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-   -   I am not attracted to my girlfriend (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=597922)

  • Sep 19, 2011, 05:45 AM
    twopac22
    I am not attracted to my girlfriend
    I am not and have never been attracted to my girlfriend. We were friends first and then friends with benefits, and now dating. She is one of the best person I have ever met. Helpful, talented and very open minded. Its hard to let someone go just because of there looks. I hate to sound like an *** but she is not that attractive and she is bigger and taller than me. What do I do?
  • Sep 19, 2011, 07:37 AM
    Cat1864
    This is not to sound harsh. But if you aren't attracted to her and are still having sex with her, doesn't that mean you are using her?

    Are you positive you aren't attracted to her? Perhaps not in the way you expect to be attracted to another person. Looks aren't everything. Looks change as we go through life. It is what is inside-personality, humor, compassion, etc.-that doesn't change as much. It is the internal characteristics that sometimes attract us even when we least expect to be.

    You need to be honest with yourself and her. If you are only dating her because she is available and willing to have sex, then you are in the relationship for the wrong reasons. You don't have to tell her you aren't attracted to her in so many words, but you should let her know that you think you are better friends than lovers. The deeper emotions of love aren't there and you both deserve someone who will love you and want to build a life with you.

    Don't hold on to a relationship because you are afraid of letting go. Another person should not be your shield against being alone. Yes, it will hurt to leave, but it will hurt less now than it will if you allow this go on for years or until you meet the woman who does physically attract you and you dump her.

    Good luck.
  • Sep 19, 2011, 11:01 AM
    TrueFaith
    I'm failing to understand why. You went with her in the first place

    You do. Know there is a no word that could have. Saved you all this trouble

    But you in it know my advice talk to her
    Just break up with her normally don't go your not attractive

    Try and get back that friendship although I very much doubut that will happen now.

    It's time to call it quits if you don't then you will be miserable and so will she


  • Sep 19, 2011, 01:11 PM
    talaniman
    Why not try some honesty and the truth with her, and let her go to heal. It will hurt like hell, so be gentle, and more thoughtful than you have been.
  • Sep 21, 2011, 12:43 AM
    vanheart
    Stop pretending.
    Tell her.

    "I am not and have never been attracted to my girlfriend."

    That's not a girlfriend. She may think otherwise.

    Now its time to tell her how you really feel.

    Be a man.
  • Sep 21, 2011, 10:45 AM
    mmresd
    It would be worse to lead her on, because her expectations for you will only grow bigger. Be a good friend and end the relationship now.
  • Oct 19, 2011, 03:22 PM
    bulx8
    Please don't tell her that you're not attracted to her. But do tell her that you feel as if you guys are better off as friends and end it there. If you don't have it for her, then you simply don't have it for her. We are not going to be attracted to every person we run across. There's nothing wrong with that, but what is wrong, is to continue in a relationship with her when all you have is love for her as a human being and not as a romantic partner.

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