Hi. My GF and I are together for 10 months, although we started having sex a month ago. She was a virgin, and since we had sex about 6-7 times. The problem is, she's just not enjoying it! This is quite embaressing, but we're open with each other and talk about it often. I reckon she's still a little nervous though, but I just don't know what to do in order to give her pleasure!
Would be glad for tips..

Thanks.

Due to posting restrictions on the Adult Sexuality Board, please give your ages.

We are both 24.

Lot of possibilities... any one or combination of the following.

#1. You aren't good at it. (don't take it personal, you have to listen and take directions from her, its not about you... please her, its easy to please yourself)

#2. You aren't doing it in a way she would like it. (which she might not know how to answer)

#3. She's nervous (you have to understand WHY she's nervous and deal with them appropriately)

#4. She might be that rare woman that doesn't respond like most do. (in which case some professional help would be in order)

#5. Lack of sufficient or proper foreplay before you jump on top. (again, a lot of fun is getting there. Listen and watch, see what she responds to and do it)

When she masterbates does she enjoy it ? Does she tell you what she likes and how she likes it,
Does she guide you, what to do.

Do you do lots of foreplay ( not 5 or 10 min) but lots before sex

Communication & foreplay helps a lot.. get her in the mood, don't just go for it. As you feel that she is not enjoying it so you have work harder to please her.

EDITED TO REMOVE CHAT SPEAK

Start with communications. How do you know she isn't enjoying sex? Has she told you what about it she doesn't enjoy?

Are you picking apart your lovemaking sessions trying to figure out what to do? Are you trying too hard to please her the way you think she she should want to be pleasured? Do you try to do the same things with her that you did with past girlfriends?

Remember each woman has her own likes and dislikes. Hopefully, she has a good grasp of what she likes through masturbation and fantasy.

However, there are some things that take a partner to figure out. It takes trial and error to find what positions and angles feel good. You might try holding still and allowing her to find what feels good to her.

Keep in mind that her body is learning a whole new set of movements and how to adapt to being penetrated. Like with any workout, it takes time for joints and muscles to get used to the strain.

Where you have sex is as important as the act itself. Make certain that the place is comfortable for her. No fear of anyone interrupting. The mattress is padded enough that her back isn't being bruised by being pushed into a hard surface. The room isn't too hot or cold. Bedding isn't getting in the way.

If you are going by whether she has had an orgasm, then you are putting the emphasis on the wrong thing. The journey to get there should be where you are focusing. To often people get into the mindset that sex isn't good unless you climax. They end up doing everything they think they should be doing to reach that goal and put pressure on themselves and each other which causes them to ignore any other pleasure they receive from sex. It becomes all about the physical aspects of intercourse. They start to put all of their attention on one spot and forget about the biggest erogenous zone of all-the mind.

For women, great sex begins long before you ever get close to your clothes coming off. It starts with glances, caresses, shared smiles, quick kisses that promise more later, whispered endearments, teasing touches, holding hands, hugs, etc. All of those things and more can get her brain thinking about 'later' and what she wants to do with and to you. As you learn more about each other's likes and dislikes, you will be able to figure out better what gets her mind involved.

As for orgasm, many women can't without help from a toy or fingers. We aren't really built to get maximum pleasure from penetration alone. Different positions and angles can help, but it is not uncommon for a woman to need more. It also takes many women a long time to get comfortable enough with penetration to mentally relax enough to let go. Hence the reason you focus on the journey and not the destination.

Communicate with her. Encourage her to be honest about what isn't working for her. Work together to find what does.

If she was a virgin, it just means that she's not sure what she needs to get pleasure our of sex. I suggest you talk about oral sex. Ask her if she masturbates, and if she doesn't, try touching her down there-but don't overdo it. I remember my first times- I loved everything before the sex but didn't really 'understand' penetration. Concentrate on that, and do ask her these questions. She might figure out that she needs to touch herself while you penetrate her. Lots of women need that.