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-   -   My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex girlfriend and I took him back,mistake? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=593591)

  • Aug 19, 2011, 01:36 PM
    xxNeedHelpxx
    My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex girlfriend, and I took him back, mistake?
    Threads merged and edited/T




    I love my boyfriend with all of my heart, and he cheated on me with his ex at a concert. He made out with her, and his reason for doing that was because the song was slow and it was an "in the moment thing", I know he loves me, but he broke my heart. I still love him, and I took him back, and now I feel like it was a mistake because our relationship has no trust, and we fight all the time because of our lack of trust, someone help me please. I don't know what to do. I've thought about ending it a lot, but I love him so much, I can't do it.

    We have been very close for 2 years now, and we've been in a relationship for a while now, I love him to pieces but our relationship is not working out. Seeing him with another girl would kill me. In the past he has cheated on me with his ex once, and he has made up for it a lot, but recently I found out a month ago he had a picture of a girl in her bra on his phone, he asked for the picture, and I don't know how to deal with this? We weren't officially dating at the time, but we were still very close.

    He told me he has no contact with her anymore, but I have no proof. I know he loves me, which is why I don't understand why he does this if he knows it hurts me. I've put up with way too much, and I'm not sure why I deal with it. I love him with all my heart, maybe that's why but I need help, I need advice because I'm at my breaking point, and I don't know how to deal with this.

    We have no trust (because of him) but we were willing to work on it. Is it time to let him go? Or should we continue working on our relationship?

    We both love each other, but I've given him way too many chances. Help?
  • Aug 19, 2011, 02:09 PM
    anonymous11
    Why does it feel like we are in the same boat.. sort of? :(

  • Aug 19, 2011, 02:12 PM
    xxNeedHelpxx
    Has this happened to you?
  • Aug 19, 2011, 02:42 PM
    dontknownuthin
    Love and care for another person is not enough to sustain a relationship. Your boyfriend asking a girl for a picture in her bra is very odd and immature behavior, and even if you were on a break, clearly you were still contemplating being together and he was a jerk for immediately getting involved with other girls.

    Break up with him and take a break from dating generally. Enjoy your friends, have fun and take some time to think about why you want to be in a relationship with someone who has so little respect for himself or for you. No man should be asking a woman for a picture of herself in her bra - that would be a weird request even for a man to make of his wife. It shows a real lack of respect for women to ask for something like that, because it's not in the woman's best interest to be photographed like that.

    Find a more mature guy who knows how to treat a woman of quality, and make sure as well that you keep your personal standards high. You don't have to reduce yourself to the standards of these jerks who make women into nothing more than sex objects to be mistreated and cheated on.

    Take care.
  • Aug 19, 2011, 02:50 PM
    anonymous11
    Yes, we are both with immature guys who act on selfishness. They say the love us and manipulate our feelings. They want the best of both world, a comfortable relationship to come home to and also the single life. It hurts to be with them and it hurts not to. You feel like you click on so many levels and he's perfect if only he didn't have this flaw correct? Read my post. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like we are in a similar situation.
  • Aug 19, 2011, 03:46 PM
    vanheart
    You value him more than he does you.

    That's obvious.

    If he can't decide between you & his ex, then make that decision for him & split.
  • Aug 19, 2011, 03:58 PM
    talaniman
    Your situations are not similar, but the solution is the same, love yourself half as much as you say you love them, and stop allowing bad behavior. That's why you get more of it.
  • Aug 19, 2011, 05:41 PM
    xxNeedHelpxx
    Thank you everyone, I've talked to him about this and he said he's changed since then and he said the picture was from a few months ago( we weren't officially dateing but still good friends), should I let that go or let him go because of it?
  • Aug 19, 2011, 06:24 PM
    dontknownuthin
    Let him go. This relationship is more hurtful than not. Pay more attention to his actions than his words. Words are cheap - what he means is what he does, and what he does stinks.
  • Aug 19, 2011, 06:27 PM
    xxNeedHelpxx
    Its going to be hard, and its going to take a while to recover because I love him, but thank you

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