I am new to this board but am in need of great help. I divorced about 4 years ago after being married 22 long years. Shortly after, I met this man that I really liked and he felt the same for me. We became close very quickly. He wanted to get married after being together for only a couple of months. I thought that was too soon as it seemed his intimate feelings for me were fading. Here it is four years later and we are still together (on and off) but seldom do we have sex. I have multiple sclerosis and he has always been with me during my down time with this disease and he is good to me, but there is noooooo passion on his part. I am 45 and he is 55. The first few weeks we were together he was a wonderful lover, so I know he can be. Also, he has not seen or dated any other woman since we met. He has never been married, but we have lived together at different points in our relationship. He says he loves me more than anything on earth and as I said he is very good to me. If I bring up the subject of romance or passion he says that I have watched too many movies or he gets mad. I've met a man that is very interested in me ( and is 11 years younger than me) but I would like to work on this on going relationship I have. Please Help.

Just follow your gut feeling.

Don't do it. Stick with the one you've got. It'll hurt you more (than it will hurt #1) when you see how hurt #1 is as a result. He has compassion. Tell me, what, then, is hreater than compassion? He loves you, as you said, more than the world, but you are wondering whether the younger guy who can "show" you that he loves you more than the world is more legitimate: no, he cant, #1 already has shown you, he loves you more than the world, and that should be what you carry for good. You were married for twenty-two years, how many times did you repeat saying "I do" during those years, some things are 1) felt, 2) not to be repeated.

Best of luck, its clear you actually love #1 a lot,

-J. Pa. the third Baron Samedi