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-   -   My girlfriend said she needs a break (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=59444)

  • Feb 1, 2007, 10:30 PM
    LuckyOne84
    My girlfriend said she needs a break
    My girlfriend tonight told me that she wants 2 weeks. She says she's still committed to me and still loves me but she wants to take a 2 week break from the relationship to see what happens. She said she wanted to slow things down a little. She also said if we don't get back together we will still be friends. What should I do? I don't want to lose her. I Love Her so much.
  • Feb 2, 2007, 08:16 AM
    Bluerose
    Rule number one, Listen. She is being honest. Would you rather she made up some silly excuse in order to have some time to herself? Give her some space, stay friendly but back off for awhile. In the meantime don't go around looking like you have a strop on. If you see her look like you are doing okay - even if it's just an act. You will look more attractive to her if you look like your okay and not wallowing in self-pity.
  • Feb 2, 2007, 08:54 AM
    CLB1977
    I know this isn't what you want to hear

    If you love her set her free
    If she comes back she's yours to love
    If she doesn't than she never was yours to love from the start

    Everything happens for a reason... Keep your chin up... It will get better
  • Feb 2, 2007, 09:10 AM
    Geoffersonairplane
    Give her the space she asks for, you will achieve nothing if you smother her and come off as needy. She will respect you more if you respect her wishes and she will see you as more of a challenge too, not like a puppy dog type person that will run when she calls.
  • Feb 2, 2007, 02:14 PM
    lost??
    Women love a challenge, this is defiently the way to go. Don't get your hopes up about getting back together, but if you want her back your best chances are to give her the space she wants and let her come to you, don't contact her. Don't chase her... show her you're perfectly fine without her and you are... remember that
  • Feb 2, 2007, 03:48 PM
    Nosnosna
    Chances are, she wants two things from this break:

    First, she wants to see how she feels when you aren't around. Two weeks isn't much time to figure this out, but when there aren't any bad feelings behind the break, you can get to that point much more quickly.
    Second, she wants to see how you react to it. Too aloof, and you don't seem committed to the relationship. Too upset, and you look over-committed.

    People use breaks to do a number of things: to evaluate the relationship more objectively, to get time to think about taking a step deeper into the relationship, to consider ending the relationship, to deal with something personal that they don't want to drag their partner into, or to slow down the relationship a bit if they feel it's moving too quickly. There are more, but those come to mind immediately.

    Just respect her wishes on this, and don't worry about it too much. Take some time for yourself... read a book, spend some time with your other friends, fly a kite.
  • Feb 8, 2007, 10:16 PM
    talaniman
    Give her what she wants.
  • Feb 9, 2007, 03:15 AM
    little_princess
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by LuckyOne84
    My girlfriend tonight told me that she wants 2 weeks. She says she's still committed to me and still loves me but she wants to take a 2 week break from the relationship to see what happens. She said she wanted to slow things down a little. She also said if we don't get back together we will still be friends. What should I do? I don't want to lose her. I Love Her so much.

    I can relate to your girlfriend completely as I have been in a similar situation, and to be honest, the only reason I wanted a break was because (I hate to say this... ) I wanted to break up with him =[

    I was feeling trapped in the relationship and I felt like my boyfriend wasn't really the man for me after all, and instead of breaking it to him straight up, I decided to soften the blow by suggesting a break, and hoping he would get the hint if I didn't bother to call or text etc.

    This may not be the case of you and your girlfriend, I mean, my ex used to cheat and beat me around, but she may just feel like she needs the space to find herself again.

    When you have been in a relationship you tend to forget what its like to do things on your own or to simply just relax on your own. This break could make her realise her feelings for you, or simply show her that maybe you aren't the one for her. Either way, for her sake and yours, its best this dilemma is sorted sooner rather than later...

    If it turns out the break is genuinely just for her to "breathe" a little, then that's great!! If it turns out that she does want to split up, it may seem like the end of the world, but it's probably for the best! I'm sure you would rather not be in a relationship with someone when you know they are unhappy, and you would much rather let them go and do their own thing.

    Whatever happens... try to keep your head up! We go through all these experiences so we can learn from them, and in the end it does make you stronger and wiser. When you go through the bad times, it really makes you appreciate the good times!!

    GOOD LUCK =]

    XX
  • Dec 5, 2010, 07:07 AM
    bl1nk182
    Live as if you have already lost her. That's what this time apart is. A chance to see how things are w/out one another. I have been in your situation before. After reading what everyone else wrote on the topic I have to say it sounds like you have your choice of several fine options. I think being honest with yourself and her is the best policy. That being said you also have to learn to live for yourself. Not compromise your life for her wants/needs. Do things for you. Do the things you want to do. Go out. Meet girls. Hang out with your single buddies who have probably forgotten you are still alive. Do the things you always put off or say you will do but don't. Listen to music too. It's funny how every song will have a new meaning in your newly found state of mind.

    Collin Hay-I'm waiting for my new life to begin
    The Pettit Project- Time Apart

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