I am 14 years old and I want to know who my real grandparents are. I don't want to end up married to my cousin or something...

Firstly you MUST ask your father if he would be all right with you making these enquiries.

I'm sorry, but this is your father's search, not yours.

ESPECIALLY since you are a minor.

My suggestion is to talk to your father about it.

PS--there is a reason for blood tests in many US states, and part of that reason is the risk of consanguinity because of closed adoptions.

In any case, the odds of you meeting and marrying a cousin because of adoption are very low.

You are really in catch-22, child! You need to 'talk' to your father only, and do it with all the confidence. HE WILL DEFINITELY ANSWER.

However, I say HOWEVER, mind it, if he fails to satiate you, I mean, if he does not ANSWER suppose...

... you CAN talk to your KIN, I mean close-relatives, in this regard, if they can be any help. They will for sure, help you, if you raise your 'may-end-up-marrying-cousin-something' doubt.

And, still if it does not solve the problem, you can go for some BLOOD test, which are available almost everywhere, which will help you to avoid CONSANGUINITY, even as the probability of such a 'lovely' meet are rarest of the rarest and very remote, so to say! DO NOT WORRY, CHILD!

Thanks you guys! My father has no interst in finding who he's parents are. I am sure he want care if I do it though. So thanks again. :)

I'm in the same position as you. Im 17 and have very little family so really want to find cousins/grandparents. My father has no interest in finding his real grandparents but doesn't mind if I look them up. I don't need to meet them but it would be nice to know who they are.
If you find anysites that could help,
Good luck
Xoxo

Why would it be nice to know who they are ?

You have grandparents, the people who loved, adopted and raised your father. Are they lacking in some way as a grandparent to you ?

Fr_Chuck. It would be nice to know them to see where I got my eye color stuff like that. My adopted grandparents won't even talk to me, so yea I think they are lacking their duty as grandparents and so is my dad. Talk to him about twice a year by his choice. I was diagnosed with a dna mutation and would like to know their medical history more than anything... Good Luck to you too Aimee... I know how you feel. :)

The medical information may be a good reason, but in general there is not really any good reasons, eye color can be from 4 or 5 generations back.

But part of the reason ( perhaps) they don't like to talk about it, they feel they are the real parent, they were there when he was sick, they were their at all the school plays, the football games. They were there when he was late coming home or sat with him at the hospital if he was hurt.

They perhaps don't know why anyone feels a need to find someone that was never part of the family except to be there when the mom conceived.

So you have your dad, his medical history is available.
I ask this even on the kids I counsel for medical reasons, what information would be found from finding them that would change any one issue of your medical treatment

Fr_chuck: I haven't even talked to my grandparents about it... I have talked to my dad about it and he said I could look them up. Their other adopted child looked her parents up and even had lunch with them. If it bothered them they didn't say anything...

Thanks Fr: chuck you have really helped me out... :)

I am the same. I am 18 years old and my father was adopted. I want to find medical history on them because my father had cancer young. He refuses to research it. I also have plethora of other medical anomalies in my past I want to see if anything runs in his family. I am as lost as you my friend...

UNLESS you were adopted or have been in a situation like it, you don't understand what those people go through. I was adopted and for years wanted to find my birth parents although the rest of my family was against it... I didn't give a , however, how they felt because NONE of them were adopted. So yes, your adopted parents raise you and love you. But that doesn't change wanting to find out who you're birth family is. And unless your're adopted, you have absolutely no room to talk

Both my parents were adopted, and would love to find the means to at least putting myself out there, so if they are looking they could find me. I'd like to know my next closest ancestry and possibly get some insight as to where and what type of world I come from. I think inherent in all people is a desire to know where you come from, some find no need to go after it, but I'm reaching a point in my life where I'm looking for new ways of getting to know myself, and part of who I am comes from my past, the past before me, before my mother and father. I've spoken to my parents and they are more than OK with whatever I'd like to do. Frankly they see it as my choice to make, I've just as much right to know who they are as they do (though neither of them are looking).