start identifying the reasons. I would write them down in a journal if I were you. Guys get to call them a journal, gals sometimes call theirs a diary - but don't worry about that ;) Writing this stuff down can be important, trust me.

How much baggage do you have and what's in there?
I personally believe you are carrying around something from the past that gets you into this active, repeating cycle of longing, falling in love, and breaking up. This drama serves some purpose somewhere in your sub conscious, in my opinion after years on psychologist's couches and dealing with similar issues. I would use the journal and start writing down memories you have in your life at any age relating to love. Loving anyone. Family members, romantic love, etc. The best suggestion is to seek out counseling where this stuff can come out in a more beneficial, therapeutic process.

When you are looking back at the current relationship be honest about what YOU did.
Example, if you really are falling too hard too fast, then just because your intent to say send her a palette of fresh cut roses to her office was done out of your "incredible love" for her, it is overwhelming, especially if it continues. Especially if she starts giving you cues to slow down and you ignore because your judgment is clouded by the overwhelming feelings of love, and maybe "She's the one". You might be trying so hard to "Make this one THE one", that you are actually pushing her away with your intensity. Not saying that's what happened, just giving you an example and asking you to look honestly at your situation and your part in the ending of the relationship.

Lastly, really, truly let go of all of your past loves.
You have to be in a calm place where you are at peace with all of your old relationships, whether they are romantic, family or otherwise. When you start to make yourself available again for a new romantic relationship, you want to make sure you are not still grieving or reacting in the present to past relationship issues.

Was this helpful? Let me know.

I want to thank you for coming to our site to share your experiences with us, I hope you will find the answers and support you need.

Good luck.

Hi, Chaudhary,I am so sorry your feeling this way right now,sadly we've all been there.It will pass although you may not think so right now, but it will in time.

Perhaps you are trying to hard.Good lasting relationships have to have a firm foundation,if they haven't they will fail.I think the fact that you've experience lost relationships already,starts you out immediately on negative vibes,your thinking... if only sub-consciously... that this is going to fail again,more often than not it sadly does.

For now I think you should stop making a big effort on looking for a" girlfriend",relationships very often can start from having a close friend over time, being together occasionally with no pressure from either side,sometimes this will take a natural course of events, when you realise that both your feelings are more than friends.At this time you've grown to know each other, your likes and dis-likes etc etc... this has already brought you close together as friends and should now have a stronger foundation for a love between you to develop.It's very important not to force the issue,just except things as they develop.

Try and think positive about yourself, learn to love yourself,look in the mirror every day, tell yourself you look great, you feel great, it's going to be a good day... and believe it.. it does work.


I wish you luck

Thanks a lot Cliff and Orphan for your support... its really a tough time for me... but I have to control myself... otherwise I will wither like a leaf of plant.