I have an 11yr old stepdaughter that calls me a M.F on a daily basis, I spanked and her mother and I are now trying to mind things, how do I handle her if we get back toghter.. thank David

Well, if you do get back together... I'd suggest that you don't try to assume the role of being the disciplinarian (sp?). Most kids secretly want their natural parents to get back together, no matter the circumstances. So she sees you as an obsitcal in the path to her dreams. The harder you try to be "her dad" the harder she will fight you on it. Back off and just be yourself. In some ways, act like she's not even there. Don't ignore her completely, but don't try to strike up conversation with her. Let her be the one to start the conversations. Let her come to you, and maybe she'll see that you're really trying and will become your friend. Becoming someone she respects and looks up to is what it's all about.