If a woman believes she was sexually molested by her mother and older sister as a child around ages 6 or 8, does that make it true? IF they don't remember EXACTLY but just have 'thoughts' of them (TMI) playing inside her panties, etc. Now just because you have those thoughts, does that make it true? What if the woman suffers from chronic depression and anxiety disorder has never been in a relationship far as I know and is going on 33! Obviously I am trying to keep their confidentiality but I want to help them. So how does it work psychology wise: just because a person has these thoughts or feelings does that automatically mean it happened? If not, where would these thoughts come from then? Thanks to anyone with insight on this matter.

There are things called false memories... but on the other hand far too many children actually are abused to automatically discard the possibility. (meaning a memory of something may or may not mean that event actually occured) She really does need to get into therapy if she isn't. Even if only because of the chronic depression. It can, and should be treated to raise her quality of life. THe other issues can be dealt with as well.

Not too many years ago, the psychology field was rocked by what became known as "recovered memory therapy." Therapists, sometimes deliberately, guided clients with a line of questioning that "revealed" that parents and caregivers had sexually abused them, when, in fact, they had not. Families were broken up and lawsuits abounded.

Thus, my warning: be very, very careful with this! Memory is a very dicey thing. My son once came to me years after the supposed event and claimed that I had screamed loudly at him in the toy department while we were Christmas shopping at Sears. Now, I am not a screamer even in the worst of times, and especially not a loud one in a public place. I suggested that I may have told him that he couldn't buy a certain toy because Santa was coming soon, and he was upset by this, so then he remembered that it had been snowing that day and that I was wearing a brown jacket with a fur collar. (I've never owned such a jacket.)

So, my response to you is, it may have happened and it may have not. To get at the truth, the woman needs to find a very experienced therapist who is aware of the pitfalls of memory and discuss what might have happened. Her depression and anxiety should also be discussed and unraveled.