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-   -   Age differnce of a relationship (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=593000)

  • Aug 15, 2011, 08:03 PM
    ludakris001
    Age differnce of a relationship
    Hi I'm turning 18 in the beginning of march and I am dating a 14 year old which is turning 15 August 20th and I just wanted to make sure that if we had sex it wouldn't be considered rape or anything cause I really don't want to get in any trouble. Also everyone in my family keep telling me that it would be considered rape but I don't believe then and I truly love this person.

    Thank you
  • Aug 15, 2011, 08:14 PM
    Tori89
    If I were you I would wait until she turn 18. I know you two are in love but you should wait so that no one can keep you from each other.
  • Aug 15, 2011, 08:27 PM
    J_9

    It depends on where you live as to whether it's rape.

    Are you prepared to be a father? Do you have your diploma? Do you have a good job?

    Keep your worm in it's pants until you are in and adult committed relationship.
  • Aug 15, 2011, 08:46 PM
    Cat1864

    To be able to answer the legal aspect of your question, we would need to know what country or state you live in.

    To answer the moral aspect, I suggest waiting for any sexual contact until you are both over 18.

    There are a few reasons for this suggestion:

    1. Waiting gives you time to get to know each other and how to communicate as a couple without sex being a factor. It is too easy to use it to mask the problems in a relationship.

    2. No form of birth control short of removal of reproductive organs is 100% effective. Several of the very active posters on this site have gotten pregnant while correctly using birth control.

    3. You are both very young. You are both at different stages of your lives. It may not seem like a big difference to you right now, but the next few years are going to test how strong your commitment to each other is. There is no reason to add more complications to work through than there already will be.

    Don't be in a rush to grow up. You are almost there already and you won't believe the changes you will experiencing in this next year alone.
  • Aug 16, 2011, 04:41 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    In very few places is it legal for a 18 year old to have sex with a 15 year old. I know of almost no place where it is for a 14 year old.

    So in almost every place, ( you did not say where) you will be a rapist and a sex offender for the rest of your life.
    If anyone reported you, her parents, her best friend who gets jealous, girlfriend if she gets mad. And so on.

    Next are you ready to pay child support or be a father ?
  • Aug 19, 2011, 12:55 AM
    DeathAngel16
    Where I live you have to wait till she is 16 and you must have 1 parents consent to even date her. But if you live in a place where sex is legal at the age of 16 then you are aloud to have sex with her because she doesn't count as a minor in that area only in the drinking part.
  • Aug 19, 2011, 11:59 AM
    ScottGem
    If you truly love this child, then you would not even be considering having sex with her. Your family is right, there is a strong probability it would be considered statutory rape. But even if its not, unless her parents give her permission to date, you could be running afoul of the law that way.

    But the real bottom line here is that she is too young. Having sex with her at her age is exploitation, even if she consents. If you truly love her, you will wait until you have both confirmed your feelings AND you are prepared to have a child.
  • Aug 24, 2011, 06:49 PM
    mmresd
    I in no way encourage that you have sex, instead I will now recommend for you to wait a few years before you make such a big decision, because the decision you make will mold you for the rest of your life. It can be either positive or negative, there is no way to know that now. However as far as law goes, at least in Texas, it is not illegal for a 17 year old to have sex with a 14 year old, it is just sick. Also, if he loves you, he will respect your decision to not have sex and will not pursue it further.

    Good Luck,
    Javi

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