Hello,

I am considering joining Facebook, I have very bad social anxiety and normally don't participate in those social networking things. I would like to send a 'friend request' and maybe reconnect with this guy I talked to online 2 years ago. We used to talk often but lost contact. He lives in a different state but was funny and nice. I don't have very much experience with men and he knows that anyway, I am nervous he will reject me as friend, is that typical for people to do on there or what? Ty.

I think you will be OK. I had a Facebook account I never rejected any friend request.

Facebook can be a funny site.

People are accepted as friends sometimes friends are taking off the list. Just all depends. Befriending people and deleting people do happen on Facebook. Some rejection can occur but that is usually from people that somebody does not know.

You just never know if they will accept or not. You do not know until you sign up and send a request. This friend you know is on Facebook for sure?

Joe,

Yes he's on there for sure :) I actually found out by accident I was trying look him up via the internet to email him and his Facebook came up instead.

Whether you have experience with the opposite sex, or not, or whether you think you have few social skills or not, WE all have a fears of rejection. I say go for it. Send him a friends request. Why NOT?

Better to know where you stand, than worry forever if you had a chance for a good outcome. That's my view any way.

If your only purpose is to try and get or start a new relationship with this person and you take rejection poorly?

What if he does "friend" you, but on his page, there is pictures of other girls, his current girlfriend and things like that, how will or can you handle that.

No two people "friend" the same, I have over 1000 "friends" and do so with people I bearly know or those that just have things in common.

Some people only friend,those that are in a very close circle of friends.

If you want to have fun, play games, make new friends, then it is great, if you merely want to try and use it as a way to get one specific boy and will be heart broken if it does not work I am not too sure about it

Well chuck -- my 'sole purpose' isn't to start a new relationship with him like love interest or anything and I'm not using FB as a dating service. I simply wanted to see how he is doing, yes I had a crush on him but I miss talking to him in general. If there's 100's of girls on his page -- oh well, won't be the first time I had a crush on someone and it turned out like that.

I decide not to sign up or send the request. Thanks all.

Many of my crushes ended up the same way, way back in the day, but disappointment never stopped me from making friends, and doing things that I enjoyed, and practicing those social skills we all need to interact and have fun with others.

Bars are not the only place to practice being social, and meet new people. Any setting from grocery stores, to Home Depot, are excellent places to over come shyness, or isolation. Group functions, church activities, sporting events, charity volunteering, all are great ways to overcome social awkwardness, and have interactions with others.

Building a happy life that you enjoy is the key to personal growth, and learning, and can lead to shared experiences with interesting people, places, and things, that you may never thought of.

What, you thought I was born a charming, interesting, engaging fun guy, with a lot of friends, and fun stuff to do?? :eek: :D :)

I am confused. Were you going to join FaceBook as a way to interact and keep in touch with people or to contact this one friend?

Even if you don't contact him, there are many other ways to use FaceBook to learn to be more comfortable interacting with others. You might be surprised at how many people you know are using it. There are games and groups to use as common interests points with other people.

If you still don't want to join FaceBook, Tal has given you several ways to expand your comfort zone and interact with others.

Ty you tal for the suggestions. Personally I don't see how anyone is being social at the home depot or grocery stores, when I go there I shop and leave. But OK. Cat:It was the original catapult why I wanted to start using F.B. found out he was on there and thought 'maybe I should join' then realized I know of other people I used to be friends with that are on there as well. I have Asperger Syndrome and like I said anxiety disorder. Frankly don't have an interest in finding new friends; if I got on F.B. I was sure some people I knew would pop up and that would've been fine. Since I decide I wasn't going to contact him at all, no point joining to talk to old people from my life, because I don't friends anyway. Used to have friends and dropped them all, too many troubles trying to navigate social interactions, IMO. Tired of going through it; everyone is all into these social networking and doing this and that. I don't understand connecting with others for 'enjoyment' so not going to bother trying anymore. Prefer do things on my own, then no hassles. That's how I see it. Again thanks though for advice.

Edit: When I said 'connecting with others for enjoyment purposes' that came out wrong. What I meant was connecting with others and having social obligations. I don't know why I ever thought I could get in that loop & function in the first place. It was a stupid idea. Ok ty.