I recently went through a pretty messy breakup, firstly I'm 17 and just finished year 12 and am in the transition into workig life and university and this breakup has really messed with my head of a lot of things. One thing I've found is that I really can't let go, at first I thought it was because I was in love and couldn't just give up but I'm starting to think I'm subconsciusly trying to keep hurting myself by reliving the pain of the breakup over and over but I don't understand why... I just get so angry at myself and don't know what to do say or act anymore, I don't know who I'm turning into but its not me

I would like to share this little story with you.

Your True Self ~

A distraught man approached the Zen master.
"Please, Master, I feel lost and desperate. I don't know who I am. Please, show me my true self!"
But the teacher just looked away without responding. The man began to plead and beg, but still the master gave no reply. Finally giving up in frustration, the man turned to leave.
At that moment the master called out to him by name.
"Yes!" the man said as he spun back around.
"Ahhh. There it is!" exclaimed the master.


Take care of you. Stay strong and stay above the battles.

Jay you said this was your first breakup. After the first break up the feelings are new. Your not sure what to expect. Add to that all these new things in your life your in kind of an emotional shock. Human beings fall into comfort zones and your not in your anymore. In fact your kind of in emotional limbo. The reason your getting mad at yourself your not in a comfort zone. In the mean time focus on things your comfortable with and then slowly branch out into thes new things. Break ups get easier as time pass and future break ups will be easier.

This will pass with time.

I refer you back to this posthttps://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/keep-getting-angrier-after-break-up-59187.html
Re-read the advce and don't be down just stay busy.