I have been living with my parents for 3 yrs. I have been a full time care provider for my dad, who has Alzheimers. Mom and I have not been getting along. She wants to kick me out and put dad in a nursing home so her boyfriend can move in. I told her to give me a 30 day notice. Instead of doing that, she keeps calling the police, making false alegations against me. On one occasion, she reported I was abusing my dad. AdultProtective Services came to the house and found no merit to her accusations. More recently, she reported finding drugs in my room. I realize it is a bad situation and need to move out, but I have been there for 3 yrs and can't just pick up and move without notice. Can the police force me to leave? My dad doesn't want to go to a nursing home. Can I take my dad with me when I move?

All she has to do is have you served and it's a done deal in 30 days... its her house.

Right or wrong in this case... thats how it is.

You really should be looking however... its to your advantage to take the best place you can find... rather than the first and maybe only place you can find on short notice.

Not having you served yet is buying you extra time... but at some point if she has all her faculties about her, she will have you served.

I hope you are documenting all of these events well... and keeping records. Perhaps she has other issues coming into play other than the boyfriend. Particularly if that's out of character for her to be doing.

I agree, and no you can't take dad unless you have a durable power of attorney.

Unless the dad has been declared incompetent he can make his own decisions about where he wants to live. If he wants to move out and live with the son, the wife can't stop him.

If your dads doctor will agree and sign him into the nursing home, that and your moms agreement, Also the doctor will normally sign off for it, if your mom is not capable of caring for him at home ( or even if she does not want to care for him) if he can not care for his self, she can get him put into a nursing home ( for his own good)
It happens 100's of times a day though the US.

She can not evict you without a 30 day notice, but if the police or social service finds any merit to any of her complaints you could find yourself in much deeper legal trouble. Also of course, she will have all of those reports to use against you, if you try to fight her in court. Even if they find no merit, often the fact they were filed, may make the courts "wonder"

So, is it my understanding that because she is his wife, she has full control over his finances, his health care and his life without having any accountability? My dad inherited 25k last year and she took that money and opened a bank account for her boyfriend. Yesterday, she put all of his meds in front of him, knowing full well he would take them like candy. Fortunately, he is OK. She is trying to get rid of him and I so her boyfriend can move in and she can keep his money. She refuses to buy or prepare food for him. I love my dad and am willing to take care of him if she doesn't want to

By the way, all 5 of these reports took place during the past 2 weeks.. after telling her I was going to report her to social services

Response to your post #6, yes she has control unless dad has been declared incompetent. Make your report, no more threats to do so, consult an attorney about dads competency.

Dad is definitely incompetent. He has severe Alzheimers. He signed a power of attorney with a diagnosis of severe alzheimers. Is it legal? Another note, mom was recently diagnosed with dementia as well

When he signed that power of attorney who, legally, was named to have the power?

My mom had him sign the power of attorney last year so she could sell the farm that he inherited. As I said, she deposited the proceeds from the farm into an account for her boyfriend. My dad signed the power over to my mom, with me as an alternate. Is it valid even though he had severe alzheimers at the time of signing

Common law provides the durable power of attorney is no longer valid if the person dies or becomes incapacitated. You'd have to go to court and prove he is incapciated or was when he sign over power.

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Originally Posted by maria2day

... Is it valid even though he had severe alzheimers at the time of signing

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Of course not. A principal who is mentally incompetent is legally incapable of signing a POA. Therefore such a POA would be invalid. But you will need to go to court to get it all resolved.