My daughter will be 4 years old the end of this month her biological father has very little to do with her her entire life I recently moved to Minnesota babe requested that I file for child support which I did not want to do no that's very first time he's having to contribute a minor amount of money you not only has continually harassed me but in for me but he wanted your more so he had to pay less reason no reason only morning I received a summons court st 18th taking her way for me I'm going to give me a child support she doesn't even know him I want to mention to him that he would not have to pay anything and I would not want arrears in child support if he were to remove his parental rights which I'm sure he would. My daughter does not even know him.

Proud, can you please make your question more succinct. Please break up the sentences so we can understand what you really want to say. Slow down so we can answer you property. Just reply and break it down.

Tick

Sorry--tough luck there.

*I* want him to pay child support. Even if you don't need it, then it can go toward the child's college fund. I'm a taxpayer (in MN, I might add) and I absolutely do NOT want to support YOUR child.

Take him to court and get child support, get a court-ordered custody order and court-ordered visitation.

She SHOULD know him. She should know who he is and you should get his medical history for her.

Just because you don't like the guy you had sex with anymore isn't any reason for you not to figure out some way to both behave as adult PARENTS of the child.

PS--Absolutely NO court in MN is going to let him relinquish parental rights to get out of child support. You want him to go away? Get married, stay married a year, and get your spouse to do a step-parent adoption. Of course, your ex still has to agree to that as well.

Pretty sure "synnen" that's not at all what I said... You should not be responding when you sound like it's a personal issue you may think you know about... I have given him her whole life to have contact he has chosen to Not be apart of her life I have tried to incorporate his parents also. I know her family history. He does not know her & informed me that he Will Be making my life a living hell for 18 years if I collected any support which now living in mn they said I had to do. He is not safe, responsible, when I have invoked his family & a the tines they have seen her she has ended up in the emergency room. You don't know what's best, its NOT always Best to involve someone who will always walk-out and is not safe.

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Originally Posted by Proud_Mommy12

pretty sure "synnen" that's not at all what I said.... .

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I'm with tickle. I haven't a clue what you did say. Your post was almost totally incoherent without punctuation, confusing pronouns and such. The only thing I could get was someone wants you to file for child support and you would rather revoke his rights. But I'm not even sure of that.

I can tell you that it is highly unlikely that you will get his rights terminated. And if you require public assistance to help you raise your child, then you should be trying to offset the taxpayer's burden by getting him to pay support.

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Originally Posted by Proud_Mommy12

pretty sure "synnen" that's not at all what I said.... You should not be responding when you sound like its a personal issue u may think u know about ...I have given him her whole life to have contact he has chosen to Not be apart of her life I have tried to incorporate his parents also. I know her family history. He does not know her & informed me that he Will Be making my life a living hell for 18 years if I collected any support which now living in mn they said I had to do. He is not safe, responsible, when I have invoked his family & a the tines they have seen her she has ended up in the emergency room. U dont know whats best, its NOT always Best to involve somone who will always walk-out and is not safe.

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Hi proud, just calm down and look at it from our standpoint too. You will get some useful information eventually. It does take time because we are all volunteers here.

We are with you up to a certain point of understanding that you are having a problem with your ex and you love your daughter.

Tick

No YOU need to give appropriate information so we can answer. Has he urt her? Prove it. Unless you can prove that he is a consistent danger to her, and he has harmed her before (ie: did he cause these "emergency room" visits you bring up), there is nothing that you can so other than what synnen said. Get married, stay married, and petition for a step-parent adoption. Have you gotten a protective order for the times she ended up in the emergency room? Called social services or police? THAT is how you protect your child, not by doing something petty like trying to make her fatherless because you don't want to deal with the person you chose.

You didn't know he was abusive or unstable when you decided to have sex with him? A judge will ask you that. If we could remove parental rights because we don't think the parent makes good choices, I would ask them to take yours for having the poor judgement to sleep with a man like that. The point I'm making is that a court will not arbitrarily strip parental rights because you can't deal with the man who got you pregnant for the next 18 years. That is the law.


Your child also has a right to be supported by her father, no matter the hell an incinvenience it cause for you. You made your choice when you had a child with him, dealing with support is one of the consequences. The only way a state would make you apply for support is if you were receiving public assistance. Do you think taxpayers want to support your lifestyle and your child because you don't want to deal with the father?

I apologize I didn't realize how my post/question showed up originally. I have tried involving my ex (& his family), he has wanted nothing to do with my daughter he is angry that I have just recently been awarded a small amount of child support (July 1st she is 4) & now states that due to this he can & will (not acting as a father to my daughter), but be harassing me until I somehow get the child payment lowered which cannot be done. HE mentioned removing his rights which I Want to do also. He said he wants to remove his rights, but not transfer his rights to someone else. I've been married for over a year & have adopted my husbands daughter in and, I don't know the mn laws if my daughter would Have to be adopted for removal of parental rights or if there are ever exceptions.

