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-   -   Long term truthful relationship but now, we both are not happy. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=592893)

  • Aug 15, 2011, 08:49 AM
    Semmy12
    Long term truthful relationship but now, we both are not happy.
    I and my fiancé were in relationship for 8 years. I'm 24 and he is 28. My family was not ready for our marriage due to social status, but I convinced them by hook or crook. Now we are engaged. I belong to rich family but my fiance's financial condition is pretty good but not as strong as my family's. Due to the family status problems, I requested my fiancé to present me some expensive gift in front of my family (just to show them off). He was agreed for so many times and managed to give gifts to me. But now he gets irritated with it. Today, we both had a fight. He was talking for getting over with this relationship. I, in anger, told him that I was also not happy with him.

    I sometimes, feel that my desires and my demands could not be met by my fiancé. But he has done all the possible efforts for me. Now, I can't tell my parents that I want to break this relationship. Moreover, I even don't want to break up this engagement because I'm madly in love with him and so does he.

    I'm afraid if my this behavior would have long term negative effect on our relationship. Because we have started arguing so much. He blames me, and I blame him. We always stuck on some topic and start the arguments.

    Now I'm worried if my this behavior would affect my relationship? Please help me. What should I do?

    Thanks
  • Aug 15, 2011, 09:42 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    Sorry, give you a costly gift, in front of family to show off, that is so much bull and so silly I don't think it really deserves an answer. It seems petty and shallow.

    They have agreed to the wedding, there is no need to put on a show for them. If money is tight and he is not wealthy you are asking too much.

    It sounds like you are more interested in gifts and things, if so you needed a rich man that would give you things but no love.

    I feel you need to look into your soul and decide what is important to you
  • Aug 15, 2011, 11:44 AM
    anonymous11
    I understand this might be a cultural thing that families often need to "save face" or try to marry within the same social class. However, you need to explain to your family how well he treats you and that is what you look for in a relationship. This is YOUR happiness, not theirs. You acknowledge that he's done all he can to make you happy, so what more could you want. I think if you don't change, you will lose him. Not many men are willing to jump to hoops like that to begin with. He needs to know that you marry him for him, not for what those superficial things you demand. If you are madly in love with him, then set aside your ego and stupidity before you lose him for good.
  • Aug 15, 2011, 04:04 PM
    talaniman

    Stop treating him like a pet, and treat him like the man you want to marry.

    Its stupid to humiliate the guy in front of your family. Imagine how he feels, when you are so ashamed of him that you play games in front of your family.

    That's really sad, you are ashamed of the guy you are going to marry.
  • Aug 15, 2011, 11:27 PM
    vanheart
    You will always have family.

    Love? Well, that's up to you.
  • Aug 16, 2011, 02:27 PM
    I wish
    Which country are you guys from?

    Some people don't have money to buy food and you're asking him to use money to buy you gifts to impress your parents?

    I understand that you value your parents' opinion very highly, but if money is really the only reason why you can't be together with their blessing, then it sounds more like your parents' problem, not yours or your fiancé.

    If you really love each other, money should not be the thing that gets between the two of you, especially when both of you have enough money to buy food for each other.

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