I'm a 30 year old woman and I've never had a boyfriend and I'm still a virgin. It's not by choice. I've tried everything from friends fixing me up, going to bars, and online dating and none of it has worked. I've tried flirting and putting myself out there but all I've experienced is rejection. I'm a good looking, intelligent woman that works hard at work and school. I'm not overweight or anything like that. I've tried finding men at school but they're either way older than me or jailbait.

I'm really embarrassed by this. Only two of my friends know and they're recently stopped talking about relationships because they know it upsets me and they don't want me to feel left out. I have nothing to add to these conversations. All of my friends are either married or in a relationship and it sucks. I feel like I'm being left behind. They have issues with their significant others and their kids and I have nothing to add as I've never been there. I just want what other people have. I'm tired of being alone and coming home to an empty apartment. I'm tired of sleeping alone. I just want a man to give me a chance.

All I keep hearing is "it'll happen when you least expect it" and other similar statements. I'm sick of hearing that too. I've tried keeping busy with work and school but in the back of my mind it's still there. I've only been on 3 dates and they never wanted to go on a second date with me. From their facial expressions when they came to pick me up, they weren't thrilled with my appearance. I do put a lot of effort in my appearance so I was insulted. I'm hoping someone can tell me why other people can easily find a man when not a one of them want anything to do with me.

What kind of social life do you have besides your married friends that are in relationships? 9 times out of 10, when someone says they can't find a date, or chances for romance, its usually they have no life that they enjoy, and very few friends, or acquaintances, or activities that they enjoy.

Is that YOU?

I think that you should try a but harder with the dating websites.
Although there has been quite a bit of bad press about them in the past, they really have come on in the past couple of years and there are a lot of reputable dating websites you can join for free, with thousands of members.
The good thing about dating websites is that you can be brutally honest. Rather than having to meet for the first time in a restaurant or having to make embarrassed excuses about leaving, you can put a picture of yourself up, tell everyone about yourself, even say that you're a little bit inexperieced and are looking for something meaningful. This way, the only people who will contact you will have already got to know and accepted everything about you that you may be insecure about. Then you can start talking and getting to know each other before, if at all, you decide to meet.

There are a few things you need to be careful about when talking to people over the internet though:
1) Never hand out your phone number or email address. You can easily send private messages through the site, and anyone you're talking to should respect this in the early days.
2) Never trust someone who only has one photograph of themselves on their profile and is unwilling to show you any more. All to often you hear of people pretending to be something they're not on websites, and it's all too easy to find a photograph of a random person through Google. If they are who they say they are, they will be more than happy to send you more pictures.
3) If after talking to someone you do want to meet up with them, try to meet on neutral ground, perhaps in a place that is in the middle of where you both live. Also, make sure it's somewhere like a restaurant or shopping mall, so you won't be totally alone with this person as, like I said, people can pretend to be something they're not over the internet, and if you start to feel uncomfortable, you don't want to be completely alone with them.
4) Just to make yourself feel a bit better, why not suggest a group meeting in a local bar or pub? If this person really does want to get to know you, they will understand and respect the fact that the first time you meet them you don't want to be alone. So take along a couple of friends and suggest he does too, that way it will also make it less awkward if you realise that perhaps he isn't the one for you.

Dating sites have been slated in the past, and sometimes for good reason, but there are thousands of people out there just like you looking for love. A member of my extended family met the love of his life on a dating website and we attended their wedding last November and he couldn't be happier. If it can happen for him it can happen for you!

I hope all goes well, perhaps update us in a few years time with wedding plans ;)

OK honey, although I'm only 17, I have been through this sort of thing. This is what I have for you: OK how do I put it... well, women are like apples I guess. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Other guys look up at those apples and think man, I really would love to have that one but I don't want to climb up there just to fall and get hurt. So the apples on top always wonder, what is wrong with me? Doesn't anyone want me? Because all the boys are too scared to get the better apples way up high, so they just pick the inferior, not as ripe, not as juicy apples from the bottom of the tree. The good apples on top just have to be patient and wait for the right boy to be brave enough to climb to the top of the tree and pick them, and then they will have their reward. Then the boys who wimped out will be disappointed because though they may have liked that apple before, they settled for one that wasn't as good and they will look back and think sheesh, I suck at life, because now that other boy has taken the apple I wanted but now I can't get it back. So my words of advice are this: think of yourself as one of the apples on the top of the tree. You just have to be patient and wait for the right boy to come and get you.