I am a 21 yr old woman here. My boyfriend is 20.
We have a 7 month old son, and we were put on a waiting list for an apartment. Took 6 months for an apartment to open up.

We currently live with his family, and we are all three cramped up in one room!
I was so excited about the apartment, even if it was part of section 8.

Anyhow, we sign the lease (thankfully it is a month to month lease) and we moved our stuff in. Suddenly he gets really depressed and starts crying and saying he hates it there. He said he only accepted It to make me happy. Then he said it was because the entire apartment was tiled, so there is no carpet.

Then he said he missed getting most of his stuff for free at his moms. He gave it one night and refused to stay. Now we are back at his moms in the same predicament we were before. He said he wants an apartment closer to his job that has carpet where it should.

He apologized so much for it, because he lead me to believe he was excited and wanting to move as well. He should have told me before we turned on cable, internet and electric as well as signed the papers.

I can't help but to think he just doesn't want to ever move from his moms. I told him, we can move back, but I'm getting a job and saving up for a good apartment, then my son and I will move out, if he wants to come, he may, but we need our freedom, plus his mother and I have never got along.

So, the question is: what do you think was going through his head? I'm still upset because I wanted this so bad, and instead I had to move back with him to his mothers. Every time I try to talk with him, he gets annoyed. I'm honestly out of ideas.

You move to the apartment, honestly I bet it has nothing to do with carpet and more to do with moving back to be with mom.


Get some 20 or 30 dollar room rugs and lay down, go to the rug stores and ask for old carpe they took out and lay it down.

He is not wanting ( my guess) to move out and wants to have it easier at mom

I would move and say this is where I and your child will be at.

The thing is, I wanted to, but since I have no job, I would be without electric. The apartments would put my ent at $0 since is government income based.
Plus he threatened to take me to court over our son. I wouldn't mind much if I had a job to support my son, my mother said we could ( my son and I) could live with her until I got back on my feet.
The thing that scares me is I've been told, if I can't support my child, the court will automatically give him custody since he has the job.
I've went to so many places and no one seems to be hiring.
I'm going to crf ( a foundation for getting people to donate to charities) tomorrow. And I told my SO when I get the money, I'm gone.
I couldn't take the apartment because the lease is signed under his name, since we aren't married and he's the only one with a job ATM.

Wow, I can not believe how this guy is making excuses not to live together and live alone as your own family. Sounds like living at moms house is conveinant for him. Does not want to cut the apron springs. How old is your son and how long has this mess been going on for. He may have the job but he is at his mommies place. You waited all this time and then he scrams on you. That is not fair or right to you or your child.
What are the issues with his mother. How old are both of you?

Our son is 7 months old.
I'm 21
He's 20. Yes we aren't older, but old enough hat he should want to move out.
I blame his mother partially. She coddles her children, and constantly says " id let my kids all live here forever if they wanted!"

I was raised to support my family, and not have to depend on others.
His mother raised him to be spoiled, and gave him a placeto stay any tim hi friends no longer had room for him to live with them. He tries, just not hard enough. He also refuses to step up.
When our son was first born, he was ready to help out as much as possible. Now he refuses to grow up, sure he helps out when I ask, and recently said he'd watch the baby while I went out with the girls ( which will be the first time since our son was born.) But every where I go, baby goes with me. He never takes kaidan ( or son) with him. So if I spend the weekend with my mother, I have to take him with me while my boyfriend has a free weekend to himself with his friends. All he does is plays games. I've gotten to the point where I've gotten such a good schedule for our son, that I freak out anytime he tries to help, because even though its not wrong, its still completely different than how I do it.

Stressed mommy here.

His mother sounds really controlling and also sounds that she wants her children to take care of her some how. What does she have over him. Wow, crazy situation but understand it completely.

You are a constant in your sons life and your always there for your son. That should mean a lot. There could be a battle but he is your son. Also who is going to award full custody to somebody that lives with their mom?

You need to make some tough decisions and decide what is the best for YOU and the BABY. No one else.

Thanks so much for your help and support Joe.
I was afraid people were going to degrade me for my situation.
So many are quick to judge when it comes to stay at home mothers. It just around here, its actually
Cheaper for me to stay home, rather than pay 170 a week for daycare.
I'm hoping to get this job, since my aunt offered to babysit my son.

His mother, tries to take over with our son constantly, and I constantly remind her who the parents are.

She's very controlling. We butt heads often, and I finally had to tell her that just because I do not have a paying job, I still have a full time job being a mother.
My entire family can't stand his mother, so none of them ever come to visit.
They also told me what you told me, get out and take the baby.
I appreciate you being open instead of judgemental.

That is why we are here. To be open minded and understanding.

My wife is a stay at home mom. It is one of the most important jobs in the world to raise your children.

It sounds like your family is very supportive of you. That is really good to know that you have people on your side. Which will be important many years to come.

He has finally come to the realization that he has to take responsibility.

Doesn't like that one bit. Mommy isn't there.

This isn't about carpet. Its about growing up, fast.

He should want to be where his girlfriend & child are. Especially after making those plans.
Take responsibility for his actions. You are.

Talk to him, and a counselor. If he isn't invested in you and the family you've made together,
Then take the steps that are best for you & your son.

He is living the good life with his mom

He is getting spoiled by you and by her

He needs to grow up those are the facts

And you need to tell him what you want out of this relationship
It's got nothing to do with a carpet lol
Kid just wants an easy life

Well with that comes scarifies your not going to stay with him forever there so you and him need to make a choice.

Talk to him and be direct and honest with him I feel he is getting a pretty easy time with you and his mom in the house.

Oh and if he does get annoyed at you trying to have an adult conversation about your relationship
Then get rid of him

Communication is key! To everything
If something is important to you he should be willing to listen

It really is time to show kiddie some tough love

I really believe you are better off getting your life together at your moms home and let him do some more growing with his own mom. Your fears of leaving him are just that, FEAR, and hardly a basis in fact.

Going back home to mommy without trying, rugs, or no rugs (LAME), is a real big red flag, that you are with a boy, not a man.

That's what you pay attention too, so let him grow up and be a better example of man hood for the boy you have.

Hey he can visit, and so can his mom, anytime right?