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Originally Posted by Proud_Mommy12

I apologize I didn't realize how my post/question showed up originally. I have tried involving my ex (& his family), he has wanted nothing to do with my daughter he is angry that I have just recently been awarded a small amount of child support (July 1st she is 4) & now states that due to this he can & will (not acting as a father to my daughter), but be harassing me until I somehow get the child payment lowered which cannot be done. HE mentioned removing his rights which I Want to do also. He said he wants to remove his rights, but not transfer his rights to someone else. I've been married for over a year & have adopted my husbands daughter in nd, I don't know the mn laws if my daughter would Have to be adopted for removal of parental rights or if their are ever exceptions.

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That's better, Proud Mom. I am sorry you have to go through this and thanks for making it clear.

Tick

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Originally Posted by Proud_Mommy12

He said he wants to remove his rights, but not transfer his rights to someone else. I've been married for over a year

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He can't remove his rights unless your husband adopts the girl. It sounds like you are in a good place. Is your husband willing to adopt? (And thanks for posting much more clearly!)

He wants nothing to do with her. I have reports & documentation that she was in the emergency room due to his lack in parental skills. I thougjt this site was for legal inf it seems

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Originally Posted by Proud_Mommy12

He wants nothing to do with her. I have reports & documentation that she was in the emergency room due to his lack in parental skills. I thougjt this site was for legal inf it seems

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Proud, we can't replace an attorney obviously. All we can do is point you in the right direction.

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Originally Posted by Proud_Mommy12

I've been married for over a year & have adopted my husbands daughter

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OK, now we can really help. The father wants to stop paying support, then you get your husband to agree to adopt your daughter. As soon as the adoption is final, his obligation for support ends. So he should have no problem agreeing to it. So start the adoption proceedings immediately.

The only exceptions there ever are is if you can PROVE he is a danger to the child.

Start documenting ALL of his harassment, and save any and all texts, emails, and voicemails where he threatens to do something just to be petty. Use that in court.

MN won't remove parental rights unless someone is a danger to the child or it is in the child's absolute best interests--and you can PROVE it. Proof is HARD.

Your best bet is to pursue as much child support as you can and use that as leverage to get him to relinquish so that your husband can adopt.

Tick,

I (of course) don't agree with you reddie, but I'll share additional information. I was a single mom at nineteen. I had to poor judgement to have a child with a man who had already been arrested for abusing me, stalked me later, and is currently serving jail time for drug trafficking. I was a afraid of him. I AM STILL afraid of him, he is confrontational, violent, and carried firearms. Despite all of this, I still managed to get a protective order for myself and our child, call the police when he violated, and file for child support. My daughter deserved all of my effort at obtaining proper support for her and to keep her safe.

It would have been far easier to ignore him and pretend that he didn't exist. She doesn't know him, and life would be easier without having a get permission from a court to get her a passport. I would like to not have constant harassment from him or his fiancé because of his child support arrears. But, he was my choice, not my daughter's. I stuck her with him, and I damn well will do my best to make sure that if he won't be a dad, she at least has his support. There are ways to deal with a difficult parent. Terminating rights because you don't want to is not one of them. Quite frankly, I am pretty sick of posters who 1st, don't bother to browse and get the answer to this question, and 2nd, think that this is the solution to dealing with a difficult parent. You made your choices, and you have to live with the consequences. Taxpayers should not have to raise her child because she doesn't want to ask for support. Not, she can't collect support; she doesn't want support. That is not being a responsible parent, and yes, maybe I was a little anry about it. But, I don't think she needs people to coddle her, she needs people to level with her which, despite the convoluted question, she definitely got.

He wants nothing to do with her. I have reports & documentation that she was in the emergency room due to His lack in parental skills, he is unfit, & not he was not like that when I was engaged to him but since he has changed & is violent in nature. The point of the matter is that I just wanted to know if rights Can be removed without adoption in mn or not... I appreciated your legal advice but Didn't want or need your Opinon, or Moral judgement. I thought this site was for legal info but its seeming very bias. You do not know me, I have been overtly fair but will not let someone hurt my child.

And, the original advice she got (minus the padding) is correct. She can't strip his rights unless she can prove he is a danger, or she has been married for a year and would like to try and get his consent for a step-parent adoption.

Thank you for the current information, it is greatly appreciated. I felt bombared at first, thank u.

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Originally Posted by Proud_Mommy12

The point of the matter is that I just wanted to know if rights Can be removed without adoption in mn or not... I appreciated your legal advice but Didn't want or need your Opinon, or Moral judgement. I thought this site was for legal info but its seeming very bias. You do not know me, I have been overtly fair but wil not let someone hurt my child.

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This site is to provide answers and solutions to people in need of them. We will provide the legal answers, but we also may provide other info along with it. Members do not dictate who can answer or how they answer as long as they stay within the rules of the site.

No, MN will not grant a TPR unless you can prove he's a danger to the child or to clear the way for an adoption. Going the adoption route will be much easier for you. He will agree to it because it will end his support obligation. Trying to prove he's a danger will not do that and be much more difficult.

If you don't want someone to hurt your child, take the proper steps to protet her like calling the police, or opening cases with child protective services. Get a protective order. Document her injuries. You cannot terminate his rights for being a danger to her unless you have taken these steps to PROVE that he is a danger. Without proof, there is nothing you can do without his consent.