My sons father pays some child support and that's not an issue on my side... but he's asking me to give him non court ordered joint custody, the problem is he lives on the west coast and I live on the east and he wants to take our 3 yr old and send them to his grandparents in pr. For 6 months out of the year. He actually has no intention of having our child during the duration of any visit. Can he actually take me to court for this? He's also throwing it in my face that he wants to sign over his rights if I don't let my son go to puerto rico for 6 months a yr... can he sign them over and be done with it? Id be more than happy if he did. Help!

He is bluffing and deluded at this point. He can't just sign his rights away nor can he force that level of visitation to be with someone else. No court will agree to it. Now if he is the one wanting visitation then the courts will allow for it but not to be given away to someone else.

There is no such thing as non court ordered joint custody.
There is no such thing as non court ordered any type of agreement

No he can not just sign his rights away, unless you are remarried and your partner wants to adopt.

He can file in court for joint custody, but since you don't live within the same school district for when he gets a couple year older, it is not going to happen.

He could get the child for the entire summer but that would be about the max.

At 3 your son only has a couple of years before school. S o a court is unlikely to grant 50/50 custody.

And as noted, he will not be able sign away his rights. So tell him you can't agree to his terms and if he doesn't like it then take you to court.

Thank you guys I really appreciate it... I agreed to let him have our son for part off the summer and alternate major holidays... but thank you again for your help because he's trying to make the situation difficult and he wants his mom to raise our son... no I realize it'll most likely never happen :)