When he broke up with me a month ago he said it had nothing to do with how much he loved me. He said still loves me very much, was attracted to me, cared about me, etc. He just needs time for himself. He wants to do whatever he wants without worrying how it affects me. We've been together well over 4 years and have always had an open and honest relationship. I've never told him not to do things, always given him his space and respected his hobbies and such. I like how independent we both were while still maintaining an awesome relationship. We still live together (I can't afford to move out and have moved my stuff into the spare bedroom) and the dynamic of our relationship has remained virtually unchanged we're just not sleeping together. Which is why I'm so confused. What gives? Right now I'm saving to move out, hopefully by November if not sooner. I debate on whether to stray too far (ie move 3000 miles away) because of the dim hope that we may be able to get back together. Is this a fool's hope? I'm not a kid and neither is he (I'm in my late 20s and he's about 8 years older than me) so I'm trying to be realistic about this whole thing. I am still very much in love and struggling with this on a daily basis. Any thoughts? I'd love a fresh/unbiased perspective...

Hi moon_bunny,
My heart breaks for you reading this post.
I believe you are not in a healthy environment right now... living with this guy and not be able to reach out to him, is making your decisions in a roller coaster. He needs his space and wanting to do whatever he wants he says but whatever you want or needs has been put on the shelf until he considers it. You need to get out of that place as soon as you can; it's hard I know but it needs to be done... think about yourself too... what path you want to take. You guys have been together for 4 year but he still won't commit. Give yourself a time away from him and take a step back of where this relationship is going.

After 4 years of being together and at your stage of the relationship of living together and right at the age of contemplating marriage, you can either push to the next step, or in your case, he realized that it wasn't working out, so he's breaking up now so that you don't have to get a divorce later.

The early days of the break up is going to be tough, but it's best that you move out as soon as possible so that you can be in a better environment so that you can start healing properly. Can one of you move out to temporary arrangements until you find a new place for yourself?

The longer you stay there, the longer the healing process drags out, which isn't healthy for you.

I agree with the others, your relationship is no longer a priority, its an option, and a distant one. Leaving ASAP, would be a wise course of action, and a healthy one.

Fools hope!

Even if you remained close in distance and somehow managed to get back together because you're always there, will the relationship be sincere on his end? Honest on his end? Or is it just convenient because you were still there and he ran out of fun...