Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Other Family & People (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=234)
-   -   Why do I look for an argument? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=597155)

  • Sep 13, 2011, 07:34 PM
    Mrs.Monster
    Why do I look for an argument?
    So what I'm here today to ask you is , Why do I crave to fight with my parents. Here's my story... My mom and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things so, we tend to argue A lot! So now that I live with my grandparents and only see my parents on weekends (im living with my grandparents so I don't have to switch High schools) during the week the one thing I want more than anything is to fight with her. I've been told its not healthy but, Its something I really want. On the weekend (friday afternoon) Ill go home and lock myself in my room. I know that gets them angry because they don't really see me and when Im there I ignore them. So we argue and that rush makes me OMG! It makes me feel relifed and get me through my week.
    Do I have mental problems?
    Or is it that for the last 3 years I've grown a addiction to the rising of the blood pressure and the feeling I get with we fight?
    Is it my fault?
    And how do I loss this craving?
  • Sep 13, 2011, 07:51 PM
    Horizons
    I'm not an expert, but I don't think you're crazy, just off balance. I know that sounds like a politically correct way of saying the same thing, there is a difference; with a mental condition it's not something that you can alter, like with an issue of balance. You said, that you crave the rush, that's where you start. You need to find a new rush. It's true, too much conflict isn't healthy for you, or your parents. You can either look at ways of making you feel an adrenaline rush, that aren't harmful - like exercise, or maybe even take up boxing or something that still is related to fighting without the negative effects. Another option is, maybe try doing something that will make you not crave the rush, such as meditation.

    Just a few suggestions. I hope they help guide you in the right direction.

    -H-
  • Sep 16, 2011, 12:50 PM
    0rphan
    I don't think your mental,however I do think you have issues that need to be sorted out.
    Why your mum in particular? you don't argue during the week so why wait to see your mum! Is it because her house rules stop you doing things that you want to do? maybe a problem with authority,being told what you can or cannot do,surely your grandparents being more senior would be worse or at the very least equal to what your parents say you can do!

    Could it be that your grandparents spoil you and turn a blind eye allowing you much more freedom than your parents?

    Every child always has a difference of opinion with their parents over all kinds of issues,sometimes they argue, other times they discuss them and sort them out.

    To me it seems as though you are blamimg your mum for something,could be something way back when you were much younger.I'm saying your mum because this is where your main problem seems to lie.Locking yourself in your room so they can't see you,which of course is a very spiteful thing to do,mums and dads want to be with their child and look forward to seeing them each week all be it for a short period,but you put yourself out to be nasty deliberately... why?

    Have they treated you badley,when you were younger,were you beaten or abused,no... they cared for you nursed you, clothed and fed you,most of all they loved you,this is not normal behaviour for a child.

    I think you have some kind of mental block somewhere, that is producing this behaviour.My advice to you is to go and see your GP tell him everything that is happening,write it down if necessary, that way you won't forget anything.If he thinks it is advisible he will refer you for some councilling which I am sure will help you bring out the problems that are bothering you, so that you can move on without anger being bottled up against the people who love you most in the world.You will be a much happier and more relaxed person for it I'm sure...
  • Sep 17, 2011, 10:16 AM
    QLP
    Are there any particular things that you always argue about?

    Is it possible that they are not getting resolved so that when you go back to your grandparents you have to sit on those negative feelings all week till they build up unbearably and then you need the release of arguing each weekend?

    Sorry, if that's wrong, just trying to understand the situation.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:03 PM.