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-   -   Boyfriend broke up with me because he is depressed. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=590391)

  • Jul 31, 2011, 10:47 AM
    maggiemoomoo
    Boyfriend broke up with me because he is depressed.
    Me and my boyfriend have been friends for over a year and in January/February started dating. He has struggled with many family and money problems through his life and suffers from depression and bipolar problems. Two years ago he attempted suicide. Two days ago he picked me up to hang out and we went to his "spot" a place on a lake. The whole ride we were talking and joking, it was fine. Then when we got there I knew he just wanted to think. He grabbed my arm with tears coming down his cheeks and said I think we should break up. A few months ago he told me that if he ever got to a point where his head got the better of him and he couldn't take care of me or treat me the same he would break up with me to save me. He restated this and told me that his head is so messed up right now he doesn't know what to think at all. He is going to college soon and has recently had a falling out with many of his friends. He started sobbing uncontrollably and grabbed me saying everyone has abandoned him but me and he doesn't know what to do anymore. He doesn't know what he is going to do at school with me not with him. He is so scared that I won't be there and said "what am i going to do? call you everynight? pay for you to come see me every weekend?" And I respinded by saying yes. I am always there for him. I love him. He told me I need to keep texting him and calling him and hanging out with him and I'm the only person he wants to see before he leaves. He told me last week he almost attempted to kill himself for the first time in 2 years, but when he thought of me, he didn't. He told me I am the reason he wakes up every morning and wants to live. He seriously loves me more than anything. The whole time this was happening he was just crying and crying. He was crying on my shoulder and would never let go of me whether he was holding my leg, hand, or arm. I am so scared and I don't know what to do. He needs me and I don't think this is the best thing for him right now. He is puching me away and I dotn know what it will do for his health. He told me to text him the next day and when I did he responded immediately and talked until he fell asleep. I don't know if he really wanted to break up or if he just didn't know what to do. Im scared to leave him alone. Help!
  • Jul 31, 2011, 11:08 AM
    Wondergirl

    He needs to see someone for his mental health and maybe even be given meds to get him over these speed bumps of going off to college and dealing with changes in his life. If he has been given meds, is he taking them?

    Was he formally diagnosed, or are the bipolar and depression diagnoses his own conclusions?

    You cannot be there day and night to "rescue" him from himself. You do realize that, don't you?
  • Jul 31, 2011, 02:00 PM
    deepsad
    Your boyfriend is in a very fragile and vulnerable state as is obvious from the facts you have stated. Has he gone for any counselling for his issues? It would be best if you could find a way to take him in for professional counselling and officially get him diagnosed for depression. The way things are going he seems to be keeping you hanging by a string as well as himself.
    You can't always be there for him and save him from all the problems he encounters. Normal life will become hard for him to deal with and it'll be harder on you because you'll be constantly thinking about his safety and comfort.
    Professional help at this point is the best bet.
  • Jul 31, 2011, 05:29 PM
    talaniman

    Get him to go see a doctor ASAP. Is there someone he trust that can help you convince him? Find them fast!

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