Hey and thanks for reading..
I am 25 and my girlfriend (very soon to be my wife) is 21, we been together for a good 10 years but been a item for the last 5.
I think she may have been raped or molested as a child as in our (being a item) period we made love only twice, she was 20 and 21..
And both times it ended with crying and saying things like 'pls don't hurt me' or 'i am scared'
Besides sex she does give oral and 'handjobs' but she won't allow me to return the favors?
We do (and by we I mean my love and I) have a 'porn' fetish and some 'stuff' my love downloads and reads is (japanese doujins or fanmade mostly sexual stories of anime) try www.thedoujin.com to see what I mean..
Rape and lolicon are 2 of the most categories she looks up, rape you know.. and lolicon is where a preteen girl is shown in or having sexual relations. She does masturbate to this and in bed (as having sex) but still I am not allowed to touch..
At first I thought it was me and I got so depressed, face it I am not a looker, over weight and kind of... small there...
And she she's super hot!! She's thin and delicate, a dark olive flawless soft skin and beautiful dark eyes
What she saw in me, to me its lost.. I am not in her category I am a 3 and she is a 9!! But I thank God every time I see her, I am blessed..
I am a softie.. I am gentle with a big heart, very caring and pasient. I ll rather take a punch then give it. Like with the sex.. I am not experienced and don't mind not 'doing it' so I don't ask or put pressure on her!
Like I said I got depressed but after looking at all these 'clues, stuff she said porn choices her sexuality and her manerisms..
I came up with rape, if so I need help to help my better half! She doesn't talk about that.. but has let slip some stuff. We were watching a porno she found somewhere and she said this but I don't think she noticed.. 'she also will be hurt and touched'
She constantly bathes and changes her attire??
Please help