I am currently 27 and suffering from a crime I pleaded guilty to when I was 18. At the age of 18 I had sex with a girl who was 17 and of legal age. After a few days I got a phone call from the sheriff asking me to come to the station. After a brief discussion why, I hung up the phone talked to my parents and went to see a lawyer. I believe this all came about because of a jealous ex and a rekindling of love that was trying to be saved by a lie. Police wanted to charge me with, 10 years in prison, a convicted felon and a sex offender. After many court dates and a few inconsistency's in the girls story I was asked to take a lie detector test. I happily agree and passed with flying colors, giving my parents a piece of mind. My lawyer presented this to the prosecutor and we were told the test would not be admissible in court because these test are only 99.9% accurate not 100%. A year and a half went by and it finally came down to the final court day. My lawyer informed me if I take it to trial it is a 50-50 chance. Her word against mine. I was offered a plea bargain of 30 days in county jail, and a misdemeanor registered sex offender, or if I lose the 10 years in prison. By then I was only 19, scared, and took the bargain, thinking my life would be back to normal in 30 days. I was charged with "Attempted Criminal Sexual Conduct 4th Degree" and it has haunted me every day of my life. Even though being a misdemeanor, it is still a sex crime and I cannot rent any where doing background checks. Getting a job is nearly impossible. So I live in my parents basement paying rent and opened my own construction company, which is somewhat successful. With the economy the way it is, I just cannot make enough money. I have a fiancée and a 3 year old daughter, I try to support but many people still look down on me. I want to advance in life but do not want to spend thousands in college tuition to be let down after every job interview. Is there anybody out there with a similar situation, or have advice for me. I am struggling and depressed and want to climb out from the hole but the ladder always comes up short. Thank you in advance for any advice.

What state?
What year did you take the plea bargain?
Was the lie detector test over force vs consent?

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Originally Posted by sjclay00

Getting a job is nearly impossible. So I live in my parents basement paying rent and opened my own construction company, which is somewhat successful.

Thank you in advance for any advice.

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Hello sj:

I don't know why you want to CONTINUE to bang your head against the wall, when you already KNOW you don't have to.. People who hire CONTRACTORS don't do background checks. And, what's wrong with being a contractor?

excon

You asked this under Law, so if you want life advice, which many will be happy to give, ask to have this moved to Emotional Wellbeing.
I guess it was 2002 when you were arrested and 2004 when you took the plea?
But I'm assuming you took a plea for forced sex... and laws haven't changed on that.

Yes I was arrested in 2002 in Michigan. There is nothing wrong with being a contractor. I am actually quite skilled at it, the money is just not available like it was in the past. Last year I grossed $25,000. I know there are many people making less then that, and I may sound greeding but that is clearly not enough. In my post I mentioned I want to advance in my life. I have much potential but in a way am redistricted from using it. And to answer the question about the lie detector being force vs. consent, the answer is both. It was multiple questions conducted and made by a retired State Trooper. In someway it helps me to vent instead of keeping this bottled up. I was just reaching out to you people, to see what your thoughts were on this. I know what happened that night and am not looking for someone to tell me it's going to be OK. However, back in 2010 the victims closest friend came up to me at a restaurant, and told me sorry, because the victim did not take any of this serious. Thank you, I will request to move the post to Emotional wellbeing.

First, I moved this thread from Criminal Law since you don't seem to be asking for legal help.

Second, you were NOT "wrongfully convicted". To be convicted means you had a trial. You pleaded guilty. That was your choice. You seem to have had a lazy lawyer who didn't think he could win in court.

So the question is what help do you want. Have you talked to a therapist who can help you deal with the depression?

Do you want to sue your accuser (probably won't win since you plead guilty).

What you should do, is look at what you have accomplished in your life. You managed to build a business. Maybe you should look for help in expanding that business.

One other point. Lie Detector tests are NEVER admissible in court, nor are they 99% accurate. In fact the accuracy is way lower than that. Such tests are sometimes used to see if the alleged perp might be innocent or not. To decide whether to prosecute.

The issue here is you were not wrongfully convicted, you plead guilty which takes away almost any and all rights to any appeal.

You are and will most likely live the rest of your life as a sex offender and a excon. So accept that, and think of better or different business ideas or ways to increase your business.

Not sure if you are a construction company or a handyman, sorry but 25,000 ( was that right) is less than most handymen get around here. So perhaps looking at epanding into other areas, construction clean up, clean up and mowing of foreclosures. Bidding on larger jobs ?

I have illegal alien friends who make much more than 25,000 with no overhead, just standing new Home Depo and getting jobs every day.

I told you to move out of law so that we weren't restricted to legal answers.
One thing you can do is look people in the eye and tell them what a 4th degree sex offender means, and what happened. Even if you apply for a job or apartment. Get on the internet and find all the links you can on the subject for family and friends. If you live in a town where everyone knows everyone, tell your story, including the part about the person who talked to you years later.
Even on this site there are others who took a plea. I'm sorry you paid for that lawyer.

