Hi,
I am 23 years old Brahmin girl. I am into a relationship with a non-brahmin guy since 7 years.He is 25. We love each other a lot and I cannot think of life without him. My parents are looking for a brahmin alliance for me.I introduced him as my best friend at home. But my parents are strongly opposing as they have serious doubt on us.They want me to marry a brahmin guy only as they think brahmins are well cultured. He is from a good family and they accepted me as their daughter in law.He always have helped my family in need. But my parents are not understanding they are blackmailing me emotionally. My dad says if I would marry him he'll leave home and will never come again. What should I do?? Please suggest me. I want to marry him without breaking my parents hearts.

'He always have helped my family in need.'
In what ways?
What are your and his education and possibilities for good careers, or do you want to be a mother and homemaker?
In the old days, caste was a way for families to know that a child would be secure. These days, with education and computers changing the world, anyone can do well. Gently and slowly bring articles (look all over the internet) about this to your parents' attention. But if he doesn't have good career prospects, you might have to simply lose the ties with your family and marry him, and join his family.

I am a BCA graduate and he did his diploma in chemical engg. But he is working in a good company with fair salary package as he recently joined this industry.earlier he was working in IT telecom industry. I am sure that he will achieve a good success in this field too. As the only son to his parents he has many responsibilities. He doesn't have time to study. He has to travel on various sites as per his job demands. So we both think is also one reason that my parents would object to. If d caste only matters then y not in their case.Yes, parents' marriage is also intercaste one. My mother belongs to a non brahmin south indian family and my father is Maharashtrian brahmin.

That is so sad that your mother would object after not being a Brahmin herself. Can you have a heart to heart talk with her alone? Maybe she thinks she has to object, or had difficulties with your father's relatives that were painful for her when you were little, and she doesn't want you to go through that. But times have changed even in the last 20 years. Bring up love but not right away; just encourage her to talk privately.

If u love him truly and if Ur confident that he will take care of u then go ahead... no parents will encourage love marriage that too in India!. U can tell Ur parents about his good habits and all good things about him m sure Ur parents will definitely agree. All the best:)

Let me tell you a story of one of my Indian friend, an inter-religion marriage. She is from down south, I guess Tamil Nadu. Her sister (Hindu) was in love with a Christian guy. The girl's parent did not approve of their marriage, because they were not ready to face their relatives who were opposing this. 6 years. 6 Years, this girl was so strong in her decision, but did not hurt her parents by doing any stupid stuff, but waited firmly saying that she loves him and him only and will not marry somebody else. Also, she could do it, because her boyfriend stood by her side, and understood what she was going through. Finally her parents had to agree, they got married 2 years ago, and trust me, everyone is happy now, and it's a happy ending.

So, be firm in your decision, get the support from your partner. Your parents will definitely understand you. They will. That time will come

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Originally Posted by BK201

So, be firm in your decision, get the support from your partner. your parents will definitely understand you. They will. That time will come

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In India, the caste factor is getting more dominant, even as the world seems to be sort of liberating. This may be due to several factors, as the people are no doubt, using modern, ultramodern stuff, gadgets and even their look is getting mod or super-mod, if we say, but the side effect of 'busy' life and indulgence in these modern matters/things have made the people lazy and materialistic. Moreover, they do not think deep, but skin-deep. Their thinking is getting corroded and they are not progressive in terms of thinking. They do not think deep, and have no interest in literature, or rational thinking, as TV, which should foster logical thinking and should usher in progressive revolution is making people irrational and superstitious, and that is the reason that even the girl or daugther of an inter-caste married couple is not allowed to 'ape' their parents. What can be the worse example or instance?

Usually, such marriages or alliances are motivated, as it is taken for granted that such couples will surely encourage their children to break age-old social norms. But, it is also truth, that the social pressure might have forced this couple to retreat, and also- possibly - their alliance might have been out of sheer 'love' for each other, and not the intercaste marriage or such trend, pathbreaking, which is!

For you, I know the mind of Indian Brahmins, and their social milieu. You must work on this topic from parental inter-caste angle only, by using the methods of emotions and logic. Tell them, that "if you can, why not I?" Tell them that you are ready to face the world, and will stand by them/parents, always. Be serious, and be with them, and at least behave as if you will do whatever they will allow. Do not be at loggerheads with them, rather, sit with them, and talk and agree with them on most of the matters, and win their heart and then - their approval. But, you must take them in full confidence that you are not going to do anything, out of their approval.

Ask for their approval for even 'petty matters', for example - when you go to parlour for a haircut, take your mother along, and get her one, too! When you go for getting eyebrows made, take your mother along. Ask you father for certain favours, and bring him gifts, what he likes, I mean a watch, a book or even fruit!

And, if these 'tactics' do not work, then go for BREAK, and marry that boy, but before that make sure he will take care of you, that he has the guts, confidence (in himself and you) and the 'capacity' and that he will really stand by you, even in thin, but to talk of thick and thin!

Dear All ,

There is a way to bring happy end to this problem. First of all spend a lot of time talking with your parents making them understand " caste is not problem " and make them understand by giving better example by asking several questions like this , if a doctor said "i cure only patient belongs to my caste then think treatment for other caste people , if farmer said i agriculture food only for my caste people then think about other caste man for food , If caste is important then why we eating food which is agriculture by other caste man ? why we living in home which is built by other caste man ? " like this ask many questions unanswerable by them. After all these things still they are stable with decision atlast ask a question to them """" For me you parents are very important but for you parents caste became too important then your daughter ??? Your relatives decision became too important then your daughter life ??? let it be do as you wish , be happy ........""" stay calm and be unhappy don't talk to them more after saying this their heart will feel something bad about themselves which they never felt before even they cannot look for a groom for you something will stop them because it is against your wish so they will comedown to you . Move patient my friend got succeed his love story by silent war , This will bring good end . As ghandhiji non voilence movemnt ahimsa

Mera ek friend hai ek ladke se love karti hai but us ladka k ghr wale nahi maan rahi love marge k lye... how he convence our parent for inter cast marrige... please suggest help me...

The Ans is simple
Go to Advocate's office tell him your problems an ask him to court marriage first
I am also suffer from this situation but I am under age. Jab apke friend k pass court marriage proof hoga to police bhi uspe koi action nhi le sakti aur naa hi koi family case chalta hai unki marriage k khilaaf. I think it is better than anything. And court marriage k baad aap chaho to frnd'z you family, or other relatives ko party de sakte hain. Iske bad jab aap ghar jaoge to ghar walo ko apko apnana hi padega nhi to kuch der door raho saare khud hi maan jayenge. Yeah! This is better from anything where the cast, relegion, or other problems are ouccers.

I have a boy friend,he is a muslim and I am a hindu .we have been dating for a year. We have come to a asituation wherein we can't live withiut each other
His parents and my parents (my dad) is totally against this. He told me that he wants everybody's approval, only then he ll marry me,please advice.my situation is like hell.