Me and my girlfriend have been together now for almost three years and when we first got together man the sex was incredible.now I'm lucky to get it once or twice a month I told her she need's to go see a doctor to get a pill or something.she's always making up some excuse as to when she want's to do it and I'm tired of it.that never happens I'm about to leave her and move on I can't take it anymore I'm 40 and so is she.should I just leave her hi and dry or just see what happens cause I really love her.told me if I buy her a harley she would marry me. Not if she don't start being a little more generous.if you know what I mean.

Sex and being in the mood for women is 95% mental, and 5% physical.

In other words, you need to turn on our BRAINS before our pants are even going to be close to coming off.

So... what's changed? Did you move in together? Kids? Health issues? Stress at work? No more romantic dates and making her feel special? If you live together, do you do at least 50% of the housework?

SOMETHING changed in the last 3 years, and I'm betting that if you can narrow down where that change was, you can figure out the problem in your sex life.

If you buy her a Harley she will marry you, and if she meets your sexual needs you might do so, have I got that right? Oh, and she needs to go get some pills to make that happen.

Sounds more like the terms of a business deal than a relationship to me. Do you two actually communicate with the aim of getting on the same page about things or just to see who can win the competition to get what they want out of the deal?

I would not buy her a Harley EVER! What you need to do is shop around for someone who is not a golddigger. Apparently she's under the misassumption that when you have sex with a man you can demand anything and get it just don't put out.

Find someone who is more into YOU than material things.

The more you give space to someone, more he/she expands, but do not make her think that you need her, she also needs you, or may need you. Actually, what you forget at this stage is that the need or urge for sexual gratification is same in men and women. Men say boldly, women share it in bed!

In terms of need-for-sex, both are homo sapiens, not men or women, separately, even as they become while speaking out their minds. Do not show yourself as possessive for her, let her go and she will come, for sure, believe me. Touch her 'there', rub her, but show as if you are not willing to 'do'. She will herself say - 'hey, man, come on, lets do!"

Try, and let me know if/that I am true!
I wait... Good luck!

PS - One more thing, play with her vagina, pubes, and pull the pubes softly, if they are... or shave the pubes yourself for her, or recall how she likes your penis to be - shaved or unshaved, and go to her with shaven pubic area, if she gets (used to - in past, if) excited or such stuff!

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Originally Posted by MIKE40

Me and my girlfriend have been together now for almost three years and when we first got together man the sex was incredible.now I'm lucky to get it once or twice a month I told her she need's to go see a doctor to get a pill or something (red Flag) .she's always making up some excuse as to when she want's to do it (Red Flag) and I'm tired of it.that never happens I'm about to leave her and move on I can't take it anymore I'm 40 and so is she.should I just leave her hi and dry or just see what happens cause I really love her.told me if I buy her a harley she would marry me (red flag). Not if she don't start being a little more generous.(red Flag) if you know what I mean.

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It sounds like there are lots of conditions to be met. A marriage of convenience and not of love. I agree with another that says this does not even sound like a relationship. I think instead of conditions and financial black mail. Maybe it is time to call it quits and move on. Not just because of the sex but many other reasons as well. Remember though it is not just one party to blame. Sounds like your putting all the blame on her, but both parties are to blame and you need to realize you have played your own part in this relationship of conditions. The only other thing is to have some counseling to see if there is a chance to work through things but both of you would need to be willing to do this. Not sure if that will happen though?

Was she serious about the Harley or was she joking around?

How do you handle talking to her about the issues? Do you attempt to find out if she is tired, stressed, having medical issues, taking medications that limit her libido, feeling pressured to have sex and it is turning her off, etc. Is your concept of working with her to solve the problem to tell her to 'go get a pill or something'?

At forty, her hormones may be causing problems for her as her body prepares for menopause. 'A pill or something' may not work for her. It would be something for her to discuss with her doctor. She could have other medical problems coming up that might cause her to not be able to have sex very often or at all for awhile.

If you can't handle going without sex and love isn't enough of a reason to stay with her, then why stay?