As a wrongly charged person who accepted a plea deal ONLY because the alternative was unthinkable. Anyway, what got me through this whole ordeal, besides wonderful friends and family, was the determination that I would be a better human being for having gone through it. I went to prison for 15 months and was put on the Megan's registry in my home state. However, I am NOT a sex offender and no one will ever make me think like that. Viktor Frankl, who wrote MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING, was a concentration camp survivor, who lived through the worst horror's imaginable wrote: "The Nazi's could not take one thing from me: the ability that I could decide how to take in the horror's they perpetrated. I alone decided how I would react to them." We all choose how to take in this experience, and how to move ahead with our lives. Realize that you and you alone get to decide how you want to react to it and how you want to feel about it. Be your own best friend, your cheerleader, your loving support. IF religion helps use it. Friends can be amazing support. Use them. But decide every day that you are freeing yourself of this terrible, socially-imposed burden. You are NOT a sex offender any longer. You are a loving, caring, decent human being. YOu made a mistake. We all did. But you do not have to pay for it the rest of your life. I wish you a wonderful life. Reach out and make it your quest to free yourself. And you will.

I can say I'm in the beginning stages of your story friend. I was 19 when I met this girl at the park, 16 ,fooled around a bit{kiss and some touch} then never called her back because it just wasn't right. One year later cops pick me up after I got off work and hauled me to jail with rape, kidnap, sexual conduct with a minor... my lawyer said if all went well I was looking at minimum 7months-one year in jail. So I branded that in my brain "life is over". Then by some miracle on the 7th day they just let me go... no explanation just sent me home... I thought I was free from this insanity that just struck my whole existence on this world. So I instantly traveled as much as I could highly appreciating this new born freedom. Woe and behold 4 months go by, just turned 21, and the cops are back knocking on my door... and I really don't know what I'm going to do... im innocent and it kills me, my friends, and my family have to go through this again. When I traveled I pretty much hitch hiked and lived off the land just seeing the world as it truly is. I saw girls so much younger then the one I fooled around with having to do things that no girl should just to survive. I saw kids everywhere without homes, guidance, or love roaming the streets finding their next high or meal... makes me sick that this goes without notice or not enough... yet here I am... a young man just figuring this world out without a college education as is "required" to be normal and they want to throw this on my eager mind... I don't want to give them that pleasure... that they got me for something that's been done forever! Guys are attracted to younger girls by nature... I could understand a 34 year old man talking to a 16 year old... but 19? Sickens me I live in such a country that is so up-tight in the worst areas. Or wouldn't even care to take the time to see who I am not what I've done to see how I apologized to her and they use that as evidence, to see the hardworking good natured human being I am. Instead they want to label me a criminal for the rest of my life... I won't give them that pleasure...

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Originally Posted by monetravel

i wont give them that pleasure...

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Hello m:

Hang in there, Young Man..

excon

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Originally Posted by monetravel

I can say im in the beginning stages of your story friend. I was 19 when i met this girl at the park, 16 ,fooled around a bit{kiss and some touch} then never called her back because it just wasnt right. one year later cops pick me up after i got off work and hauled me to jail with rape, kidnap, sexual conduct with a minor.....

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I'm not going to disagree with you that Americans are more uptight about sex, especially when it comes to protecting our daughters. But I have to say YOU are one of the reasons for it. I'm sorry, but I have little sympathy for you.

According to you, you met a girl in a park, so presumably she was a stranger to you. Its not clear whether you knew she was 16 off the bat, but it appears so. So you proceeded to kiss and fondle this girl you had JUST MET! Later on it appears you came to your senses and decided not call her back. Of course this was without the courtesy of an explanation.

And now you want us to feel sorry for you. You claim to be innocent, but you aren't. You admit that you had some level of sexual activity with a minor so you committed a crime. I would have more sympathy for you if you were in a relationship with this girl for a reasonable period, but she was a pickup in a park! So no, I have little sympathy.

I do hope that you are not convicted because I don't think it right for your life to be ruined over a relatively minor indiscretion. But you need to understand that you did break the law and that what you did was not only illegal, but morally wrong.

We don't know the details and we aren't hearing both sides.
I don't like the idea that a 16 year old girl can be too innocent to make her own decisions yet be allowed out in a park alone in a presumably secluded area, fool around, give out her phone number, and then later, even one day later, decide to charge rape. Granted some women are afraid to report assaults right away. Granted she can claim that she gave you her number because she was afraid not to, but that's far fetched and she could have given a fake one. But this sounds more like a girl who makes up more and more as she is caught in a lie, and that is definitely a teenage mentality. (E.g.; why were you not seen being assaulted by passers by? Because he dragged me into the bushes) Her parents might be instigating this, or they might be the ones doubting her, so she lies more. She might be so insecure that every time she has a bad relationship she goes back to blaming you for all of them.

So this is the gamble you made when you fooled around. You are dealing with a typical mixed up teenage mindset that can go in any direction, and you should have known that. I don't think it's 'fair' but life is unfair. 50 years ago, before DNA testing, a woman who found out she was pregnant might have sex with another man just to then claim he had to marry her or pay support. There are risks to fooling around. I'm sorry this happened to you.