My sons biological father has not seen him since we were 1 yr old and now he is 7yrs old and I have been with my husband since he was 2 yrs old and he is the only father knows he has not came around or made and attempt and he was never put on the birth certificate, so is he still entitled to his consent, also we have never been to court for custody he just disappeared. So custody had never been established and he is not on the birth certificate so is there any way he has a say? I hope not cause he never had a say in the rest of his life.

How long have you been married?

Do you know where your son's father lives?

We just got married last week, but we have been together for 5 years. And no I don't know where he lives. He is bad news so I try not to find him.

If he isn't on the birth certificate and we have never been to court he doesn't have any rights right?

Of course he has rights! He's the real father.

Are you in the U.S.

Of course he has rights.

And if you try to go through with an adoption without a good faith effort to contact him, he can show up and overturn the adoption---and possibly win custody based on your lies.

If you want your husband to adopt, here's what you do:

1. Get a lawyer. You CAN do adoption without a lawyer, but you can also set a bone without a doctor. I don't recommend either.
2. Stay married a year. Most states require that you be married at least a year before an adoption can happen.
3. Make a good faith effort--with the help of your lawyer--to contact the biological father and gain his consent.
4. If he will NOT consent--go after him for child support. As much as you can get. A lot of times fathers who are uninvolved and withholding permission out of spite are willing to sign away their rights if it means ending child support. You should be getting support from him ANYWAY, but I'll not go into that for now.
5. SOME courts will allow an adoption even without consent if you can PROVE that the biological father is a DANGER to the child. Do you have that kind of proof.

Finally--does your child understand that your husband is NOT his biological father? You don't have to tell him much about your ex, but he DOES deserve to know his biological history. YOU have no idea whether that knowledge might someday save his life (kidney donor, bone marrow transplant, whatever). It's ALSO not a good idea to LIE to your child about his parentage--it makes YOU the bad guy in the end, because YOU were the one that LIED. And if you lie about WHO the parent is, how in the world would the child believe you when you tell him what kind of person that parent is? If you haven't come clean (and I have no reason to believe you haven't been honest from the beginning--just words of caution in general), then I suggest you do so as soon as possible.

First, ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

In most areas you need to be married for at least a year for a step parent adoption.

Most areas also require that the biological or legal parent must be given the opportunity to contest such an adoption. That means you have to try and get his permission. As noted, you really need an attorney to prepare the adoption petition. So you can start shopping around for an attorney now. They will explain what you have to do to show that you tried to contact the bio father.

The likelihood is your husband will get to adopt, but you have to go through the correct legal process to get it done.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Synnen

... SOME courts will allow an adoption even without consent if you can PROVE that the biological father is a DANGER to the child. ...

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The requirements for allowing a step-parent adoption without the consent of the biological father vary from state to state. In many state's it's not necessary to prove he is a danger, but that he has, for example abandoned the child in some way. Your attorney will be able to tell you what you have to show in your state. But the biological father has to be notified of the adoption petition.

Without finding him and without him signing his rights over, it is a much more expensive court process. Each state ( in the US , since you have not said where you are at) have their own rules, in general they want you to be married for at least a year, but will also view long term relationship in other states.

An attempt to find him and notify him of the court action will be required in most, according to their rules. After that normally most will have you publish the court dates as a form of notification. But again rules do vary.

Then you will go to court on the issue.

It is very complicated and not always "user friendly" so I would advise an attorney