Lake of tolerance is the main problem in my relationship. We love each other very much but we can't control our anger when we disagree to each other. We continuously blame each other. My girlfriend always think she is right and I'm wrong. I can't handle the crisis any more. Could you please tell what to do?

How long have you been together in this relationship? Has there been any kind of counseling? I would say if your not happy and communication is not there. It is time to decide whether to move on and not be her boyfriend anymore.

It sounds like there are issues being a match, since it appears both of you are more concerned with their own self, than the other.

I would serioiusly suggest couples counseling if you want to continue this relationship

Why do you have to be right, or get angry? Why even argue about who is? Let her do things her way, and she should let you do things your way. If things have to been done a certain way, then that person should do them, and you both can learn to just be quiet.

Calm communications is what you have to learn. And from that you will learn to shut up, back up, and step aside. I think you will work together better if you do. If you cannot, what's the point? All the love in the world won't keep you together if you insist on making war, and not love, will it?

Show love, not anger, and frustration, because love is an action, not just a word, or feeling. You don't have to defend yourself, just listen when your partner is angry, so you can understand why. You may never convince each other whose right, or wrong, but thinking before you act or speak may lower the volume, close your mouths, so the ears can be open and hear what the other is saying.

Count to 10, as many times as you have to, before you react, and make things worse. Does it matter how something is done? Just be quiet, and help each other do things the way they want to, so they can do the same in return, and in this way, co operation, and understanding can be achieved.

Communication is both talking, AND LISTENING, and practice makes perfect. What are you afraid of being WRONG, or something??

Maybe it's the way you go about talking.

How about listening? Being calm, honest & respectful.

Then respond. With the same calm honesty.

Then repeating that.

Have a goal for the outcome of your conversation.

Are we good?

Arguing is a GOOD thing. But, only when the arguing is respectful, honest, without insults, listening to your partners point of view, and her to you. It is about communicating.

So if you two allow your arguing to turn into yelling, screaming, and bullying to 'win' your point, what do you expect will happen. Nothing will be resolved.

This isn't about who blinks first looses. I see people screaming at each other on the street and I think, why can't they just go home and talk...

If the two of you did a little research on how to argue effectively, and agreed to a set of rules of behaviour, you would actually get somewhere, instead of spinning your wheels like you are now.

Try to identify the problem first. Just what is the cause of this particular argument. If it's over you forgetting to take the garbage out, that should be easy to solve with an apology. If it's over her spending the savings account at the casino, that is a much bigger issue. Are all your arguments big and small, argued the same way?

If the two of you don't learn (this isn't a skill you are born with) how to argue in order to resolve conflicts, the arguments will eat at the relationship until the relationship is over.

Take steps to solve this problem. Do your research. Make a plan to follow simple rules of engagement, know when to walk away and agree to tackle the problem at another time. Learn how to listen and how to talk, be respectful of each others point of view. That is just for starters. Consider couples counselling.

To say that you cannot resolve the issue of learning how to communicate properly, is pretty much going to be the end of the relationship, if you both don't change.