My ex an I have been together for 6 years an have two children together. At one point we even planned to marry. But with my second pregancy I became very deppredded an resentful towards him, he had just got out of prison not even two months before. So anyway I stayed with him an I loved him but was just so un happy with myself I made us both miserable. But we lasted for 4 more years an another 6 month prison sentence. I waited on him an picked up the pieces twice for our family. But lately I just couldn't make myself b nice. I pushed him right into another woman's. Arms. When he left I was relieved for a few days then I realized that I was throwing away everything I had built with him. We talked an he would say he wasn't seeing anyone an then I would find out he was an I would b so pissed an yell an cuss this has been going on for almost 3 months now. We have finnally agreed to b cival for the kids. I love him so much an just want my life back. He told me that he was talking to this girl an cared about her, and that this was his life now at his new apartment an was not coming home now. He also said that he loved me because of what we did have but I ruined everything he had for me by treating him so poorly, but that he was not in love with me. But he calls me all the time to talk an even asks me to do things for him.I just can't imagine him loving someone else. What do I do let it go?

I guess he wants his cake and eat it too, but not sexually. He still wants your emotional support which he has had for so long; so I don't know why you should sanction this. He has cut loose physically but not emotionally and you are left holding all of the emotional baggage which should not be.

Can't you make a life for yourself with his children. Change your telephoone number, be proactive about your life after him

Seems he has already told you that he is not coming back and is with another woman. That may or may not be the case in the future, but now you have to make do foryourself and the kids. Kids are your first priority now.

Tick

My kids are always first for me, but when I'm alone I just can't even imagine being with anyone else. I just feel I didn't get this far to give up.. but I guess it is time to just let it go.

There are two things I suggest. Firstly think about the kids because they have a lot of journey to go by. If you neglect them the situation goes worse in the future so take care of your kids. Secondly if you love a person so much and had a relationship of 6years you should have completely understand the character of the person and how much he cares you and how much he loves you, coming to the fact if you love a person so much there is a maximum possibility that you receive the same amount of love in return so your husband loves you he goes with a new girl because it may just a physical attraction but he still has feelings for you just pretend to be neglecting him and take care of the kids.. this may work out because when a person you love neglects you their no pain bigger than this...

Hello lostlove,

You say after your second pregnancy,you became very deppressed,did you have any medication for this? I was just wondering if you suffered post-natal depression,it can go on for some time, even a few years.This could be the reason for your misery which affected both of you,eventually leading to the breakup.

I can understand you being angry if your partener continued to have to serve a prison sentence, especially when you needed him most,however you did stand by him and were there when he came home and you say you did still love him, but were still feeling dowm about yourself.

You desparately need to biuld yourself esteem back up.Go see your doctor,tell him how down you've been feeling ever since your baby was born and that you continue to feel miserable which is affecting everyone else around you.He may be able to give you a temporary lift which will bring you out of this misery you feel.

When your feeling a little better, go look at yourself in a mirror,ask yourself what do you see,are you happy with your reflection,could you do with a little make over... maybe some new clothes, a different hair style, also experiment with different make up.It doesn't have to cost a lot,you can get some really good cheaper brands these day which are just as good... give it a go,you'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel.

Who knows, when you do see your ex. Again it just might make him look twice and realise what he's giving up.If you want something bad enough in this life,you have to fight for it,so feel good and look good.

In the mean time take care of your children and look after yourself... I wish you luck

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Originally Posted by 0rphan

Hello lostlove,

You say after your second pregnancy,you became very deppressed,did you have any medication for this? I was just wondering if you suffered post-natal depression,it can go on for some time, even a few years.This could be the reason for your misery which affected both of you,eventually leading to the breakup.

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Correct terminology is post partum depression, and yes, it can have devastating results on a woman who has just given birth. It may show up in a few months after birth, or it could be a year after birth. Sometimes misdiagnosed as normal depression.

Postpartum Depression: MedlinePlus

My ex. Says he wants to work stuff out with me but he wants to make sure I have worked out my deppression an anger issues an no I am not perfect but I have received therapy an medication for my deppression. An he says he needs to see me act stable for a few months before we will begin our reconcilliation. But he is still seeing someone else an when I asked him why he hasn't broke up with her yet he says because if he does then I start being mean again. Then he will be truly alone. Would a man really stay in a relationship when he still wants his ex? Cause if he did wouldn't he be untrue to both girls? Cause I know she doesn't know what he says to me, an I can't take it when he is with her cause he doesn't call me.. An the next day I get a little angry an short an he says see.. An I just tell him I can't deal with him being with someone else, an I can't. So is he just telling me this to keep me calm an if he is then why does he constantly call me, as soon as she is gone?someone please help me do the right thing because I don't want anyone else an don't plan on being with someone else until I canproperly heal from this. But how can I heal when he constantly calls me an just wants to talk...

First, set some boundaries. Don't deal with him; don't talk with him. He's not in your life right now and is no one you want to have to deal with. He only confuses things. You don't need all that noise and drama right now.

The important person is you. It's time to take care of yourself and get yourself back together.

Are you still in therapy and still taking meds? How is that going?

Please respond and let us know.

Yes I am still in therapy an taking meds. I feel very good about myself an where my life is going I just want my family back. The thought of going threw all the single stuff again scares the hell out of me. Maybe I should just be alone until I know I am not doing this to just not be alone and do the single stuff.

Right now focus on your children and on yourself. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/emotio...go-598239.html

Are you staying away from him, doing a No Contact?

No we speak everyday sevral times. I try to do the no contact and I have even blocked his numbers from calling me and he just calls from different numbers.then he makes me feel bad cause he says its about the kids that he calls about the kids.. I know its not true because he nvr asks to speak to them an when I agree to let him see them he always has some excuse of why I have ruined it for him. I don't want them around his new girlfriend at all right now an he always finds some way of why she has to stop by.. then I don't allow them to come an he says it all my fault.

Then don't answer numbers you don't recognize. (You have caller ID?)

YOU have to set boundaries, or you are going to keep spinning your wheels and making yourself angry and miserable for dealing with him. There will be a time to deal with him, but not right now.

How old are the kids?

Yes I think your right. But I'm scared if I put space between us it will push him closer to her. My son is 3 my daughter is 5. My son had his tonsills removed on Thursday an he wanted to be there an I let him, but the thing is I had to pick him up an drop him off. I should not be doing this should I?

Nope, you shouldn't. You are enabling him and helping him be "bad." Stop!

What you are doing now is pushing him closer to her. Stop!

Like I said, it's your time for you. How can you put you and your children first and avoid the drama?

You set the limits, no calls , calls , and calls, tell him that if there are issues with the kids you will call him. Calls you don't know, let them go to voice mail,

When you let him talk to the kids on the phone, do it on speaker phone so you know what he is saying to the kids, but if he stops talking to them, then the call is over and you just hang up.

He has I assume set visitation to see the kids, during that time, he gets to see and talk to the kids.

IFyou need to, make the kid exchange in a public place, fire houses or police stations are normal for this.