Ask Me Help Desk - What to do

I have 2 girls(6 and 2) and 1 one the way due in about 10 weeks.Me and my daughters mother were together 6 1/2 years and broke up about 2 months ago due to non stop fighting.I have been trying to stay away for these past 2 months so we don't fight in front of our daughters.Now I moved on and I am with someone else who my ex does not like and she says she hears things about but has no real validation on what she hears.She will not let me take my daughters anywhere! The only time I can see them is at home and she is now going to domestic relations(something she said she would never do)for child support.I have always been here for my children financially and emotionally except for these last 2 months and I admit that. My question is is it really worth fighting for? She will not give at all! She wants us to be together but I do not want to be with her I am very happy in my new relationship.She always has a reason why I can't do anything with them whether its something she has heard about my new girlfriend or whatever but its always something. My new girl also has a daughter that is 22 months and is a great mother but she is not trying to be my kids mother (something my ex is very afraid of) and I am not trying to be a father to her child just be there when we are all together and that's all! But I have been thinking of signing over my rights to my children even though I love them and I want to be a part of their lives but as I said she is making it very very hard for me. I hope I gave enough info any advice will be appreciated

One reason for Family Court is to try to put a lid on fighting. If she is taking you to court, go, or you lose by default. She can't stop you from seeing your children unless she convinces the court with proof that you are doing something negligent or abusive. You will work out all the details while there, including money, and file again if things change over the years.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bfalba1

ibut i have been thinking of signing over my rights to my children even though i love them and i want to be a part of their lives but as i said she is making it very very hard for me. i hope i gave enough info any advice will be appreciated

What a contradiction in terms!You want to be a part of their lives but you want to cut your rights off?What's the purpose?

However you may try to settle the case.
You may settled it out of court though a mediator.If the mother does not agree,you must settle it in the Court through Custody determination.
The laws vary from state to state but generally there are several types of custody:
1.Physical Custody-it means that a parent has the right to have a child live with him or her. Some states will award joint physical custody to both parents when the child spends significant amounts of time with both parents.Where the child lives primarily with one parent and has visitation with the other, generally the parent with whom the child primarily lives will have sole physical custody, with visitation to the other parent. / Have in mind that if she does not follow a visitation order she will be able to be held in contempt/
2.Legal Custody-it means having the right and the obligation to make decisions about a child's upbringing. A parent with legal custody can make decisions about schooling, religion, and medical care, for example. In many states, courts regularly award joint legal custody, which means that the decision making is shared by both parents.

The physical and legal custody may be:
1Joint Custody/ in some jurisdictions it is called shared custody/
Joint custody may be:

a/joint legal custody
b/joint physical custody (where the children spend a significant portion of time with each parent), or
c/joint legal and physical custody.
Also you have to be ready to pay child support according to your state's guidelines.
2 Sole custody
Try to figure to you what exactly do you want.

Get a lawyer, she cannot keep you from your children unless you have caused them harm. If you are good and kind to your children and you are supporting them, you have every right to see them regardless of what your significant other wants. As long as you are not intoxicated in anyway around your kids and you are treating them appropriately, you other half has no recourse. If you do the right thing, the law will require her to allow visitation. Also, consider and possibly even suggest mediation, so everyone is on the same page and the kids don't suffer for someone's immaturity.