My boyfriend is a registered sex offender. Not as bad as it sounds really-there was a 3 1/2 year age difference and the girls parents found out. He is now 20 and we have a 1 month old baby girl. His probation restricts him from being around anyone under the age of 16 UNSUPERVISED. He got put in jail earlier this week for probation violations. My public health nurse reported that he was alone with my 5 year old sister and our daughter which is a lie, my parents and I have always been around and he has never been alone with either of them. There has always been an adult around. His public defender called me today to talk to me about things and said that he can't be around our daughter or anyone under 16 at all. We where never informed of this. I am only 17, shouldn't I or my mother have been notified that he couldn't be around our daughter under any circumstances? I am not sure what to do, he hasn't been alone with them but from what the public defender says it doesn't matter if someone was around or not he will still be in trouble. Here I am stuck trying to raise a baby by myself because of someone's lies.

I'm sorry, but your boyfriend sounds like a loser. You say its not as bad as it sounds. So there was a 3 1/2 yr difference and he's now 20. So lets say he served 2 years for his crime. That means he was 18 and having sex with a 14-15 yr old. So when he gets out of jail, he gets a 17 yr old pregnant. Doesn't seem to have learned what jail bait means.

I don't blame the PO for prohibiting from being with any children at all.

Your only hope here is finding an attorney not repulsed by his penchant for underaged females who can maybe get his probation changed.

He was 18 and she was 15, it happens ALL the time. These girls lie about their age and don't think about the consequences to other people. He didn't serve any time for it at all, just was put on probation. He just turned 20 two months ago. He was 19 when I got pregnant, a little over 2 years difference between us is not bad thing.
What I'm trying to say is that his crime was not molesting children, it was having sex with a barely underage girl. Now he can't even be around his daughter. Yet he's allowed to be around his 15 year old sister, what's the difference? In MN the age of consent is 16 and once you are 16 they allow a 36 month age difference before it's considered a crime. It's not like he has a problem with "underage females." His pyschosexual evaluation that he had to do showed that he doesn't have a problem therefore insurance won't cover the treatment his PO wants him to go through.
This is all just a big mess, he doesn't have some fetish for 3 year olds. He made a simple mistake.

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Originally Posted by cce42594

We where never informed of this. I am only 17, shouldn't I or my mother have been notified that he couldn't be around our daughter under any circumstances?

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Hello c:

In answer to your question, HE was informed about WHO he can be around and WHO he can't. IF he didn't understand it, that's HIS problem.

Whether WE think your boyfriend is a good guy or not, YOU must realize that the COPS DO think he's a BAD GUY, and they won't cut him ANY slack. This is a fact you BOTH are going to have to get used to for the REST OF HIS LIFE.

Now, to your problem.. I'm CERTAIN he can obtain permission to be around his own daughter. But, they're NOT going to willingly give it to him. It's going to take a lawyer to get it done. Very possibly the lawyer that he needs NOW can accomplish BOTH things at once.

excon

Yes, YOU are not told, he is, he was told and he should have known, but again, he should have known he could not have sex with 15 year old also.

You are making excuses since I am sure you only know his side of the story.

He needs a good lawyer, and they will have to prove he was alone with the children, if he was, he will go away to prison for a while again.

Her in GA a 18 year old having sex with a 15 year old, get most 18 year olds about 2 to 3 years in prison before parole.

He will be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life, he will have to register any and every time he moves for the rest of his life

To establish child support the worker from the county called to have me, him, and our baby come in for the DNA swabs. They are trying to get him in trouble for being with her at that time when they where the ones that had us all come to the office.
Can the county worker get in trouble for making up lies also? My whole family has been home every time my boyfriend has been here and she said that we told her they where alone together, like I said we never told her that because it never happened. My mom is going in on Monday to file a complaint but is that as much as we can do?
To be completely honest I know more than just his side of the story. I seen all of the e-mails the girl was sending him AFTER he got in trouble saying how much she loved him and that she was so sorry her parents found out. I've also talked to this girl who tried to be all buddy buddy with me and she says the same things he has told me.
I'm not making excuses for him, I realize that he should have known better but at least in the town I live in it happens all the time. 13-15 year olds are having sex with 18-20 year olds constantly. It's always these young girls acting way older than they are going out to parties getting trashed and sleeping with anyone that'll pay attention to them. I'm surprised that what happened in my boyfriends case hasn't happened to a lot more people.

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Originally Posted by cce42594

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I'm not making excuses for him, I realize that he should have known better but at least in the town I live in it happens all the time. 13-15 year olds are having sex with 18-20 year olds constantly. It's always these young girls acting way older than they are going out to parties getting trashed and sleeping with anyone that'll pay attention to them. I'm suprised that what happened in my boyfriends case hasn't happened to a lot more people.

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Actually you are making excuses for him. And if Im reading correctly you were 16 and he was 19 when you had gotten pregnant? I see the pattern here.

Yes there is a pattern and while you are protecting him with what you say, it is understandable.

At this point it is up to lawyers, judges and courts.

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Originally Posted by cce42594

at least in the town I live in it happens all the time. 13-15 year olds are having sex with 18-20 year olds constantly. It's always these young girls acting way older than they are going out to parties getting trashed and sleeping with anyone that'll pay attention to them. I'm suprised that what happened in my boyfriends case hasn't happened to a lot more people.

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Do you realize what you are saying here? Even giving that you live in a small town, can you really know what sexual activity is going on all over the town? The fact is you are guessing, you don't know. And maybe the fact that this hasn't happened to a lot more people tells you its not happening as much as you think.

And if the town is that small, he should have know how old she was. But it was his responsibility to make sure. I'm sure that someone at sometime explained the term jail bait to him. No, I stand by what I said. I think your boyfriend is not going to be a good husband/father in the future.

But be that as it may, the bottom line here is that you need an attorney to advocate for him. The PO, police. Social services and local law are going see him as we have. As someone who had sex with a 15 yr old and while on probation for that, got a 16-17 yr old pregnant.

They will view him as a danger to underage females. So the only way he's going to be able to do anything about this is with a good attorney as an advocate.