Hi

I have been dating this guy for six years now. I am 24 and he is 28. I really love him and I don't want him to go. He is damn lazy. But earning in a full time job which is not paying him according to his capabilities, and I know he can do much better if he tries.

He doesn't save and also has bad debt. But I know he is changing. But every mistake of his was getting to my nerves, so I told him to contact me only when he becomes something in life. I am fed of supporting, and suggesting him all the time. I make his monthly budget, and make him save etc. Is'nt that a too much of an effort? Is he worth marrying. I am tired to being the mother in the relationship.
Help.

Edited/T

Many issues

1. many people today are earning less than they used to. There are people who used to earn 60,000 making 10 dollars a hour at McDonald

2. next is he working at a job that makes him happy, I could easy make 100,000 or more at my Engineering profession but I prefer not to, I am happy making much less but at a job I love.

3. Budget, more people are poor money managers than are good. If you are good, great, help him, work with it, and see what you can do to help him.

You will need a lot more patience to stay, or marry this one. If you don't have it, then you just don't have it... BUT, that's what HE needs... MOM!

So does that mean I wait and watch? Today I spoke to him.. he sounded normal but I guess realized that sometimes good bye are forever and he is now scared of losing me. I have given him time till Christmas to show me some savings and also pay his debt.. which is absolutely possible if he budgets his salary properly ( I have already done that part- of budgeting his salary for next 4 months) . I have told him that if you can't save this amount of money then don't call me back.. am I being mean?

I wouldn't put up with it, but that's just me. You seem to have him by the nose, and he seems to love it.

You've given him until CHRISTMAS?? That's, like, months away. He needs to be accountable weekly, to show he is saving regularly, etc. Is there someone he can sit down with (not you) and work out a budget?

Only you can decide when it is "too much" of an effort, because effort is given depending on how much you value something. However, it can be frustrating to try to get somewhere in life when your current partner does not have the same ambitions or goals that you have. Maybe it is time to find someone that shares those things with you and that instead of you having to help up and support will actually be able to encourage and support your life dreams and goals. You will find that that relationship will be more fruitful and more enjoyable for you altogether, however for you to being looking for that right person, you do need to end the relationship in which you are committed to now.

Good Luck,
Javi