Hi this is my first question (I'm Stewie) I have looked all over for advice websites and can't find one so this is the next best thing at the min.

I am 20 year old and my girlfriend is 17 we are quite a new couple and just still in early stages of our relationship... Anyway she enrolled for college this year and close to the time of starting said she didn't want to go. I told her how important an education is to a person and said I couldn't be with someone who didn't want to better themselves in life. Today was day one and she didn't go I don't know whether to finish our relationship or not...

I am 20 but from the age of 16-18 I was homeless and missed out on my education. I managed to get through that and now run a successfully company in the waste management industry. Although I do not drive I employ several drivers one of which is my p.a. And drives me around... I feel she thinks she can stay securely where she is by my side and not have to work... Or learn as I could support a family ( I am not planing to for a long time though)

That was just a little background on me if you can help or advise me in any way it would be appreciated

Many thanks Stewie

Quote:

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I couldn't be with someone who didn't want to better themselves in life.

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While you cannot expect her to see things your way, or even do what you want, I think you have to wait and see what HER plan is before you write her off. Do you live together? Have you asked her what her plans are for her future?

No I do not live with her and her plan was go to college. I have been in touch with her and she says its too much time consuming.. well college is but I don't know I think if she hadn't of met me sho would be there but I spoil her quite a lot and I do think she feels there is no need to work

Maybe its time for some honest communications. I would ask her if not college, then what? If she has no job, no future, no education, then you have a choice to make don't you?

For sure if you can't resolve this together, you have to resolve this apart.

I think you were right.
She should go to college.

Whether you did or not. BTW, Its never too late. People learn in lots of ways. Some people go to college & become presidents, some people, are still there & have learned very little. That's not the point, really. Its about this:

"said I couldnt be with someone who didn't want to better thereselfes in life"
Don't EVER define yourself based on someone else's comments. Especially negative ones like that.

That comment is a good insight into her. She put you down.

As far as your relationship moving forward, you may wish to let her do her thing.
And you do yours, with no pressure. Keep your distance.

You are both young. Don't get hung up on any one thing. Ever.
Eggs in one basket?

You have a good future. Don't sell yourself short.

Sorry, sometimes I transpose.

The points still hold true though. Maybe for later.

What I should have said, was she's young.
You too.

Don't babysit. Or be her Daddy,
Stop spoiling. You got w/her. You know the deal, why?
Its not for you to teach her. Sometimes we got to find that out on our own. You & her.

Don't discredit her. Please. You may be all she knows.
Talk. Exercise some patience. Talk, then talk more.

If you feel the same after that, then you have to think of what's best for you, not her.
She will figure it out. As you will.

May be that you want her for selfish reasons, but bash her when she doesn't live up to it.
You may be adding to her insecurities.

Thanks guys you all have helped a lot... by the way we broke up..
He insisted that college wasn't for her and she didn't want to do anything for a year... in the same sentence she digressed to needing hair extensions... I'm sorry but pul the other one was my basic reply... once again thanks for your comments stew

The monkey on your back is gone. Now you can get on w/your business.

Never force your expectations on someone. As much as you want her to succeed.
Help is one thing, but ulterior motives are another. Like hair extensions.

Like I said, she'll figure it out without you.

Now don't press it anymore or bug her.

Leave her alone now.

If her not going to school is under your standards then be strong, tell her not be a gold digger (exaggerating) and to go make something out of herself if she wants to be with you, if not then dump her. Be with someone that wants to grow with you not someone that is going to hold you back.

P.S. And congratulations on becoming successful, that is an excellent accomplishment!