He is 39 years old and I am 28 years old. We have been living together for these past 5 years and I am always nagging him to get married, especially now that we have a son together. He has never been married before has two other children 20 & 11 with two different women. He is a good father to his kids but seems to have some commitment issues, obviously. I asked him the other day what would happen to his son & I if something happened to him, since we aren't married I wouldn't get the house or be able to give the same lifestyle we have now to our son. (He makes about 3 times what I make) I said to him if we were married I wouldn't have to worry but since we are not I do and if he cared he would do something about it like check his life insurance, have a trust,etc. He stated last night that he works too much to have to think about things like that and that I was selfish because I was thinking just about myself and if he was dead how much money I would have to live on the gravy train probably with some other man living in his house. This has really hurt me to believe that he is never going to marry me and he doesn't care what happens to me if a tragedy occurs. I'm really considering leaving him but don't want it to affect my son.

Seeing that he's gotten the milk for free in 3 relationships do you honestly think this little boy who needs to grow up will do so now? No. He's been happily unmarried despite what anyone tells him to the contrary. You should have known when you hooked up with him he's a sperm dumper who wants NO strings at all. He is extremely selfish to put it mildly. Does he even pay child support for the two other children? Probably not unless he is forced to do this. He says YOU are selfish as he likes to turn the tables and make it seem that you are the one in the wrong, not him. It's the old transferral routine going on here. I've leave this selfish jerk. It should not affect your son as you can file for child support and get it if he's on the BC. Obviously your relationship is not going anywhere too fast.

He paid child support for the older one until she owed him money, then she signed him off it. The second one yes $400 a month. I know he always makes every thing seem like I'm the one who is always wrong, I tell him that all the time, stating I am not selfish I just care about his son & I's future, especially since we aren't married. He says I will marry you but not if you act moody all the time, stating I will never be happy, first it was wanting the kid, then to have me on his life ins,etc then blah blah blah...

He's got a pat answer for everything, doesn't he? Best to shove off and find another loveboat as this guy is NOT going to marry you or anyone else EVER. He just wants a live in girlfriend with cleaning, cooking benefits. The fact you wanted a child and he really didn't speaks volumes here. If a man has to be nagged into getting married, then he is definitely not looking out for your well being. And the ridiculous idea of you living high on the hog off his life insurance proceeds is strictly a macho thing that many men think of (this is far from new). He needs to live by himself and pick up his own clothes, wash them himself, cook his own food and clean up afterward. Right now he's NOT seeing the big picture here but just what he wants to acknowledge. Quite typical. Am shocked he even let you have a kid.

LOL your right. I just need to move on but it just cracks me up to think OK dude let's see the big picture, I gave you a son that has your name, that I let you pick out your two other kids don't even have your last name since you weren't with them at the time they gave birth.. you told me you would marry me now it's been 5 years and a child later and still no ring.. he will probably never marry anyone as he thinks all women want is to take his money.. give me a break.. I don't want your money.. I just want a family.. he says I let you have my kid.. ha ha.. lol

Just because he isn't handling his business doesn't mean you have to be as lax as he is. Get insurance on him, get child support, and get gone.

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Originally Posted by gruberm

LOL your right. I just need to move on but it just cracks me up to think OK dude let's see the big picture, I gave you a son that has your name, that i let you pick out your two other kids dont even have your last name since you weren't with them at the time they gave birth..you told me you would marry me now it's been 5 years and a child later and still no ring..he will probably never marry anyone as he thinks all women want is to take his money..give me a break..i don't want your money..i just want a family..he says i let you have my kid..ha ha..lol

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Now you're seeing the big picture. He's just a kid and never will grow up. Do you want a kid or do you want a man? These days there are too many kids out there disguised as full grown men taking women's emotions and stomping on them and thinking it's funny. There are too many kids who are nagged into getting married who then take revenge on the one who nagged them into getting married. Then the woman really suffers. Glad you came to your senses before you are too old to leave him and start a new life with someone else.

You desesrve better. It may take awhile to find the right guy, but this guy is not ready to get married EVER.